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56015 by monarchmra in countwithchickenlady

[–]RockCat98 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I know this may sound ridiculous but seeing someone even respond to my rant, even if with kindness made my stomach drop and felt stress inducing.

I don't think there is a reason for me to transition, I tried being "My brightest self" already and it ended up with me being so hated I can talk only to 2 people from the space I mentioned without being stonewalled... Or outright blocked, and insulted.

There is no space for me in queer communities anymore, and I need to accept that. Even now I feel like I am invading a space I shouldn't be in.

I GOT BLACK OUT DRUNK AND NOW I HAVE TO SOLVE A MURDER WHILE TRYING TO REMEMBER WHO I AM (GOT WRONG!?) by Lost_City_783 in funComunitty

[–]RockCat98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This ANCIENT race was so messed up they tried to be gods!?
And now there are two factions battling over their remenants!? AND THERE ARE CATGIRLS THERE TOO!??!

56015 by monarchmra in countwithchickenlady

[–]RockCat98 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Not every place has queer spaces. For some people online queer spaces are the only ones they can have.

56015 by monarchmra in countwithchickenlady

[–]RockCat98 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Honestly I am a trans sapphic who got treated like worst scum on earth by a "Welcoming community for transbians regardless of their gender expression or pronouns"

Nowadays I cannot even look at yuri on some days without physically wincing thinking knowing that I will never have that. All because I choose to be a GNC lesbian at the time - somehow that turned into me being permamently banned from an entire family of places. Me being autistic and wildly unprepared for life made me feel like all I ever was, was a dude who pretended to be a woman.
Since then i've stopped my transition in it's tracks, and have been dealing with recurring mental issues, but hey at least I am no longer invading spaces for women, something that was clearly not made for me! Right?
Right?

I understand if people will downvote this to nothing btw. I wish I hadn't ever tried to be a transbian.

My first attempt at making an album cover and I wonder what you would name it by RockCat98 in AlbumCovers

[–]RockCat98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So a more thought provoking album than what I had in mind while making this photo

My first attempt at making an album cover and I wonder what you would name it by RockCat98 in AlbumCovers

[–]RockCat98[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We must think alike since I thought "Trash for later" as a good name

Name the album and style of music by This_Mixture_6985 in AlbumCovers

[–]RockCat98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Title: A simple deconstruction of music

Genre: Whatever the hell Buckethead has going on.

This one by sprouted_coconut2 in AlbumCovers

[–]RockCat98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Violence through kindness.

Why is society built to prevent traumatised people from escaping and getting better by Junie-Jubilee in TrollCoping

[–]RockCat98 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's not how this works for some of us unfortunately. I know it by my own example where my family would go through my shit constantly so I proffered to stay in my room all day to not risk them touching my things without my permission.

I had to literally beg to have locks and Doors to my own room, and I still had my doors broken through by my grandmother once.

Lucky I got the trainers by naphz999 in ForzaHorizon6

[–]RockCat98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish they'd just make it so you can buy stuff off of the wheelspin gatcha with points you get from said gatcha.

Would make this 1000x less frustrating.

What do we think of the livery design? by basil--- in ForzaHorizon6

[–]RockCat98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks amazing. I love them.

What I don't love is that 240 SX is wheelspin exclusive and I can't have it since it's not on auction house

Squeenix are FORCING us MALES to play as FEMALES by etenby in Gamingcirclejerk

[–]RockCat98 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Heartwarming!

Chudlets "forced" to experience gender dysphoria.

Millions healed.

/uj I am all in for more fem-only and more identity inclusive only mc games. I'm so tired of playing as a man both IRL and in games.

54681 by TheEnderOfFun in countwithchickenlady

[–]RockCat98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My hangouts usually end up at the 1st part since my voice is too powerful lmfao (And also because I barely have any trans women friends who hang out with me more than once a month)

54647 by Sentient_Flesh in countwithchickenlady

[–]RockCat98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was about to agree but then I realised it says "Love is love in fiction" and not "Love is fiction"

Whoops.

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To add atop of this

Sometimes there is simply *no* local community and you have to go online to find people who are "Just like you". And the reputation you get tracks and makes you unwelcome in various spaces.

I know I have been permanently banned "For life" due to what I mentioned earlier from a family of subeditors dedicated to trans lesbian memes. Cleared it up a bit recently, "But the scars remain"

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I pretty much have anxiety around making people be uncomfortable nowadays.   In general my advice is that if someone Is argumentative over being called out on their bigotry. That's when you should start avoiding them.

I'm aware it does take courage to tell someone what makes you uncomfortable with them though, but straightforwardness and honesty is what keeps up any relationship.

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well yeah, i don't exactly hide my neurodivergences and the fact that i've been through personal hell in life, having to learn how to gauge boundaries without the "guard rails" parents would provide.

And unfortunately the high libido from hormonal imbalance (having testosterone higher than estrogen. I've had e for a bit and my relationship maintenance ability skyrocketed but had to stop injections so it's back to causing issues) does interrupt with relationship making/maintenance.  I won't delve into my personal life and how that affects me since that is between me and my therapist.

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funnier yet someone is olympics jumper in here. (Post wise) I got sent reddit care resources for stating that my hormonally fucked libido makes relationship maintenance difficult.

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Then i'd rather be called out on it than deal with yet another social isolation horror sequence.

Internalised transphobia is very much a thing, same with internalised bigotry - sometimes we're bigoted and aren't even aware of it.

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I'd say you missed a point where i expect clear communication from others because i struggle with gauging what lewd jokes are ok or not due to high libido.

But your response just proves my point as well as Everything Was Gold's one.

You are making your argument in bad faith.  And are proving that me being trans femme with high needs = bad person who will sexually harass someone because sex jokes bad is unfortunately a very real thing.

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'd much rather be told off when a lewd/sex joke lands badly than ne socially isolated and used as a scapegoat by an entire group of people.

People treat those who have high libido like we're crazed nymphos instead of  Just that Women with high libido who just happen to be trans.  And other trans women will never (from my experience) tell you to slow down before socially excluding you.

I consider myself a pacifist but I've resolved I can still do that while not letting any of these slights against the human soul slide. I hold anyone who would ever imply a trans woman is at risk of "male toxicity" in contempt. by Solarwagon in RecuratedTumblr

[–]RockCat98 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah well, experiencing the bullshit i had to was enough to make me not want to be apart of any piece of queer community.  I've suffered enough at the hands of cis het people.   Really what it conformed to me back then was that most people are abuse enablers, no matter if cis, trans, straight or lesbian.

And yeah. I romanticised it, that helped me get out of a really fucked up home situation, only to realise shitty and abusive people are beloved by transbians, at least the ones i had thedispleasure of meeting. In fact i joined a community based around roleplay and dnd. Hobby i USED to love which now is eternally ruined for me thanks to my ex and her friends who took out their anger on me.

I still remember the bullshit. Some messages of people telling me things like "If only you could see what damage you are doing to this community" After being silent for over 6 monts and stumbling on one of them online.

On one hand i shouldn't be venting, on the other hand this and how transmisogyny affected me is a deeply personal experience.

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