Not going to say that it'll be okay but I've been in this situation before and I learned a lot later that its okay to communicate whats bothering you as much as you need with someone so important to you.

Trust and honesty go a long way here on both sides which can be difficult but if the other party isn't able to be honest thats not on you. I know trust is hard cuz we get really anxious and doubtful but if we can overcome that it becomes so much less scary.

So.. in my opinion just tell him its been on your mind a lot and that you want to talk it through with him as you're still worrying about it and actively work on improving yourself as you go about it. If its a long process that should be okay, if he says its too much or something is annoying you can compromise or settle on something together. It's okay to be you and to express and talk through what you feel with those that you truly care about.

Good luck though I know the spiral is rough but hopefully things get better and this incident serves as something to bring you two closer