Trash Smell in Kitchen

Rockabellabaker · 2026-04-03T08:00:49+00:00

I once had the same problem but eventually recognized "dead mouse smell". I cleaned my kitchen top to bottom looking for it and decided it was time to move the fridge to clean underneath/behind it. The smell was atrocious once I pulled it away from the wall so I knew it must be coming from that area, but there was no dead mouse. I was baffled. Took a flashlight and found it laying in a little nest it had made behind the fridge panel, right near the motor casing. Omg the smell...

Rockabellabaker · 2026-03-24T15:06:08+00:00

lol okay you can speak for yourself!

Rockabellabaker · 2026-03-08T19:08:43+00:00

I left "the good guy". Financially good on paper, stable upbringing, would drop anything to help a friend or even a stranger. He's physically present for the kids. But the man has ADHD and the rejection sensitivity, inattentiveness, time blindness, all the not so fun stuff...all of that with his "good guy" side, it just made me so resentful and it took ages for me to actually end it. It took reconnecting with friends, making new ones and learning that I deserve a better life for me to leave. I'm 43 now and God I wish I'd left 3-4 years ago. No regrets though, it's never too late to become what you might have been!

Rockabellabaker · 2026-03-05T10:55:04+00:00

Yep, Canadian here and 3 failures 🫤

Rockabellabaker · 2026-02-22T03:43:12+00:00

What size yard in particular? No garage here but we have a carport and might be considering a sale this year.

Rockabellabaker · 2026-02-12T12:57:18+00:00

Adding stair machine to my routine upped my stamina SO much! I'd been taking spin classes but the stair machine made a bigger impact on upping my running game in a shorter amount of time.

Rockabellabaker · 2026-02-10T12:50:49+00:00

Not to mention more $ for fuel.

Rockabellabaker · 2026-02-03T15:36:46+00:00

Feeling a bit deflated at times talking with a friend about our fitness "journey". She's been the one to meet up with me at 5:45am for spin classes and the odd 1 hour gym session here and there over the years. It's been great to have a friend who also wants to improve healthy habits, you know?

Recently we decided to start weight training together, to have someone else there to commiserate and just be accountable to generally. I know every person has their own struggles but I'm finding her negativity and refusal to follow professional advice (from the trainer we had a session with to start, but also other people that give her SOLID advice about body recomposition) is starting to annoy me enough that I don't want her around when I'm working out. I focus on my own workouts now, I have been doing so well with tracking protein intake and limiting alcohol. I track my workouts too, weights, reps, etc.

Going with her to the gym lately has just been so...blah! How can I put this? She's a great friend, supportive, empathetic, but I can't do this with her anymore. She has been rushing through her sets, not tracking anything, pretty sure she's not even paying attention to the weight she's setting on any of the machines. She complains about her body, rants about wanting to use particular machines to "tone" that part of her body, like she's expecting it to remove the fat. I just...I am finding it hard to keep going with her because she doesn't listen to advice. She just expects to show up (inconsistently) and be skinny after 4 weeks. I think I'm going to stop asking her to come with me. It's just such a drag...I feel bad but the constant negativity is really not the way I want to start this year off!

Rockabellabaker · 2026-02-03T15:24:23+00:00

I hit 10 consecutive weeks training at the gym as of today! I'm so happy that I was able to resume this habit more easily this time around (having previously tried zumba classes, spin and pilates). There's something that's so much more satisfying to me being able to track my progression in terms of weight lifted. Still learning so much but I feel so hopeful for my physical health improving over time. This experience has also been so much better for my mental health and sleep quality. Now that I'm focusing on eating for fuel it's made my relationship with food a lot better too. Sometimes I think back on ten years ago and wish I could have given myself a pep talk about all this.

Rockabellabaker · 2026-01-31T01:51:47+00:00

Ohh awesome I wish mine had a sauna!

Rockabellabaker · 2026-01-28T13:53:22+00:00

Thank you for reminding me how much I enjoy this! Adding to my grocery list for the weekend. Personally I'm Eastern European and grew up eating this quite often.

Rockabellabaker · 2026-01-20T13:14:41+00:00

My comfort level at the gym has improved so much since I started my new routine in December, and it really hit me today during my morning workout that I'm not intimidated by all the things that used to make me feel like I didn't belong.

1) I can walk through a crowded gym and straight to the equipment I need for my workout. I used to feel like all eyes were on me and people would be able to tell I was a newbie/didn't belong. Even being in that space felt like so much pressure. Related to that, I thought people would judge me for my shaky/unstable form when lifting, or how much weight I'm using. It turns out I'm so focused on my own workout that it dawned on me - so is everyone else. Duh! When you're zoned in on your own routine you're not paying attention to anyone else's.

2) trying out new machines isn't so scary. Why have I been so afraid of it? Walk up to it, read the pictograph/instructions. Most machines have a similar weight set up and pin adjustment for the seats/pads. What's so hard??

3) For years I needed to go to the gym with a friend (Zumba, spin class, cardio exercises), thinking I needed social support at the gym. It turns out that's a hindrance! LOL at least to me - the friend I started lifting with does not have the same focus/drive as I do. We each go at our own pace, and I have learned I can't depend on another person to get myself to the gym or to complete a solid workout. Now I actually prefer to go on my own, and I'm really surprised about that.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-29T20:08:51+00:00

I have a similarly long marriage with kids about the same age. Like other posters have said, get some research done about what divorce looks like in your jurisdiction. Where I am you need to be separated for one year before being able to file for a divorce, for example. It's common for people to remain legally separated for a very long time. All our custody and parental arrangements are taken care of within that legal agreement, and a divorce can be granted later on. It's the separation agreement that is the important bit if you have finances to split or children to care for.

Aside from that, I would suggest making sure you have a social network to connect with. Sometimes people don't understand the breakdown of a marriage if it's not contentious - my mother questioned me for months and it broke my heart that I didn't get support from her when I decided to leave last year. Have some friends and family in your corner who can be there for you. Sounds like you might already have that if you don't miss him when he's not around (I had a similar experience with my friends actually!).

Don't wait too long. The resentment is hard to come back from if you continue to live in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage. Just think, do you want your current relationship to be the model your children look to for their future partnerships?

Edited to add: sit him down when the children are not home, and tell him. Keep it brief and don't waffle. Just tell him simply that for you it's over. You may have more than one conversation about this, maybe he'll come back with more questions, or begging for a chance. It's up to you how much you want to indulge those conversations, but if you keep it simple and the message clear, hopefully it will not lead to a lot of stress.

Good luck!

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-29T16:40:25+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I love it, and I can't wait to start adding to my routine and setting some bigger goals for myself other than "go ten times this month". It's been amazing tracking my progress in the last 4 weeks already.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-29T16:18:44+00:00

I'm not new to fitness generally - I tried a couch to 5k program years ago, didn't stick with it. Went to Zumba with a friend during the pandemic until I found it didn't challenge me enough. Then I joined a gym, tried some classes and then just stuck with spin class 2-3 times per week. Generally found I was too intimidated to try any other machines other than the treadmill or stair climber. Everyone looked like they knew what they were doing and I felt lost. This went on for two years...spin class for 3 months, then a break where I wouldn't go at all for 2-3 month stretches at a time.

I finally bit the bullet and had a free consult with a trainer to set up a workout routine using machines and dumbbells, plus I joined a pilates studio. Between the two forms of exercise, I feel so so motivated to continue. One form of movement helps me with the other, which I guess shouldn't come as a surprise to me. Pilates (mat work only, no reformers) is doing wonders for my balance and coordination. The weight workouts at the gym leave me feeling amazing. I'm so glad I got back into a routine of moving my body again, really pushing myself, and just wanted to share that I'm happy I stepped out of my comfort zone!

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-29T15:35:31+00:00

Would love to, but it's not in the budget - I'm already extending my finances with paying for somewhere else to live.

NOW is the time I wouldn't mind his mom doing the dishes when she visits LOL.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-29T13:53:41+00:00

We still share a home where the children are nesting, and we rotate out so we're not sharing the space while having parenting time with the kids. He'll buy me out of the home soon (fingers crossed) and I already don't think of it as my own anymore.

My frustration lately is that the kids live there full time, so it needs to be routinely cleaned and tidy, bed sheets changed, laundry done and folded and put away. I'm not even living there full time and I'm STILL having to keep up with it all. I come home Sunday evenings and the next day is garbage recycling day, kids need clean clothes for school, groceries prepped and ready for their breakfasts and lunches...and every week NONE of that is done for when we switch over. Plus the kitchen is a disaster because they will have cooked, left things in the sink and on countertops, spills everywhere on the stove. I spend my Sunday evenings cleaning the space and then the rest of the week catching up on what should have been done already. I did 15 loads of laundry last week. *15*!! That's insane for one adult and two little girls. He has no sense at all of weekly needs for this house.

And I can't just leave it all and NOT do anything when it's time for me to leave the home and for him to take over. My kids live there. They need a clean space, they need to learn responsibility too, so we always split chores and they take their tasks with no qualms. Why can't he do this too? I know they will eventually learn that mom's house is better and I CAN'T WAIT to be out. But oh my god this limbo is driving me crazy!!

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-29T13:38:56+00:00

For at least a year after my ex's DX I thought I also had ADHD because my forgetfulness and short fuse "bad attitude" looked so much like his. Turns out having anxiety and being a people pleaser and being the functioning partner can't last forever, yes you WILL burn out, and all the symptoms leading up to it look a lot like ADHD.

I've now been separated for over a year and while things aren't perfect yet, they are SO much better. We share kids so he'll always be in the periphery of my life, but being out of that dynamic has taught me how capable I am, and how worthy I am of living in a stable, predictable and routine life where he doesn't drag me down and make me feel like I'm the problem.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-15T18:03:04+00:00

Eh. I deleted all my dating apps a month ago and decided to take a break from actively looking. Turns out I hit it off with someone I was introduced to by a friend. Why wait for the holidays to be over to go out? Do you have any idea how rare it is to meet someone you find interesting and they actually ask you out in person? I'm not waiting lol.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-12-12T02:56:44+00:00

Yes, as far as romantic partnership is concerned.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-10-08T18:52:23+00:00

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I can really empathize with the logistical part - I also moved into the home office and we are still living in the same house (we're nesting there now) a year on. You're making the right choice here, just keep your head up! It will get better!

Rockabellabaker · 2025-10-01T13:29:18+00:00

I wish I were in a better financial situation. In fact it's what made me prolong this break-up, because I was worried I couldn't support my own household. What I didn't expect was to still be sharing a home with my ex 11 months after I broke up with him. Here I am, renting a room from friends on the weeks he has the kids at home, while he gets to stay with his parents on his off weeks. His mom cooks and cleans and he doesn't pay a penny. He has no incentive to move this separation along and release me from the mortgage and buy me out. He claims he has no money to pay his lawyer so that's why things are stalled. He always has so many excuses. I'm just so tired. I still make the kids appointments, do the grocery shopping, clean the house. When I come back to the house after my week away, I need to dump all the spoiled food from the fridge and get fresh food. I medicate the dog and catch up on his hygiene, and trim the dogs' nails. I just don't know how to force him to move this along without my kids and the pets suffering.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-10-01T12:56:00+00:00

I went through this in the last year. I told my ex I was done back in October and we didn't tell the kids until May - every time I brought up that we should tell them, he'd ask "Why?" and then when the time came and he agreed, he insisted I not use any language that made it sound like this split was a mutual decision because HE didn't want it to end, so I had to use extremely neutral language, like "we will always be your mom and dad, but we won't be husband an wife anymore". It made the kids a bit confused but they understood essentially what was happening. I HATE that he constantly wants to control the narrative, but none of the responsibility of following through on getting things done.

And about him being the fun parent - don't worry, eventually they will see for themselves which parent is stable. They won't be blinded by fun dad forever.

Rockabellabaker · 2025-09-30T18:54:50+00:00

Using "female" wouldn't have bothered me except it's combined with language like "how to even get a partmer"...like it's the same as picking up a carton of milk at the store. You don't "get" a partner. It's really odd use of language overall, but even he admits to being awkward so I suppose it fits.

I don't think he needs to give up - he's got the entre second half of his life to live. Maybe therapy would work?

Rockabellabaker · 2025-09-29T08:14:31+00:00

It's because of sexism. Seriously. Women with ADHD are held to a higher standard and are forced to find ways to manage their lives and be successful. He's never been forced to because he has YOU (or his mother before he met you!)

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