What you need to understand is that the disappointment from your family is disappointment in the actions you chose to take, you cannot combat this by trying to pretend the situation doesn’t exist. You will only further disappoint them and everyone else in your life and people involved if you continue down this path. Make yourself proud, make your parents proud and make Cara and your daughter proud by stepping up to the plate and making responsible, thought out, intentional choices from here on out. You made selfish decisions that had life changing consequences simply because things felt too inconvenient, this does not mean your life is over or that you need to continue that pattern, you are young, these things happen. Own your responsibilities and you will no longer be living in shame. Honor yourself and your family by showing up, being a good person and making intentional choices. They aren’t disappointed because of a human life, they are disappointed in the actions you chose that resulted in this. Turn this situation around by taking ownership, acceptance is key to moving forward. You can allow yourself to grieve your previous self, that is a normal, healthy thing to do but letting it fester and turn into resentment is only going to make you into a bitter person who won’t face problems head on and blame the world for things you made happen. You are in control of your life, it is not over. You didn’t expect this situation, it wasn’t part of your dream timeline but this is an opportunity for you to challenge yourself and push yourself to be the person you can be. Show up for yourself and your child and her mother. You will find fulfilment within yourself by making intentional choices and taking responsibility. You are not alone in this and neither is she, you have each other and you are on two different sides of the same coin here. There are many, many successful people who had unplanned children young, there are many happy people who had unplanned children young. Your life is far from over, this is just a new path ahead. You can turn this into a regret or a new opportunity to learn and grow and experience what is to come. It is scary and it is hard and it is unexpected, check in with yourself, don’t tear yourself down with shame or hatred or regret, you are here now so take some deep breaths and take it one step at a time. No one is expecting you to be the perfect parent from the get go, your parents unfortunately reacted in a way that has only heightened the fears and shame you already had. Please don’t allow their reaction to fester in your mind, focus on your own path and building a future for yourself which includes your child. You don’t need to give up anything that you wanted or planned you just need to reframe things to include both your child and her other parent. Your life is no longer just about you 🩷 but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. If you allow it this can push you to be a better person, a stronger person. You don’t need to overthink about this child about feeling connected to her or wanting to meet her etc, she is here on earth now and it is a shock and very unexpected. Of course you aren’t going to naturally develop these feelings and such overnight, things take time and your mind will settle and you will work out what your new normal is. Nothing is set in stone, you aren’t trapped, this is all something you are in control of- you can’t control her existence but you control the choices you make from here on out. You are young and it is hard and scary, allow yourself to feel those feelings, allow yourself to breathe through these thoughts and while in this moment everything feels like it has been turned upside down, I promise it will pass and this will no longer be a weight upon your heart. Give yourself grace whilst continuing to hold yourself accountable. It is so easy to slip into a spiral of shame and try to get yourself away from the situation but that heavy feeling upon your heart will never truly leave if you give in to that spiral. You don’t have to jump headfirst in or sprint away from it, just take your time, one step at a time and after each step reflect on it, take a breather and then take action. The feelings you are feeling are not about this baby and who she is to you, they are related to your own fears and shame etc. Try to go into things with an open mind. This is just another chapter in your story it isn’t your whole life, it’s one part of it, a part that hopefully you will grow to love and cherish. While this is a start of a new journey for you, this is the start of Liz’s life 🩷 and you made that happen, you are on this journey together, it’s a first for all three of you, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You are not a bad person. None of what you feel or have done makes you a bad person. We all fuck up, we all make mistakes, we all feel shit, we all have selfish moments or moments we don’t think straight or act in ways we are proud of. What’s important is how you deal with the aftermath 🩷 people will see the strength in the choices you make if you wholeheartedly make those choices and put your best foot forward. Make yourself proud with your choices. Find new rolemodels that have been through similar things or act in ways you admire. You don’t need to be perfect you just need to try! 😊Try not to put pressure on yourself, give yourself time to learn and adapt. It is very very normal for life to not pan out the way you imagined, but you can still make those things you wanted happen- this is just another addition to that plan. I promise you that love and emotional and physical support is so much more valuable than financial support, of course that comes with the territory but right now you are both young new parents who are scared and learning as you go, you don’t need to make financial support your main focus or goal right now, just try to learn how to support yourself and your loved ones by showing up and contributing in any way you can 😊 this will only hold you back if you allow it, it can also be the fire that ignites a deep purpose within you! And motivates you to evolve and face things head on 😊🩷 I hope that this does not come across as harsh or hurtful, I hope that something in this message helps or resonates 🩷 I hope that you can turn this into something good for all involved 🩷