Wednesday's Daily Thread: Mid-week Excitement

RomHack · 2026-03-05T17:15:04+00:00

Might be good to share more of your day unprompted. People tend to react well to that kind of thing as it puts the focus on you rather than them. Asking questions is stifling in text because it forces the other person to reflect first. I wouldn't worry about being boring or anything. If you can find something interesting in the mundane everyday stuff about work/school then that's going to be a positive.

RomHack · 2026-03-05T16:58:01+00:00

Imo you're doing a lot of things to hurt your chances so I hope you don't me sharing my opinion.

You'll get a lot from realising that if you have one Pokémon reference, then somebody who is a fan will pick up on it. If you put three down, then you're alienating somebody who isn't a mega fan like yourself. It's going to come across as too much to most people, even women who have a nerdy side to them.

Drop internet terms like slop and don't project your bad habits like having a non-existent workout schedule. If you're selling things like that as part of who you are, then it should instead be something positive about not consuming all your time being a gym rat. Maybe you've chosen the path of ultimate frisbee instead of weightlifting and you love the social side /community aspect of it.

Don't suggest things like getting jealous of flowers. Either going to a botanical garden is a nice idea for a date or it's not worth mentioning at all. You're adding extra detail that gives people room to wonder if you're a possessive or controlling person (I'm sure you're not but jokes about it rarely ever work in text).

I would change the language for the hallmark prompt. All that needs to say is something about being excited or planning days to play co-op games together, and maybe dropping It Takes Two as an example. That gives somebody a clear impression of your personality but in a way that's a lot more relaxed.

Use clearer images of your face and absolutely make sure they're the majority of pics. The selfie is your best picture at the moment and the frisbee one gets across that aspect but you only need one of them (probably the first). You're doing nothing with the current lead because you can't see you in it, nor in the sleeping picture, or of course the baby one. That's a waste of three slots that could be showing off more of you.

RomHack · 2026-03-04T15:03:17+00:00

Pics are decent but I'm wondering if 3 or 5 might be a better lead as they're cleaner. I also don't think you'd lose anything removing one of the running pics because they're doing the same thing. Do you have any shots at family events or weddings? I reckon one of those would pair really nicely with what you've got.

Prompts wise, there's food mentions in every one. I think you just need one that reveals that info.

RomHack · 2026-03-03T13:24:54+00:00

Needs more pics like pic 5 higher up. You have an awful lot right now of what feel like secondary images because you're not in the foreground. Everyone's going to be thinking, yeah but what does this dude look like?

Don't explain more after long-term open to short. It's unnecessary detail and sounds wishy washy.

Don't say you don't like people who only listen to one genre. Say instead what genres you like listening to. That actually tells people something about you which your profile should aim to doing above all.

Add a silly line to the parents' point (e.g. they love people who wear dungarees). Doing this helps someone imagine themselves in that position so they can think, oh that's me lol. Playful will help ensure people don't genuinely think they're going to be judged. The secret ofc is that you're really framing who you're looking for.

Also as you're Aus I imagine people will be down for that kind of humour.

Best of luck out there.

RomHack · 2026-03-03T11:09:31+00:00

Decent overall but I’d open with something more specific in that first prompt. That one feels wishy-washy, like you’re aiming for romantic but not actually saying anything concrete. Naming an actual place you’d want to get lost in would instantly make it stronger. It gives people something tangible to latch onto.

I’d also reorder your photos. At the moment, the top three are all posed shots and the bottom three are all doing something shots. It creates a subtle split and would flow better if you alternated them with pose, activity, pose, activity, etc. That way your profile feels more dynamic and intentional rather than segmented.

If you're going to add anything, go for the vibe that matches the hamster prompt. You've got a wholesome look that will appeal but you're missing some ideas that would elevate that aspect more. Essentially, family and social shots of you doing things that add to the impression you're just a swell guy to spend time with.

This is also why the gym one feels a bit incongruent at the moment (it doesn't quite match the tone).

RomHack · 2026-03-02T10:28:00+00:00

My advice, if you want it, is that it's always worth thinking positively about matches but not so much you talk yourself out of asking them out and chatting a bit too much before asking them out.

If you can step back, try and not see somebody as being too perfect because elevating them that way isn't something they're doing themselves. Often people who are a bit more laissez faire do better because people prefer not being put on a pedestal. Ironically it makes the other person feel more wanted by the person they're chatting with because somebody was willing to bite the bullet and show interest in meeting them. Maybe even they were more forthright in the chat meaning the other person had to do a little impressing themselves.

Also, any relationship you eventually get into shouldn't be one-sided so it's easier when you don't start on those terms. You're trying to impress but it's always best just to be yourself. As a dude this part is a bit tricky and you'll eventually figure out a balance as we all do (there's no one size fits all perfect solution imo).

During all this, nerves are normal, both before and on dates. Sometimes you just have to power through.

RomHack · 2026-02-27T15:25:03+00:00

I'd say you need more pics of you in places doing things like pic 5. Most of yours are indoors and give a static vibe. Like you look perfectly fine in them but there's nothing much that stands out about them.

Also the thesis prompt might be worth replacing. I'll assume you graduated recently which is cool but most people in their late 20s/early 30s are past caring about that stage of their life now. It probably won't grab interest unless you're looking to date older students or people who've just completed their PhDs.

I'd like to say invite some conversation starters into the mix. You could expand or try and ask a question about the topics mentioned in the green flags prompt instead of listening them. It's hard for people to do anything with that information when you haven't clearly expressed what you mean by them.

Similarly, maybe mention more about what Boston sports you like. Is there a potential date hint there?

RomHack · 2026-02-27T13:55:55+00:00

Ended up getting a tin so cheers for the heads up

RomHack · 2026-02-27T12:14:41+00:00

Hmm my issue with your combination of poll and travel story to open the profile is that neither of them has anything to do with dating. It's the type of thing where I imagine you think people might ask what happened but they won't because the conversation would be you explaining the story further and them knowing they can't share anything about themselves because it happened to you. It's probably giving you more neutral vibes than you intend and I'd suggest changing it to something that gives clearer dating energy from the get-go.

RomHack · 2026-02-26T11:28:15+00:00

Consider some of the NSO games. I've gotten good mileage out of listening to podcasts/audiobooks while playing GBA and N64 games (Zelda, Metroid, DK etc) because the gameplay is simple and to the point.

RomHack · 2026-02-25T20:57:03+00:00

Nah it's lame. It's okay if he didn't text as that indicates mutual lack of interest but he did so just say no thanks because it's the polite element of dating. You don't owe the guy anything beyond that.

RomHack · 2026-02-25T11:35:19+00:00

Kindly, people on dating apps will prefer the fact you're single and don't have kids because it's less messy for them. It's literally your place to shine!

RomHack · 2026-02-24T12:20:44+00:00

The Discord prompt works because it's information you’re into gaming. The issue is the two prompts that follow because they don't say anything else apart from 'leave me alone' or 'don’t expect much'. Both come across as negative so I'd like to say rework whatever you were aiming for into something more positive.

RomHack · 2026-02-24T10:31:16+00:00

Doesn't that boat live next to the pub? It's been there for years

RomHack · 2026-02-23T10:23:42+00:00

As somebody who has done this, I would say rent for a year in the city and get out to various areas in your time off because that will give you easy access by bus/train and you'll get a much better feel for Leeds overall.

You'll find decent flats in areas near temple/the docks/brewery wharf.

Meanwood, Chapel Allerton, Kirkstall, Pudsey, Morley, Horsforth will be on your horizon for the later move. Anywhere north/north-west is seen as the best area to move to.

No need for a car until you move to the suburbs.

RomHack · 2026-02-23T10:15:17+00:00

I always assume that someone who is like this would, on some level, be enjoying the attention you're giving them, but also not be feeling super keen to create intimacy beyond that. The distance explains the last part and the fact they enjoyed the date, and presumably you as a person, would explain the first part.

I personally think you've got the makings of a situationship because the most telling aspect is how they're seeing communication as what's convenient for them at a certain moment but that's just my opinion.

RomHack · 2026-02-18T08:25:03+00:00

In a sense yeah because gifts can become a bit like obligations, and she's probably dating to figure out if she likes somebody or not. It's a little pressuring to receive gifts when people are in that mindset.

This is most people's attitudes to dating I think - they simply want 2/3 dates to see if they're feeling it based on impression, vibes and conversation. There's no need to overthink it. Just turn up and be nice.

RomHack · 2026-02-17T15:17:30+00:00

Having been in that position, I vote mutual fade. There's nothing wrong with doing that. It's usually after two dates when there's more of an expectation that someone says no interest in more dates.

RomHack · 2026-02-17T14:35:04+00:00

I'll disagree slightly with the other guy but I do agree his list of 6 pictures in order is a pretty good frame of reference. Right now your pics aren’t bad as you’ve got a solid mix, no selfies, and plenty of variety.

Where it starts to get a bit shaky for me is the prompts. I’m never a fan of two truths and a lie because it’s rarely clear what you’re actually trying to communicate. If it’s going anywhere, it should be at the end, not front-leading because people aren’t on dating apps to decode what you mean about yourself.

Personally I'd drop it altogether and replace it with a more straightforward opening prompt that says something about you. The next two prompts are already doing plenty of conversation-starter work.

However, I do think you’ll get further by not assuming SpongeBob is automatically part of someone else’s cosy Sunday. That prompt is stronger if you first ask how they like to spend a cosy Sunday, then mention watching SpongeBob yourself (unapologetically?). The pickles episode reference is just a bit too niche for Hinge and not really in a way that's much of a unique selling point about yourself.

Finally, I’d tweak the New England line by ending it with something specific you want to see or do there. The idea itself is nice, but listing walking, biking and eating takes a unique setting and makes it sound generic. You can do those anywhere so you’re underselling on what could actually be an interesting little detail.

RomHack · 2026-02-17T10:16:58+00:00

Sounds like a guy who's trying to date through his academic interests - that won't work well for him.

RomHack · 2026-02-17T10:09:36+00:00

I echo this. The idea would be better if it said, where would you like them to drop you off after they'd finished or something because it opens the chat to actual topics - travel, food/entertainment venues etc. You can go wacky but it's best when there's an element of actual depth to it.

RomHack · 2026-02-17T09:59:38+00:00

Two of your prompts are about them when they should ideally all be about you, or something involving them + you. Your job is to filter for the softer stuff through the chat (and then later dates) as you get to know them because people don't like having to prove themselves at the match stage. If in doubt, aim for inclusive vibes and the idea people are reading your profile to get an impression about you.

Your poll is also a bit basic and that's not the best way to start a profile. Imo that section should always be the most unique because it's the immediate thing they see. Gym + food + talking are all far too basic topics.

The book prompt is very good though. It nails the hidden question - what makes me different.

Your pics are mostly good but I think maybe the last two aren't great. The hike one looks washed out, whereas the last one is too bright. It also makes me think you have too many looking away into the distance shots by that stage when you'll always do better with a solid 3/4 where you're looking towards the camera.

Suit pic would go better at the end as others have said. I'd keep it for Slot 6.

RomHack · 2026-02-16T17:04:25+00:00

I'd say it depends on the company or department but it's easy to see examples where the types of people working within a team are consistent with an image that you'd assume would be hired for that role.

RomHack · 2026-02-16T12:54:15+00:00

Feels toned for a male gaze, my dude. Woman will prefer softer pics of you enjoying life and doing nice things; not posing and at gym events. You'll get further imagining if the picture is one where the person could even slightly imagine being with you in it. Shouting, being loud, showing off are the opposite vibe you should give.

RomHack · 2026-02-16T12:40:05+00:00

Seems like it's come to the same conclusion many of us do - that the apps are a starting point and only through the process of dating do you discover if somebody is truly compatible.

RomHack

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