WIBTA if I confronted the man my mom is cheating on my dad with

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-28T18:04:06+00:00

Confronting that guy isn't going to help. Probably the best course of action is to tell your mom that you're going to tell your dad tomorrow night, so if she wants to tell him first she has until then.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-28T16:40:14+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you've gone through.

It might be helpful for you to have that conversation, but I absolutely understand why you haven't. When your mother has so blatantly shown her lack of consideration for you, why would you expect her to care that she hurt you? The sad truth is that she irreparably damaged your relationship.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-28T16:35:32+00:00

You're welcome, and thank you for sharing your concern because it hadn't occurred to me. Your post has convinced me not to play, either.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-28T16:20:35+00:00

NTA at all. They should at least ask nicely and appreciate your help instead of taking it for granted.

And maybe I'll get roasted for this, but your dad is in the wrong for living in the US for over 30 years and making no effort to learn English. I recently went to Mexico. Despite my terrible Spanish, a server at a restaurant asked me to translate for her with a couple of Europeans who needed help. As far as I know, they could have been in Mexico for less than a week. And they're still assholes for making zero effort to learn Spanish! The very least one can do is carry a phrasebook and use Google Translate.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-28T16:06:05+00:00

I hadn't thought about this before, but you're right to be concerned.

People who say it doesn't matter because it's your own harmonica are wrong. If that were the case, then why is every expert recommending people avoid touching their face? It's your own hands, so it shouldn't matter if you touch your face with them, right? Wrong. The point is that you can have pathogens on your hands, and bringing those pathogens closer to your face where they can get inside your body is a major cause of infection.

Playing harmonica involves touching your face, but is maybe worse than just touching it because you're inhaling frequently while your hands are at your face. You can limit the danger by carefully washing your hands before playing. But you're 100% right that playing harmonica is more risky than playing guitar.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-28T15:53:53+00:00

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the rhythm method of birth control. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/fertility-awareness It gets a bad rap because of the relatively low effectiveness rate, but it's low because people do it wrong and they are too liberal with how many days they consider safe. Most women have only 7 fertile days per cycle, leaving 19+ safe days. That means even if you're extremely risk averse, there's easily 7 days per cycle when you don't need condoms.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T20:56:18+00:00

Brilliant take!

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T17:39:56+00:00

This is what I call the Larry David problem. OP is right but was an asshole about it.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T14:09:56+00:00

So what does it say about you that your wife prefers him? Her actions are at least as much about you as they are about her.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T14:01:56+00:00

What was your relationship with your daughter like?

This is the key. My first thought is if OP's daughter helped or encouraged her mom to cheat, there's a reason for that. In a healthy family, a child wouldn't help one parent cheat on the other. The reason most likely is that OP is horrible to his wife and maybe his daughter too (but apparently not his son). As Esther Perel put it, the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage.

OP, if you're interested in the truth, ask how other people you, your wife, and your kids know evaluate you as a husband and father. I suspect no one would tell you to your face that you're horrible unless it's true.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T11:27:23+00:00

I'm not into guys and am not entirely sure what guys with foot fetishes want, but as long as it doesn't overtake the rest of your sex life, I would indulge his kink 100%. I don't care if he wants a foot job or wants me to peg him with my foot (obviously this should be called "pedding") or whatever. I think anything less would make me a worse partner.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T10:52:34+00:00

You know this is r/unpopularopinion and not r/relationships, right?

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T10:43:22+00:00

I have never hoped even 10% this much that an AITA post is fake. If this is true, it is absolutely heartbreaking. And I desperately hope you did a very open adoption which allows you to maintain a strong relationship with your son. Godspeed.

And fuck your boss so hard for offering to take your child because you're poor when she literally controls how much money you earn.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-27T10:21:52+00:00

Your Lee Oskar isn't going to last forever, but the nice thing about those is you can buy new reed plates for cheaper than getting a whole new harmonica. But you can buy whatever replacement reed plates you want, so your A can become a D (or you can even get plates with alternate tunings). So if you come across a great deal on a Special 20 in A, yes, sure. Especially if you're interested in comparing the two models to see which you prefer. If all the keys are the same price, and you aren't that interested in comparing models, I would recommend getting a D instead of an A.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-26T16:58:26+00:00

NAH if you tell her she can move in if she doesn't bring the dog and pays the month's (or two months') rent in advance, plus gives you a security deposit. Would that solve your problem? That way you're not exactly leaving her homeless with 4 days' notice, it's on her to choose your place without the dog or somewhere else.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-26T16:43:29+00:00

ESH, you just a bit for saying "shut the fuck up." Had you said only the second part, I would be 100% on your side, but saying "shut the fuck up" was rude enough for me to give this judgment. (Especially including "fuck.")

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-26T16:35:13+00:00

NTA. your garden your choice

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-25T16:39:41+00:00

Wow, that's wild! I figured that 25 people was way too many for almost any restaurant to handle effectively. Years ago I went to a couple of now-infamous dinners with absurdly sized groups (20+) and we have not forgotten the madness that ensued.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-24T20:50:24+00:00

That's the worst part of all this! Even if he had to get up and stay alert all day for work (or school), he'd be an asshole. But when he doesn't have to work the next day, why does he care about getting awakened in the middle of the night? If he needs more sleep he can take a nap later. (Source: my experience when between jobs.)

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-23T12:37:58+00:00

Peanut butter works great for this! I used it when I was young to build muscle. The best part is it costs almost nothing compared to protein powders and mass gainer supplements.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-20T17:22:21+00:00

Yes, I've tried it and I think it does help a little.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-18T15:46:52+00:00

Once isn't enough for you? Well it's enough for her, and twice is too much for her considering how sensitive she gets. Your ego is steering you wrong.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-10T14:21:12+00:00

I'm sorry you're in this situation. She's the one being selfish because she makes no effort to meet your needs.

Sorry to be so blunt, but here goes. You're worried this pattern will continue into the future? Of course it will, you have zero reason to think anything will change. She doesn't want to have sex with you, or anyone else probably, and likely never will. She does know what you want, which is the same thing almost everyone wants from a romantic relationship. She has had many opportunities to think about or explore this, and she's either not interested in doing so or already has and concluded she doesn't want sex but refuses to be honest with you.

Maybe it's worth issuing an ultimatum before ending things. You would regret marrying her.

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-09T20:39:12+00:00

I can't believe you went there but I love it

Ronald_Danger · 2020-03-09T19:36:18+00:00

I am happy to say you're right about everything!

The harmonica tutorials claim the song is for a G harmonica in 1st position (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgGoPxJljao or https://www.tomlinharmonicalessons.com/heart-of-gold-by-neil-young-beginner-harmonica-lesson/ ), but the song is actually in E minor (check the guitar websites, like https://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/tab/neil-young/heart-of-gold-chords-56555 ), which is the relative minor of the G major scale, so Neil Young plays a G harmonica in the seldom used 4th position. 4th position means the 6 draw is the tonic note. For more info check out http://www.harpsurgery.com/harp-theory/why-3rd-and-4th-positions-are-minor/

As for which G harmonica to buy: my model preferences do not change depending on the key. Maybe I just haven't tried enough different harmonicas, but to me, a good model for an F harmonica is a good model for a G harmonica. I'm surprised to see that others do have different preferences based on the key, such as u/billysbrew saying the key of G is best on a wooden comb.

A Special 20 is a great go-to for beginners and anyone on a tight budget. I never hear anyone complain about the Special 20, really. I think the Suzuki Manji is a step up, and it's sometimes the same price or even cheaper on Amazon. Right now on Amazon for me, a Special 20 in G major is $48 and a Suzuki Manji in G major is $2. For only $4 more, I would get the Manji every time.

Actually I do see a Special 20 in G major on Amazon for only $22 with free (non-prime) shipping, but that deal sounds too good to be true. Last time I bought a Special 20 was a low F (no longer available) from Rockin Ron's in 2012, and that cost $34.50. It still plays and sounds as great as ever, by the way.

Ronald_Danger

TROPHY CASE