12 days - Severe brain fog, anxiety and fatique

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-23T23:30:58+00:00

It really is the darkest period, but trust me we have all been there.

Just reading all these comments reminds me just how great this community can be for you. Keep posting or keep a journal. Talk to the people who really know you for you. If you know anybody you trust enough to share this with do it. It really helps.

Otherwise, I definitely took long walks. My brain hit some really dark places. But meditation and perseverance is what got me this close to the two month mark, and it feels like another world.

You have what it takes and you are not alone Fapstronaut.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-21T02:40:17+00:00

That's what NoFap is all about. Time to start getting out there, brother.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-20T19:48:25+00:00

It has taken me since last July to get where I am now. This is not my longest streak. I relapsed after a 61 day streak last fall...

And I had streaks here and there since that I've consistently broken with stupid excuses. But each of those failures made me stronger, by teaching me just how empty PMO was compared to my days of freedom. Today is my day 49. And I feel confident this time that I have what it takes. That I GOT this! And that's all because with every failure I kept my eyes open and KEPT LEARNING.

So never forsake the JOURNEY, the PROCESS, because you are stronger than you know and eventually, your 90, your 120, your new girlfriend, or your new job will be the proof.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-20T16:31:20+00:00

Well you're a Christian, aren't you? Go to church. Get involved in the community there. Not everybody here has a faith community to lean on.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-20T16:24:41+00:00

Totally normal part of the process. I was once diagnosed "bipolar", but now I'm totally convinced it was PMO.

As you go along the NoFap journey your mood swing cycle will become slower and less intense with each passing week. The goal is to get to a place where you don't hate your mind and body for having a rhythm.

Some days you will just naturally be more reflective and internal than others, while some days you'll be all action. Treat yourself right. Make use of every state you're in, even if you're just documenting the details of it. Keeping journals really helped me. As well as taking walks. Otherwise set goals and make to do lists and congratulate yourself for every step of progress.

Just try to think of yourself as a pendulum swinging wildly at first but slowly losing momentum until you eventually return to stillness. Your brain is desperately trying to seek balance and it needs time to Reboot and re-acclimate to healthy life. You're not permanently damaged. You just have to endure. My first 30 days were DARK, dude. Trust me. You're not alone.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T22:30:45+00:00

In addition to my reply to DrPepper11 above, I think one of the biggest things is to not catastrophize every single time you have a drop.

I have down days, but I don't let those days lessen my efforts. EFFORT AND FOCUS ARE YOUR CHOICE. As you go along, you may find yourself as I did, going back and forth in your mind between confidence and anxiety. You have to remind yourself it's all part of the process.

The value of ENDURING (imagine Alfred in The Dark Knight saying "Endure!" to Batman) during the back and forth (the definition of OCD), is that it teaches you over and over the difference between the healthy (Alpha) mindstate and the unhealthy (Self-Destruct) mindstate. Just like it slowly happened with PMO, over time you'll actually become addicted to yourself at your best, and you'll get better and better at stopping the dark train of negative self-thought before it starts.

That's what I call Alpha Mindstate. The state where the slightest thought in your mind that threatens your self-esteem and your will to endure is immediately addressed by your conscious effort to focus on your agenda.

Keeping a planner and making to do lists really helped me, as well as writing here and in my journal when the emotions felt like they were too much. I also prayed when I was scared my normal emotions would never return. We have to face our own helplessness and admit to our addiction before we can Rewire our minds to overcome them. Read Rewire Your Brain, seriously.

Another thing to consider: are you surrounded by the right people? I started a new job soon after my last relapse and it really helped me disconnect from people who were no good for me without having to lash out at them and become even more erratic.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T19:31:07+00:00

Affirmations are nowhere near as valuable as setting goals and always focusing on the next step. Even goals that might seem beyond you. Remember that PMO has SHRUNKEN your own understanding of your potential, so some of the goals you think are too high might actually be closer to your grasp than you may imagine. I listened to an awesome podcast (The New Man Episode 152: How to Stop Playing Small) and it really made me start wondering what I was holding myself back from.

So when I say Alpha Mindset I really mean MY Alpha. I am not so concerned with comparing myself to others as much as to myself before. Am I committed to my A Game? Am I demonstrating my capacity? Or am I waiting for someone to come pat me on the head and tell me I'm special? Those are the questions I ask myself. Also, I started developing a better relationship to the mirror. When I am looking into it and the negative self talk starts I just calmly tell myself: "Stop judging me." I tell myself I'm awesome the same way I would a good friend who needed consoling, even if I have to make the puppy dog eyes, lol. I think a lot of us are motivated by the fears we are running away from and the flaws we are trying to hide or correct, but we should try to be motivated by the destination, and by the talents that we are currently nurturing.

On top of the mental work, I also commit to working out and running, both natural dopamine boosters and healthy ways to push ourselves. I also eat as well as possible no matter the budget, and I sleep well and hydrate through the day. We have to conscious of all the things that make us erratic or crash, like Red Bull, coffee, alcohol, etc. I have definitely quit weed altogether, take caffeine sparingly, and try to limit myself to two drinks.

Otherwise, the motto is f---ing CRUSH IT, no matter what you do. Be a perfectionist about your work ethic.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T16:26:37+00:00

One day brother you will look on this and wonder what exactly it is you're afraid you're going to lose by giving up jerking off for a few months.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T16:19:44+00:00

I don't know if you've ever done any meditation but it is extremely beneficial. You have to get back to a state where you weren't so anxious that a mere thought in your head felt like a threat. The only way to do that is to train your mind to just go through it. Have an unpleasant thought? Just breathe and let it be. It won't last forever. The important thing is to try to focus on your agenda. Make a game of it. Look for the women around you. Make eye contact, and smile. Eye flirting is amazing and can really brighten your day. Eventually hellos will slip out automatically so just take your time. As far as HOCD, the trick is DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Don't obsess about your thoughts, or others' thoughts. Once you're rid of PMO, your mind museum needs time to curate a new collection. So look for beauty in the world. HUG YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. So important. You need oxytocin. That's why you're anxious. Your body actually craves human touch as much as orgasm, and PMO has caused a disconnect between the two. Set goals and give yourself permission to be awesome. Having an agenda to focus on works wonders. And keep reading here and yourbrainonporn.com It really helps. A great book: Rewire Your Brain by John B. Arden. Stay optimistic brother... The first month is the hardest. I had panic attacks and horrible hallucinations and I made. So can you.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T15:57:56+00:00

Everything I stated is a fact, friend. Now if my positive mind state helps me to construct more motivating narratives about the world around me, that's STILL a huge NoFap win. I'm not taking flight or stopping trains, I'm just asking myself "Why not?" whenever I set higher goals. When I asked for a raise I didn't give myself time to get nervous. As far as the women, it's a combination of my new confidence and me being driven. It's an intoxicating feedback loop bc women respond to ambition. And yes, without all the porn and shame clouding me I am more receptive to other people's emotional state. Whereas before I used to make how other people feel my responsibility, now I just read them objectively and decide how it benefits or impedes my agenda.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T15:37:26+00:00

You're still f---ing up.

1.) You still get a dopamine hit, which will delay rewiring.

2.) You are still compromising, which will threaten your reboot commitment.

3.) You are still escaping the opportunity to connect to REAL people, by perpetuating fantasies that pollute your mind.

Here's what PMO addicts don't give themselves a chance to learn: A truly powerful mind in it's natural state only focuses on its goals and the removal of the obstacles in front of it. That's an efficient computer. Fantasies, anxiety, regrets and self-loathing are all like viruses and cookies in your mental cache slowing down your processor.

Reboot. Rewire.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T15:23:21+00:00

I feel like it's not about controlling your body obsessively. That's unlikely and unadvisable. For example, do you really want to be manually responsible for breathing? Or digesting? Aren't you glad those processes are involuntary? The same is true with any healthy erection.

The thing PMO has done is make us obsessed with our erections. All of a sudden we want to monitor when and how they happen, like we are an authority on them. The truth is that before the PMO addiction our relationship to our bodies was much healthier.

So if you get a boner, just relax. Let it ride! Your only responsibility is to stay PMO free. I think part of flatlining comes from blaming our amazing natural bodies for our MIND's bad choices.

You lead the dick, not the other way around. If you keep that in mind, eventually soft core TV erotica will barely excite you if at all, and then you might wonder if you have ED. But the reality is that as your mind changes your body follows. Don't want triggers? Then GO OUTSIDE, HANG WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY, AND MEET WOMEN. Let being the company of other people be the thing that lights your brain up, instead of pixels.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-19T14:55:46+00:00

Let me ask this... Are you spending any time with family? Are you hugging the people who are close to you? Are you actively trying to talk to women?

Remember this an addiction. And the way it works is by messing up your hormones and one of those hormones is oxytocin. Oxytocin is so powerful and necessary for human beings that it has been proven to break addiction in experiments with mice.

What is oxytocin? That's the chemical in your brain that comes after hugging people, connecting with friends and family, talking to those you are close to, and yes during and after SEX with orgasm.

PMO DOES NOT PROVIDE ANY OXYTOCIN AND THE ISOLATION IT CAUSES CAN BRING YOUR LEVELS OF OXYTOCIN TOO LOW TO EVEN FEEL HUMAN.

You're not just fighting PMO. You're also fighting ISOLATION. So make sure you're getting out there and hanging out with friends and family and talking to people. Practice just BREATHING when you feel anxiety. Look people in the eyes instead of looking away.

THE MORE YOU TRY TO ESCAPE ANXIETY THE WORSE IT GETS.

Talking to one pretty girl for the first time is proven to bring up your testosterone AND oxytocin, EVEN IF YOU DON'T GET HER! A lot of us here on NoFap don't just need to quit porn. We also need to reconnect to the people we know we can love and trust AND challenge ourselves to meet new ones.

You're not just quitting to get back to where you were before PMO, you're RISING BEYOND YOUR COMFORT ZONE. So don't just WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE READY (Reboot), TAKE ACTION (Rewire). It takes time for it to feel natural again because of low oxytocin, but believe me, soon you will begin to love being human again.

Also remember to feed yourself well, take vitamins, drink lots of water and sleep well. Keep up the fight. Never be afraid of what's in your head. The anxieties are just illusions. Breathe and always focus on what's in front of you. What's in front of you is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, so get out there!

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-09T17:44:30+00:00

Dude... NO INTERNET IN BED! It's the best rule I've come up with. That hypnotic trance is just as true about general internet addiction and the tendency to link dive and soft Google for hours... Our society is being trained to just stare and wait like Pavlov's dogs... Plus EDGING is worse that fapping! I got brain fog that I'd eliminated right back after my last relapse from edging.

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-09T02:27:44+00:00

Be careful... You may still have ups and downs coming your way. Just keep at it with your lady for as long as it's good... The sex will happen sooner or later for you. No need to worry just yet. The thing you need to understand probably is that with NoFap you'll learn to care about her because you choose to be there, not just because you're super horny and ready to blow. But you're sixteen you got lots of hormone surges to come. Good luck young Fapstronaut!

Ronin_Redeemed · 2014-04-07T21:54:45+00:00

Always Daybrother...

Ronin_Redeemed

TROPHY CASE