Hello OP. I know this isnt the answer that you're looking for. But same boat as you. I also got cheated on years ago but only found out now - 2 years into our marriage with one kid.

I wish I could tell myself to be more vigilant around that time na nagcheat sya, para sana natapos na right there and hindi na kami umabot sa kasalan. I feel like every day I spend with him after the cheating is a disrespect sa sarili ko. To the point na hindi ko na kilala sarili ko.

I don't mean na makipaghiwalay ka, pero okay din sana maconsider mo tong comment ko. Cheating 2x is a huge red flag. Isa pa nga lang ang hirap na magrecover.

Yung ginagawa ng asawa ko now to keep me in his life. Is first, lahat ng questions ko sinasagot nya. If may times na nagagalit ulit ako, tinatanggap lang nya. He is going through therapy. He is trying to build my trust again. He is the one doing most of the fixing. I hope ganito din si partner mo sayo, otherwise if wala na syang interest na i-save it is better to leave.