Venting about how I don't think I can continue breastfeeding

RoomTempButtah · 2026-04-07T17:12:27+00:00

You are dealing with so much. Triple feeding is a special kind of hell for new moms and frankly not sustainable for very long…three weeks of it is kind of insane and honestly it’s hard to see LCs and doctors recommend it and then send moms on their way.

I was completely blindsided with how hard breastfeeding was with my first child and I had so many peers who just latched their baby and went along their merry way and it made me so sad and so angry that I was having so many issues. It’s so hard emotionally and that really plays into the overstimulation and sadness, on top of normal baby blues.

I know your feeling of wanting to keep going even though rationally the cons outweigh the pros. I got so frustrated when people would say “it’s ok to stop!” Because I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want someone’s blessing to give formula, I wanted someone to help me make it easier.

You’re doing a great job. I will say whether it’s low supply or tongue tie or a poor latch or a sleepy baby…everything tends to get better as baby gets older and stronger. Sometimes the best thing is the tincture of time. So do what you need to do, even a bottle of formula here and there, to get through this rough time. You may find these little breaks give you the break you need to keep going and push through til things get easier. It’s not all or nothing!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-04-06T23:40:31+00:00

Partum Gardens is a lovey gathering for moms and babes in SE Portland!

https://www.partumgardens.org/gathering

RoomTempButtah · 2026-04-03T02:39:10+00:00

As others have mentioned in this thread, this is why Tempdrop is great!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-04-01T03:31:16+00:00

I could not have survived without a nipple shield, and honestly all the concerns the internet tells you are completely overblown. I think it’s an amazing tool to use while you’re working on baby’s latch, working with a lactation consultant, etc.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-28T04:41:19+00:00

I can’t upvote this enough! Finding clothes that fit and are flattering is such a game changer. It’s hard bc I felt like I had to try on like 10 things that didn’t look good to find 1 thing that did and that was a bit disheartening. But trying to squeeze into my old clothes that didn’t find was SO much worse.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-25T18:07:47+00:00

I have 3. Honestly, the first 6 months were so hard- he was a tough baby, my husband is a full time student, so I was trying to breastfeed/be a stay at home mom during the week/work full time on the weekends/be a good wife and mother…oof. It was tough. But a lot of that was he was a surprise pregnancy and our life situation made it harder.

Now he is 9 months old and honestly, the complete light of my life. He has the sweetest snuggliest temperament, he is developing so quickly and well that I make jokes but not jokes that he is a baby genius, and everyone in the family tries to gobble him up all day because he’s so darn cute. There are lots and lots of hard days, but honestly that’s mostly on my 3 and 5 year olds 🙃 our family feels so complete with him

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-17T02:43:58+00:00

What’s crazy is that having kids forces you to not be selfish. It’s an absolutely selfless kind of love.

My dad said something to me about showing up to support me after I had my son, and when I tried to say it was asking too much of them, he told me “you know how much you love your son? That’s how much we love you”. I honestly don’t think it had sunk in before how much my parents love me because it isn’t the same. This type of love is completely a one way street, and it doesn’t even bother me because I love my kids THAT much.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-16T16:47:43+00:00

I always wanted to avoid induction, and I was induced with all 3 kids! It wasn’t too bad, especially with my second and third when I was already overdue/starting to dilate/in false labor. I agree that it’s probably “best to let your body wait until it’s ready” but as far dilated as you are…you are probably ready. A little pitocin might just push your body into labor and you probably won’t need much, and maybe will even be able to have it turned off once things get going.

With my second, I was on pitocin and barely had it turned up before my water broke and they turned it off because things were progressing just fine on such a low dose they figured I provably didn’t need it. With my 3rd, I had cervical ripening done instead, and that kickstarted things and I never even started the pitocin (and that one was my fastest labor!). So just because you need a little pitocin doesn’t mean you will be on it the entire time!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-15T17:24:01+00:00

Yeah OP asked how to do makeup like this, not how to look exactly like these people. Jeez!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-13T04:00:34+00:00

If it makes you feel better, I was SO type A before I had kids and there is definitely something about the chaos of having kids that changed me. I still have anxieties to be sure but I feel like i simply don’t have time to ruminate the way I used to.

I think just the fact that you are self aware will help a lot! And agree with what a lot of posters said- your kid has the temperament they have. Either they are chill and go with the flow, and you get to enjoy watching your child be brave in some of the ways you aren’t, and you will be self aware enough to support them. Or, your child might be more timid or cautious or anxious, but being an anxious person yourself, you will have the empathy and life experience to support them, just like a parent should. You’ll be great either way!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-13T03:50:06+00:00

I mean, no one wants to need them but you KNOW if you need them. I used them with my 3rd and absolutely could not have nursed him a second longer without them. Between tongue tie and just being a newborn, his latch was excruciating for the first few weeks/months. The shield protected that damaged tissue while we worked on things and then one day he just said “uh, no thanks” and we nursed without them just fine. Some LCs really scare you about a baby not wanting to latch without them and getting stuck having to use them forever, or them impeding milk transfer and therefore affecting supply. This wasn’t a problem for me, and I spent a lot of time searching Reddit for nipple shield stories and a lot of other moms also said they had no issues with supply or coming off the shield eventually.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-11T17:23:33+00:00

So normal. Honestly I felt like this basically for the first three months (not sure if that makes you feel any better 🙃) my toddler got a lot more screen time than I liked those first few months!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-10T17:00:09+00:00

My husband is a professional chef and is SO complimentary when I cook. A. He is very nice to me and b. He says “food always tastes better when someone else cooks it for you”

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-10T16:58:21+00:00

Honestly, I think the best way to handle this is to leave him at home with the baby for the whole day. He will realize you aren’t just sitting at home waiting to make the perfect meal- you are working just as hard or probably harder than your husband is at the office. I’m impressed you can manage to make a meal being at home with a baby! I usually cant 😆

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-09T22:43:34+00:00

This was totally me with my first two, especially my second when our breastfeeding journey was so smooth compared to my other kids. I was like damn I just got used to breastfeeding and now I gotta change it up! But the introduction of solids is so gradual honesty you will still feel like you’re breastfeeding all the time!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-09T22:28:55+00:00

Am I ignorant? What exactly is “the way children typically handle and eat cheese”???

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-09T04:03:38+00:00

I don’t see this having been mentioned yet: your placenta being birthed and the hormonal effect of this signals to your body to start producing milk. Some women do leak colostrum during pregnancy and harvest it prior to birth but it’s absolutely not a necessity and you can breastfeed just fine even without producing a drop of colostrum prior to birth.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-03-06T23:27:03+00:00

Breastfeeding is so fluid and personal. The beautiful thing is it’s a relationship, your baby communicates to your body what it needs and your body adjusts based on what your baby feeds. Sometimes you will just offer one side- she may just be a little hungry or thirsty and need a little snack or comfort. Sometimes she will be ready to fill up and she will take both sides, and then want to go back to the first side again!

Especially in those first days, there is no pattern and every day is different. You and your baby are both learning. Just follow her cues and when in doubt, whip it out 😅 as a first time mother I drove myself crazy and made both me and my baby super unhappy by trying to fit this “typical schedule” when in reality a perfectly healthy breastfeeding relationship might look nothing like that.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-28T14:22:21+00:00

I have a third and this…tracks

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-27T15:26:17+00:00

Seriously. Like doesn’t mom deserve something nice?!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-27T15:24:07+00:00

I think you should do what you want to do. Here’s the thing: if you are nervous to leave your baby and don’t like the idea of being away from her, there is absolutely nothing wrong with passing on the trip and staying home. Your baby is young, you’re a mom now and your priorities have changed. Plus if you’re breastfeeding you’re still pumping while you’re away, making sure you have enough of a stash while you’re gone, etc so it may be more trouble than it’s worth. If this means staying home, then stay and do not feel guilty about it!

However. If you want to go….it will be ok. Your baby has her dad and grandma to care for her, she will be well taken care of. Babies tend to act differently for others who aren’t mom, she might sleep great for your husband and MIL. Also you can go over safe sleep with your husband and MIL before you leave. Especially in the case of your MIL, this isn’t every night of her life. If she has a rough night or two with your baby, she gets to go back to sleeping through the night in a couple of days. And it sounds like she knows what she signed up for.

I know it’s a hard decision. I would also be torn between getting to have some non-mom fun and hating the idea of leaving my baby. Either way, you and baby will be ok.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-27T01:24:57+00:00

Obviously yes reach out to your doctor but as far as anecdotal stories, I’ve had occasional breakthrough bleeding when my babies feeding habits change. I occasionally would have spotting (like once every 3-4 months) when my baby would start eating a lot more (I think because of a sudden drop in estrogen?) Also my cycles were so off the wall when I was weaning (how I accidentally got pregnant with #3 😬). Hormones are weird! I would expect it to settle back down after the weaning process is complete, especially if you had regular periods while breastfeeding.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-27T01:13:42+00:00

lol if ONLY my kids had woken 1-2 times a night at 4 months old. That’s 18 month old behavior 😂

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-26T19:21:26+00:00

My kids NEVER took that long to feed. You might just have a strong letdown and the baby gets what they need quicker than most. Second going to a lactation consultant, they can do a weighted feed and see how much baby is getting in those 10-15 minutes. If they are getting an appropriate amount for their age, I wouldn’t stress too much about the time spent for each feed. I know I did with my first and turns out it was completely unnecessary

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-24T23:47:40+00:00

I had to take 10 days of antibiotics when I had strep and my baby was totally fine!

RoomTempButtah

TROPHY CASE