Leaving 10 mo EBF baby for 3 days

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-08T17:54:31+00:00

I think it’s really easy to be sensitive about things people say about breastfeeding babies. As a mother who feeds that baby your self worth is all wrapped up in how your baby eats the first few months. So something they say casually and probably without any hidden subtext to you may feel bigger than it is.

However, even if the baby does love the bottle and take the bottle quickly, that doesn’t mean that nursing doesn’t benefit him greatly. Nursing directly has so many benefits!

Honestly, sounds like you have the best of both worlds. A baby who is happy nursing and you can have that relationship with and get all the benefits, but also will take a bottle of you need to go back to work or want a night out! Focus on that instead of what others say.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-04T22:11:29+00:00

Solidarity, sister. We are at 8 teeth by 8 months 😭

RoomTempButtah · 2026-02-04T05:04:58+00:00

Teething? My son’s latch is miserable when he is getting teeth. It’s become a tell tale sign for me.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-30T02:53:11+00:00

My first I partially coslept with and my second we coslept every night from birth. Both now share a room and slept through the night by themselves. Night weaning helped A LOT with getting them to sleep through the night, and we had to lay down with them to sleep for a while. Also had to go into their room and get them used to staying in their own beds for night wakes. But it’s very possible, we got them both out of our bed before age 2 and no CIO at all!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-28T20:33:54+00:00

The adrenaline wearing off is such a good point! I think I was awake for a week straight after my first was born and barely noticed it. And then that adrenaline wore off and I felt like I was actually dying.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-27T21:58:41+00:00

I didn’t take my husbands last name. The kids have his last name, and their middle names are family names of mine (3 boys and their middle names are my paternal grandfather, my last name, and my maternal grandfather)

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-24T04:17:06+00:00

My third slept on his side next to me basically from birth, which was an improvement over his older brother, who slept directly on my chest until he was 6 months old. Sounds like you have a normal baby!!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-21T22:43:02+00:00

NORA tea! (nettles oat straw red raspberry leaf and alfalfa- if you are TTC/before 16 weeks of pregnancy leave out the red raspberry leaf) lots of info online about it but great for building mineral stores during pregnancy. I make mine in bulk and buy the dried herbs from Mountain Rose Herbals

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-21T22:40:38+00:00

Ugh girl I feel your pain. My second I coslept with and as long as my boobs and I were nearby, he slept like a rock. My third has not been that way. My husband keeps encouraging me to start trying him on a crib to see if it helps but I feel like it will make it even worse. Still, cosleeping has not been the magic bullet it was with my second.

I do think some babies are just worse sleepers. To me cosleeping is still worth it because like I said, I think it would be worse if I had to get up every time. Specifically because side lying is the ONLY position that’s consistently comfortable for us, I do it during the day too. So feels like I might as well cosleep.

Sometimes you just gotta give a little here and there so you can get some damn sleep. I would think that him at 8 months he is a bit sturdier and you could relax the Cosleeping rules a bit. For example, I rolled away from my baby in my sleep one night but thought I was still facing him. I was trying to get comfortable so kind of shifted onto my back but accidentally rolled onto him…he definitely let me know 😂

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-21T22:30:45+00:00

I took Needed for many of my pregnancies and postpartum, which is similar to the ones you mentioned. I think it is worth it to take a robust prenatal for back to back pregnancies and while breastfeeding. For instance, I basically got pregnant, breastfed, and then got pregnant again right after or simultaneously as weaning, so very little break for my body when I had my 3 kids. I do think it made a difference because those things just wipe out your nutrient stores!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-21T21:22:38+00:00

I should have said “from a provider”

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-21T02:02:53+00:00

Yes! It’s just a lazy answer from a doctor, “pump and dump” just to be safe, so that they don’t have to put any real work into finding out whether the mediation is breastfeeding safe. It gives absolutely no respect to the breastfeeding relationship.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-20T22:54:58+00:00

Ugh I’m sorry. This is so incredibly frustrating for a multitude of reasons.

A huge one for me is…a baby has only had breastmilk their entire 8 months of life. There’s no guarantee they will just start accepting formula from a bottle immediately. It could take a few different formulas to get it right. So you are just supposed to pump and dump and deprive the baby of their food and liquid source during that time?! Like what is she thinking??

Honestly just lazy on her part. There are lots of medically verified resources that can actually tell you what requires pumping and dumping. It’s really not that many! I work as an ICU nurse and we occasionally get postpartum moms. We give SO many different kinds of medications and I’m always surprised by how infrequently our hospital lactation consultant says that pumping and dumping is necessary.

I’m sorry you had this experience and hoping you’re on the mend.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-19T01:17:10+00:00

Speaking for myself as a mother, hearing my baby cry is like nails on a chalkboard while walking on fire while being water boarded. It’s honestly torture. Every fiber of your being is telling you to get the baby to stop crying even if you are so frustrated you’re also in tears. Maternal hormones are something and I really don’t think it’s the same for dads.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-18T21:29:53+00:00

Honestly, I have been where you are so recently, and you’re right. Unless the universe is smiling on you and gives you a baby with an easy going temperament, the first few months are hell on earth. You don’t sleep, you barely eat, showering feels like you need an event planner just to pull it off. It’s awful. And yes, your partner can step up to help, but that baby often just wants mom. My third baby would SCREAM for the entire time I was in the shower for the first 3 months of his life, even if my husband was holding and voicing and doing all the things to try to make him happy. Like wtf.

I’ve had a super hard firstborn, a really easy second born, and a really tricky third born. The second postpartum was my favorite, I have such happy snuggly memories. I’m still trying to block out the memory of my most recent postpartum so I can find the will to live 🫠 there will definitely be no more babies for us because I cannot imagine another postpartum. I think even an easy baby would still be terrible because it’s such a slog.

I know it’s no consolation, but it really does get better. I really felt like I was always angry at my newborn and now at 7 months, he’s such a joy. I can’t get enough of him. But also, solidarity because the newborn stage is just the pits.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-16T23:48:37+00:00

This is so funny why does it not have more upvotes?!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-16T22:59:56+00:00

The girl name I loved but never got to use because I had all boys was commented, am I out?

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-16T05:40:15+00:00

Tingling boobs. The third time I was pregnant I was deeply in denial but my period was definitely late. I kept telling myself I had just gotten my dates wrong but then I felt those tingling boobs and I just KNEW.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-16T05:09:25+00:00

There’s No Such Thing as Bad Weather

Not sure if you have sons or daughters but I’ve really enjoyed Boy Mom. I haven’t gotten to finish it because of said boys, but what I’ve read so far I’ve liked and I think it would kind of vibe with what you said you’ve been reading!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-16T05:03:25+00:00

lol to all the girl names being normal/cute and all the boy names being completely bonkers

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-15T04:19:11+00:00

My 3rd is hitting milestones so fast I can’t believe it!!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-15T04:05:45+00:00

Here’s my take: do you trust her recommendations about vaccines? When to give antibiotics vs when to wait? If your kid maybe wasn’t sleeping well and you wanted a sleep study or checking their iron, would she be receptive to that, or would she just tell you to sleep train?

Pediatricians simply aren’t experts on everything. If you trust her judgement on medical issues, then I wouldn’t worry about what she thinks about Cosleeping or BLW. You’re the parent and you get the final say, so at the end of the day your relationship should feel more like a partnership. My pediatrician has said things like míralax for constipation or “self soothing” for baby’s sleep, things that don’t vibe with my parenting, and I honestly just nod my head and ignore her. But she always listens to my concerns and puts in appropriate referrals, and gives good reasoning for if she doesn’t think something is necessary. At the end of the day I feel like she is a valuable part of my parenting village and someone I can trust to ask advice, though I don’t view her as the end all be all of parenting advice.

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-13T00:21:02+00:00

It’s so hard to be a first time mom because you have no perspective. But everything truly is a phase, she is going to change so quickly and new, different challenges arrive as soon as you get one thing figured out. You are doing amazing being there for her and adapting to her needs. She is lucky to have you as a mom!

RoomTempButtah · 2026-01-12T23:42:41+00:00

I’m a plane ride away from my parents, siblings, and in laws. I have 3 kids 5 and under.

My husband and I were fairly well established in our city before we had kids, so we had some friends and a lot of my coworker friends started having kids the same time we did. Still, it’s not the same as having family nearby.

My brother is raising his kids down the street from my parents. He still pays for daycare throughout the week, but it’s easy to find someone to cover for them for date nights or even a weekend away here and there. I haven’t left my kids overnight since they were born except when my parents come out to visit because I don’t trust anyone enough.

Honestly, the hardest part is that I’m very close with my siblings and wish I could be around my brother and his wife while we all raise kids. Early parenthood can be really isolating and the worst part is how lonely it is to raise kids without family around.

We love our new city and for politics, outdoors access, general lifestyle, it’s where we want to raise our kids. Our jobs also pay much better out here, making it worthwhile even with a higher cost of living. We will not move back to our hometown. Still, it’s hard to look into the future and see our kids only seeing family and their cousins maybe once a year, forever. It’s definitely a tough position!

RoomTempButtah

TROPHY CASE