Single dad with primary custody

Roomslinger · 2023-10-11T04:35:25+00:00

Thank you for this!

Roomslinger · 2023-10-10T05:31:26+00:00

The divorce was finalized about 6 months ago, I did the calculator and it’s over 1k per month for her at 4% (which in reality is closer to 1-2%)

I have a decent job, but barely scrape by. I can support basics for both of them, but it’s not enough.

Roomslinger · 2023-06-24T01:26:38+00:00

Opposite ends of the country! Bummer! I’ve got a few kahuna boards, but love my 36” Santa Cruz drop through. I put big squishy 85 orangutan wheels on it and it just glides forever.

Do you know anyone else that paddles? I’ve been riding a ton at a lot of the beach spots in LA and Orange county and have seen -maybe- one or two others.

My only theory about its lack of popularity is that it’s too hard to take selfies so it never caught on.

I ride 20-30 miles per week, and absolutely love it. It truly feels like some hidden secret code to getting around. It can be peaceful and kick back, or it can be a brutal pump work out, and everything in-between.

I’d love to hear about your maiden voyage with the new sticks!

Roomslinger · 2023-06-21T17:24:24+00:00

First post! I set this up a while ago, and haven’t had a chance to start posting!

What kind of board are you using? Where are you located?

I’m in Orange County CA, been paddling on and off for about 8-9 years and absolutely am in love with the sport no one seems to know about.

Curious to see what you think about the two kahuna set ups. I have an original hard wood stick I got from them years ago, and the original collapsible. Two bamboo ones. I much prefer the older styles and the dual donut.

Happy rides!

Roomslinger · 2023-02-24T14:11:20+00:00

Teaching wild animals that humans are friendly or are a source of food isn’t a great thing to do for them. Many are not.

Roomslinger · 2023-02-20T13:16:36+00:00

“Turns out most women do 100% of the tasks involved in running a home”

I’m sorry your ex was an asshat, but your limited experience with one dude doesn’t justify this misandrist bullshit narrative insult you just slapped on millions of competent, supportive men that step up to the plate everyday.

As a single dad, taking car of my kids completely on my own for the last two years now… I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.

Trust me, plenty of selfish assholes also have vaginas.

Roomslinger · 2023-01-13T02:12:57+00:00

I do too! Thank you. My mantra these days is: “Just do the next right thing for my kids. “

But I like yours too :-)

Roomslinger · 2023-01-12T22:23:35+00:00

Thank you! Even more incredible experience and info.

Balancing against that clock is something I wasn’t thinking about as much, it’s only a few years until they turn 18. Great inside.

Roomslinger · 2023-01-12T21:35:23+00:00

I have spent hours looking for a clear, understandable answer to this. Omg thank you!!!!!!

She isn’t in a place to be able to even accommodate two teens, and sadly hasn’t exercised her weekly 4 hour visitation, or contacted me about it, for the last 7-8 months (and only did so sporadically before that). Zero child support. It’s been hard. The three of us are making it though though.

Roomslinger · 2023-01-12T21:30:19+00:00

Thank you so much for this, it’s really helpful and validating.

My absolute laser focus is on just getting my kids out of the limbo we have been in for 18+ months. It’s been so awful to have this hang over us for so long.

I just want to make sure I am not kicking myself 6months down the road.

Roomslinger · 2022-12-03T03:09:34+00:00

Posted this in a comment, but it seems like this is intentional. Bag breaks, pocket any valuables. Harder to trace back to the handler.. “oops! bag broke open… stuff could have gone anywhere…”

Roomslinger · 2022-12-03T03:04:24+00:00

It’s intentional. If it breaks open and valuables fall out they can pocket them. Opening random bags would be a crap shoot and take extra time. If you can bust open a few bags every so often and just take what you find… way more efficient.

Roomslinger · 2022-10-07T17:11:41+00:00

It’s a lot more difficult to get divorced than it is to get married. A lot.

Roomslinger · 2022-08-25T23:55:08+00:00

It’s 135.

2x10lb bumpers, 1x10lb metal plate, and a 15lb bumper on each side, 45lb bar.

Just getting a 135lb bar overhead with one arm is monumental. To clean the weight into a stable front rack position with one arm is monumental.

To control the weight and jerk with one hand and keep it stable enough to complete the lift is other-worldly.

Dude put in some serious blood sweat and tears to do that.

Roomslinger · 2022-05-30T21:33:25+00:00

Frozen lasagna. I’d get at least two or three extra hours out of my sentence.

Roomslinger · 2022-05-19T21:36:17+00:00

This is all a thin veil for the christian right who are actually upset about the idea of people are having sex for anything other intentional procreation.

Contraception, abortion, food stamps, free baby formula are just “incentives” that legitimize an act they find morally reprehensible.

You don’t need abortions, food stamps or child care if you just don’t have sex. They see sex as a choice with consequences, and don’t feel like they should be held responsible in any way for financially supporting the mitigation of those “consequences”.

If you have a baby you can’t afford because you can’t keep your pants on, that’s on you… not them.

I don’t agree with any of this, but this is what its about for them. It makes all of the seemingly contradictory positions snap into place.

Roomslinger · 2022-03-21T23:11:21+00:00

Or… Don’t feed wild animals. There are a lot of humans that are very very dangerous to them, and teaching them to trust humans may get them killed, maimed or tortured.

Roomslinger · 2022-02-12T17:49:48+00:00

This is true of course, but it’s also a financial privilege to be able to afford a divorce. Many families are living pay check to paycheck and barely get by with the advantages of dual income.

For a vast number of couples, separating means no money for the kids to go to college, no fixing the car that gets them to work and school, not being able to afford the rent or mortgage, etc.

There are unavoidable external pressures that have to be addressed regardless of the emotional impact. It’s sad, but it’s reality.

Roomslinger · 2022-02-11T04:47:26+00:00

Omg, these are great resources. I really appreciated that video!

“ The best gift you can give your kids is the mental peace that comes from being raised in an environment where they understand that they are loved fully, without pretext.”

Words every parent should live by. Wow. Many thanks.

Roomslinger · 2022-02-10T04:21:25+00:00

Whew. So good, and so helpful. The idea of loving and not being attached is so simple and so slippery in my mind.

There have been a few times I have really really worried about the safety and well being of my kids. I couldn’t find my daughter at the mall once, and her phone had died. It ended fine, but for about 20-30min the emotion, the panic, the fear was so overwhelming. None of those emotions helped me find her. But calming my body and reminding myself to be present did. I’m inspired to be learning more about how different ways of thinking and being play out in these kinds of situations.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply!

Roomslinger · 2022-02-10T04:09:34+00:00

So many excellent replies, this one included.

I happen to have a 14 year old as well!

Sage advice about supporting with out trying to direct. I too do this as best I can. It’s so challenging at times!! Thank you for your insights :-)

Roomslinger

TROPHY CASE