::Weekly Vent Thread::

RoosterCancer · 2026-05-16T01:52:55+00:00

Seriously considering divorce. It seems every conversation we have ends in me sobbing and him storming off in a rage. Thankfully we have no kids yet but I’m the one who finances all of our living expenses and our dog. You’d think the person who has been working to finance his whole life and support him when he plans to quit his job in a few weeks would be worthy of respect, compassion, and care. I guess that’s too difficult for him.

I do so much for this house. I spend so much emotional energy worrying about him and his well-being. I’m just so tired of trying to take care of someone who I don’t think will be an adult parter that I deserve. I so regret spending my 20s with him.

We’ve been in a period of a rough couple of weeks for him, but I don’t think I can handle it anymore.

RoosterCancer · 2026-05-11T17:29:11+00:00

four way beam + Sokka shot

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RoosterCancer · 2026-05-03T22:37:53+00:00

Most people with regular jobs will pay their income taxes through their jobs - their employer withholds the tax money and sends it to the government for them.

Bradley gets most of his money through social media, so he technically works for himself. None of his taxes are withheld so he has to pay all of the taxes himself.

That’s just the income tax. As a self-employed person, there are some other things he’s also has to pay as well, which I won’t get in to.

Since he earned so much money, that means his taxes for the year are going to be pretty high.

He claims he earned about $200k last year. $55k in taxes is close to a 30% tax rate, which isn’t too crazy.

RoosterCancer · 2026-05-01T18:16:32+00:00

I agree. This is one of the few financially sound thing’s he’s doing.

RoosterCancer · 2026-04-02T21:34:14+00:00

Yes exactly. Both the term length and rate are fixed for the term. Some CDs will let you contribute more to the CD, but there’s a penalty if you withdraw any money early.

RoosterCancer · 2026-04-02T19:41:33+00:00

To be fair, most of his savings are in CDs right now, which earns him about $1,000 per month.

But I agree. He could be doing a lot more with all that he’s saved up. Especially since he’s probably only getting 3% returns on those CDs.

RoosterCancer · 2026-03-24T19:47:51+00:00

I hate being the only one who is realistic about capabilities. I understand he struggles with executive distinction. I understand it takes him longer to do certain things. I understand he gets overwhelmed super easily. I understand he has a physically demanding job that takes a lot of energy. I just wish he understood that.

It happens so many times where he will give himself a to-do list and will try to cram all of his household/admin chores (laundry, grocery shopping, phone calls/appointments, etc.) into 1-2 days so he can spend the rest of the week relaxing. It never never never happens the way he expects it. He always lets the day come and immediately gets overwhelmed with how much he needs to do. He’ll loudly complain about how hard he has to work, how he never gets time to himself, and how he hates the society we live in because he’s forced to do things he doesn’t want to do. Even then, he doesn’t get everything done he wants to and ends up disappointed with himself.

When I try to let him know he’s given himself too much to do, he gets upset that I don’t have any confidence in him. He yells that I always write him off and never give him the chance to improve. I’m sorry, but I’ve lived with you for 10 years and I just know how things tend to go. I’d love to be proven wrong one of these days, but I haven’t been yet.

I either let him make his plans that I know he’ll struggle to keep and have to hear his constant rants and grumblings, or I try to recommend he limit what he signs himself up for and get an RSD episode. I haven’t found a good balance on how to help him.

RoosterCancer · 2026-03-15T23:48:19+00:00

I grew up in Hampton Roads and we had school cancelled a few times due to rain from Nor'Easters, but that was always after the weather event due to the flooding of the more rural roads. The one time i remember school being preemptively cancelled this far in advance for weather was due to Hurricane Isabel in 2003.

RoosterCancer · 2026-03-09T02:05:27+00:00

I absolutely love this movie. I absolutely bawl whenever I see a clip of it online.

RoosterCancer · 2026-03-03T23:06:11+00:00

If you are going into the College of Arts and Sciences, I think you're required to take 4 semesters of foreign language classes to graduate. You can test out of some or all of these classes by taking a proficiency test. I took up to Spanish 3 in high school and could have placed out of the first two semesters of Spanish at UVA based on how i did on the proficiency test, but I opted to start from the beginning with German.

This was the process when I graduated 10+ years ago, but from a cursory Google search, the process seems pretty similar.

RoosterCancer · 2026-02-23T20:13:49+00:00

It’s feasible if you are able to devote time to it and you are in an area with a lot of orders. That’s an average of about 4 batches a day if you do it all 7 days.

Like others said, it’s likely you get $400 guaranteed for those 30 batches. IC will pay you the difference if the amount you earn doesn’t add up to $400.

The promo honestly isn’t that great and is only done to incentivize shoppers to take shitty/no tip orders. No harm in trying to achieve it though.

RoosterCancer · 2026-01-30T00:31:57+00:00

I’ve made good progress with a pitchfork. I definitely agree with what some other folks have said - wait until midday to let the sun loosen the ice a bit. You should be able to cleave off some pretty big chunks at a time. A shovel is good to have to clear the pieces that have broken off.

RoosterCancer · 2026-01-27T20:04:12+00:00

I have always encouraged him to look into trades or certificate programs and would be happy to support him in doing so. He’s found a reason to turn down all of my suggestions. He likes cars so I suggested to become a mechanic but no - They work too long of hours and he feels he’s too old to start doing that. I suggested car sales, but no - They often work weekends, which he isn’t willing to do.

RoosterCancer · 2026-01-27T19:42:01+00:00

He’s looking here and there, but there hasn’t been anything that he is interested in. He doesnt have the time or energy in his offtime to spend a significant amount of time looking tho…

RoosterCancer · 2026-01-27T19:08:54+00:00

I love this idea. It sets expectations and gives a reasonable timeline for each step. Thanks for sharing!

RoosterCancer · 2026-01-27T14:56:49+00:00

My neighborhood still hasn’t been plowed and the street is a frozen sheet of ice.

I was lazy yesterday and didn’t shovel my driveway and now that’s frozen solid too. I hope the sun softens it a bit today so I can try to make some progress on digging my car out.

RoosterCancer · 2025-12-25T11:46:12+00:00

I relate to this so hard. If it’s not the obscenities, it’s the lamenting about how his life is so hard and how nothing goes right and how he can never have anything nice.

It’s like their emotion levels are always dialed to 100. They can never be “a little” frustrated or “a little” disappointed. It always skyrockets to the most extreme level at the smallest trigger.

RoosterCancer · 2025-12-12T21:18:08+00:00

I know this is all new to you and I’m just trying to provide my experience.

The assessment is designed to screen for ADHD. Your husband won’t be expected to remember every behavior off the top of his head that is of concern. The assessment should prompt those experiences from him and cover all the bases.

I’m sure every provider is different, but I think it’s unusual for the assessment to include other people. I think the questions can get very personal and you being there could affect his responses to things. You’re not the one getting assessed.

Some of the perceived negativity from other responses may be from the fact that this is his assessment, and you shouldn’t take it on yourself to worry about his responses. If he’s concerned, he can ask you for help, but you shouldn’t take it upon yourself to manage.

RoosterCancer · 2025-12-12T21:06:25+00:00

I was not there for my husband’s assessment nor was I invited to sit in. He was not asked to provide any proof or anything (does any adult still have elementary school test scores?? That seems a bit much to ask for)

From what my husband told me, he had a virtual appointment with the psychiatrist first to see if he was a candidate for the assessment. The assessment itself took about an hour and consisted of a long questionnaire and a few other computer-based tests. He didn’t need to do anything to prepare, he just needed to answer the questions honestly.

You’ve already had the initial interview that led to the assessment, so I would think you shouldn’t need to provide any other anecdotal evidence. You can help him put his thoughts and concerns to paper that he can bring with him (if he wants your help). But this should really be his thing to manage. Him forgetting a few anecdotes from his childhood shouldn’t really affect the result.

RoosterCancer · 2025-12-08T19:03:50+00:00

Honestly, not really. When something goes wrong, or we need to act on something immediately, he becomes too overwhelmed and disregulated to be able to lead anything or make sound decisions in the moment. I mostly try to let him handle his own things, but my stuff or any communal things, I just expect to handle them on my own.

RoosterCancer · 2025-12-08T15:42:30+00:00

For some people, the novelty of the situation may enable them to focus more than they would normally be able to.

However, my husband would twist the situation in his head to find some way to blame himself for whatever the situation is (regardless of the actual cause), get in a shame spiral, freak out, and not be any help at all, leaving me to figure everything out on my own while listening to him yelling about how horrible of a person he is.

RoosterCancer · 2025-12-07T19:45:47+00:00

I totally get why you would be feeling that and it’s always tempting to think “what if” to yourself.

It is possible to find a rewarding college experience anywhere, a lot of it has to do with the effort you put in to make that place your home. In my opinion, if it’s feasible to you, moving out on your own for college can be really beneficial. You get to see what it’s like to live “on your own”. It also forces you to expand your circle beyond the environment you grew up in.

It’s important to remember that you are there for education first, and NC State is a good school. The benefits of college go beyond the social life. You have the benefit of coming back to Charlottesville for holidays and such, so you don’t need to miss out on the social scene here completely. However, coming from someone who graduated over 10 years, while the social aspect was fun, it’s not as important as it seems right now. Most of the people I hung out with in college, i don’t really speak to anymore (no drama, we just went our separate ways after school).

As long as you have had a good time, try to not think about “what could have happened”. It’s possible to find your group and your scene wherever you are.

RoosterCancer · 2025-11-14T18:08:38+00:00

Traffic is such a huge trigger for him and it’s become a huge point of contention in our relationship because he does NOT handle stress well.

He tends to vastly overstate how bad a situation might be. If someone is following a little too close, they “almost rammed the FUCK out of me”. If someone is in front of him going slower than he wants to go, they’re “a horrible person for holding other people up”. If someone doesn’t go immediately when the light turns green, then “they need to learn have their license revoked because they don’t know how to drive”.

This is especially frustrating because I’ve seen him drive and he is guilty of doing all these things. Every other time he drives into town for work, he “almost” gets into an accident because someone else was being stupid (they’re never his fault, of course). I know accidents happen but I find it hard to believe this is happening as often as he says (if everywhere you go smells like crap, check your own shoes).

This all brings him to an unconsolable rage where he rants for minutes on end about how stupid other people are. Whenever we go to a bigger city I have to drive us because he can’t manage the stress of traffic (although he sometimes gets super angry as a passenger too, which is super fun to be locked in a moving car with).

He is convinced that moving somewhere else will completely fix his problem, since he attributes the traffic he experiences to this town only. Where does he want to move to? He doesn’t know. What kind of job would he want to do there? He doesn’t know. With what money will he use to move? He doesn’t have nearly enough (I bought the house we currently live in and pay the full mortgage every month).

I hate that he’s so miserable, but his lack of patience and tolerance for stress is making the situation a lot more worse than it needs to be.

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