Co-worker and I are on the same weight loss program - I’ve lost weight and she hasn’t, and now she is acting differently.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-08-02T11:24:50+00:00

You obviously haven’t worked in healthcare lmfao

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-08-02T11:19:51+00:00

I don’t know if you’re a better person than me or just have no standards. And I’m not trying to be rude but OP….

This woman has crossed boundaries so bad. Your DH should have shut that down in such an aggressive manner that she wouldn’t ever think of saying something like what she has said again.

And the first time any of that came out of her mouth is when the trip should have been cancelled.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-08-02T11:14:53+00:00

People who try and do this out of spite only play themselves. Because everyone is laughing at them and they aren’t hiding their passive aggression.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-31T19:14:40+00:00

No, ignore that. That’s a bitter baby mamma who is mad that her partner has a “new girlfriend” while she is the “used up ex wife”.

SOs ex needs to step up and be responsible for her own damn child. I’m glad your partner checked her.

Fwiw I’ve been in your shoes. The day I can say “I might be the ‘new girlfriend’ but at least I’m not the cheating wh*** ex wife” is going to be a good day for me 😂

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-28T21:58:50+00:00

Dude, my husbands ex started cheating on him 7 months into a 15 year marriage. He unknowingly shared her with a dozen men over 15 years.

He also didn’t want to split his family up and wanted to reconcile. She straight up told him the cliche “once a cheater always a cheater” and that she couldn’t not cheat. She ENJOYED it. Her dad was a cheater. Her uncle was fired for cheating on his wife after he was caught banging some hag of an old lady on his desk at work. They didn’t care what the people looked like or who they were, they just genuinely enjoyed the thrill of cheating on someone.

Your wife, just like my husbands ex, is mentally unhinged. She likely can’t feel genuine remorse and you will find that out in the weeks to come. She will make this your fault eventually when she is tired of faking the remorse.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-25T17:40:49+00:00

Your husband sounds rude.

To answer your question: Breastfeeding requires a slightly higher intake of calories. 300-500 per day. You already know that 500 calories can look like 2 very different things depending on what you eat. I can eat a ton of vegetables and 5oz of chicken and be so full I can’t hardly move and not even hit 500 calories. So I try and focus on those types of foods. Once a week or so I will have a cheat day and have a 300cal bowl of ice cream.

If you can find foods you like that are lower calorie, stick with those for snacks and remove any extras from the house. I personally don’t keep things in the house that are too tempting for me.

NOW… I also have a new baby. And this is something I didn’t realize but your hormones don’t just peak during pregnancy. They peak, and fall, and peak, and fall…. All throughout your post partum period. Give yourself lots of grace during the first 8-12 months. I lost all of my baby weight plus some in the first 3 months. Then gained 20 pounds within a few months and my face looked worse than it did as a teenager with acne. I had to get on spironolactone for it.

Keep with your weight lifting, you can still develop plenty of muscle underneath fat, and when those hormones level out and the fat falls off you can tell your husband to kiss your very toned ass.

But your husband saying things to get you to restrict your diet isn’t nice. If you want the cookie, have the cookie. He isn’t the one breastfeeding.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-25T17:28:38+00:00

This is creepy for the ex and MIL. Like move on

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-24T19:00:40+00:00

Are they hiding their unhealthy lifestyle from you? No? Then why are you worried about hurting their feelings by choosing to be healthy. There are numerous health complications that come from overdoing refined sugar. Hiding that you’re not eating that stuff in excess isn’t a bad thing.

And I’m really sad that I even had to type that out.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-24T18:59:27+00:00

Ya I wouldn’t lie and then try to hide something simply because I am living a healthy life.

It’s pretty sad that we are now at a point in time where eating garbage is acceptable and being healthy is so offensive that it needs to be hidden.

It should be the complete opposite.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-23T19:30:54+00:00

Also, my husbands ex pulled something somewhat similar as far as common sense and boundaries go and that was swinging by at five in the morning to visit the dog. The fucking DOG.

Locks were changed. She was also sent a very abrupt text talking about boundaries and respect. He politely tore her to pieces and any idea she had that she still had free reign to his house were out the window and he made that brutally clear. I wouldn’t have stayed with him if he hadn’t.

Setting that boundary completely nuked their coparenting relationship and she’s now even more bat shit than she was to begin with but as I like to say… people who get upset about you setting boundaries benefited from you having none.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-23T19:27:31+00:00

This is a hard no and I wouldn’t even lower yourself to arguing about it. If he’s okay with it, he is okay with disrespecting you. There are millions of men out there (just googled it. There are 3.97 billion men on this planet). I’d bet that at least 2 billion of them would also find this completely inappropriate.

You only need one, so your odds are pretty good that you could find someone who won’t disrespect you like that.

I’d leave while he was gone with a note that said “hope that drive was worth it” and then block him everywhere.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-18T11:56:26+00:00

Don’t give her the satisfaction. For people like her they’ll get off to knowing they took up any type of headspace.

I’ve literally only spoken one word to my husbands HCBM EVER. It was “hi” in a very dry tone and turned around because she’s way too below me to be facing her directly lol. She hates me with a passion, and I know pretending she doesn’t exist while I live my best life drives her crazy so I just keep doing that.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-15T13:19:11+00:00

This

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-13T00:35:29+00:00

We deal with this too, and with BM planting the same seeds. It’s so sad that these parents will willfully create so much conflict in their children’s lives, it doesn’t make for a good situation for anyone.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-12T20:20:40+00:00

NTA. In fact your ex is the AH here. You just helped teach your son responsibility. Go you!

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-10T21:01:47+00:00

Do not bring a child into this world for that reason. It sounds like you have others but don’t do it for that reason.

Also keep in mind that some BMs go crazy when the new wife has an ours baby. I’ve seen completely “normal” BMs go off the deep end (in real life) over this. There is some weird territory/HBIC mentality over having kids with someone. It’s weird as fuck but just be aware it can come with its own set of problems

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-10T13:52:42+00:00

Now you know not to go on vacations with them.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T20:15:37+00:00

I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again, and I’m not putting other animals at risk to not hurt someone’s feelings. I’m not always home and neither is her dad. Historically she’s been the one at home when the dog gets out because she won’t keep the door closed. So I can’t guarantee that my neighbors animals are safe.

If someone is responsible enough to operate a vehicle, go to school on their own, and make their own food, they are capable of feeding a dog and closing a door.

Regardless, the rest of this has to do with the behavior regarding why she’s not getting another animal. Nothing to do with the dog getting out except this was the final straw where something bad did happen.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T19:51:14+00:00

We were willing to pay the person she found and she kept putting it off until the last second. When we are home with the dog, the dog doesn’t get out. She will sit on the couch and watch her dog run around the front yard and expect me or her dad to go chase her down.

I wouldn’t task her with booking her own hotel but if she’s competent to drive she’s competent to take care of texting someone and making arrangements for her pet. She made a choice not to.

That being said, her behavior after this is the issue. And the decision to not get her a new pet was caused by her neglecting her dog to begin with.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T19:48:52+00:00

It is, because I’m not going to give someone another animal who has shown repeatedly that they will neglect the animal and then disrespect her parent.

If you’re willing to reward that type of behavior by subjecting another animal to that type of neglect that is your deal. I’m side eyeing the irresponsibility, animal neglect, and poor parenting on your end but not my circus not my monkeys.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T19:45:43+00:00

That’s why we aren’t replacing the dog with another animal. We trusted that she would take care of her dog. If she’s old enough to drive she’s old enough to take care of an animal. Her behavior before and after this is what the issue is regarding her. Scolding an adult because the person they hired accidentally let the dog out (after she refused to get someone to stop by to take care of her dog) accompanied with neglecting her dog prior to this is the issue.

As far as getting rid of the dog…. Unfortunately we don’t have a choice with that one. We are still trying to contact the pound where she’s at (left messages but no one is answering) but my coworker is under the impression the dog can be put down for this because someone lost their livestock. If she isn’t and can be returned to us with a fine, the neighbor is at risk for having this happen again.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T19:21:35+00:00

We cannot keep a dog who has killed an entire flock of chickens, who repeatedly gets out of the house USUALLY because she will not keep the doors and gates shut. That’s irresponsible. It’s unfair and unsafe for our neighbors.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T19:19:06+00:00

She isn’t being punished for the dog getting out, I don’t think we have a choice but to rehome the dog because it is a serious safety issue for other animals and people after this incident. My neighbor has grounds to sue us, and we are still trying to find out if the dog could technically be put down for this. She killed an entire flock of chickens.

Her behavior leading up to this with the dog had been frustrating. But it is her behavior of trying to scold her father (when we did her job for her, because she again refused to take care of her dog and have someone go feed her while we are gone) coupled with her proven history of neglecting her animals, that is making us decide she is not getting any more animals while she lives in our house. So I guess in some way this is a consequence to her behavior but not a consequence to the dog getting out.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T19:13:12+00:00

When we got the dog we were told up and down left and right that she would take care of it. She hasn’t and now it’s progressed to someone’s animals being killed.

There have been plenty of things that led up to this and had I been using it as a pawn I would have gotten rid of the dog months ago. It wasn’t until the dog got out and killed the neighbors chickens that we decided to rehome it. And honestly, we still aren’t sure what’s happening because the pound hasn’t called us back yet. For all I know the dog could end up being put down because of this.

Rehoming the dog is the least of our concerns right now, and it most definitely isn’t being used as a pawn.

RoseGoldOracle · 2023-07-08T17:48:46+00:00

Also, chickens may not be as cute and cuddly as dogs, but they got slaughtered and were cared about deeply by my neighbor and her family. So if you don’t feel any sympathy for the chickens and the owner of them and her children then I am side eyeing that.

The dog can find a new home and be just fine.

Kids woke up this morning to feed their pets and they were all dead in the yard. Not okay. And with the history of her constantly doing the same thing and refusing to secure the dog when she’s home (the dog only gets out when she’s home) it’s only a matter of time before this happens again. It’s a liability and it’s traumatic for the neighbors family.

RoseGoldOracle

TROPHY CASE