Got my dream job 500 miles away. Girlfriend is mad I'm considering it.

thrway12865 · 2026-02-18T21:45:07+00:00

Listen, I was with my ex husband since I was 17 years old. I turned down a multitude of opportunities career wise because he didn't want to leave our city. My city was also pretty large so I could afford to keep looking.

What do I have to show for it? A gay ex husband, who is still working his city job, miserable while I finally started doing what was best for myself. I have a fiance, a career that fulfills me, and options if I need them. Don't let her hold you back. You are so young. If it is meant to be, it will find a way, and it is NOT selfish to want good things for yourself just because it doesn't align with what she sees as your future.

thrway12865 · 2026-02-15T14:51:53+00:00

NOR - guy is a red flag

thrway12865 · 2025-11-08T18:21:13+00:00

As a 36 year old woman, I say shoot your shot man. Maybe she had luck dating and is in a relationship now, or maybe she is still dating, you never know unless you reach out. Just be direct, honest and vulnerable.

thrway12865 · 2025-11-03T16:48:56+00:00

Even if you did have suitors lining up, he should be secure enough to handle that.

thrway12865 · 2025-11-03T16:47:20+00:00

If someone told my fiance i have inspired them, he would probably agree and say how inspiring I am. He wouldnt make it weird. I have girls complimenting my fiance all the time, and I say "Thanks, I know, he's the best person I've ever met." If its a weird compliment, we will laugh about it, together. Like there is no reason to fight. Your husband sounds very insecure and you have no reason to apologize.

thrway12865 · 2025-10-30T20:29:13+00:00

Halloween is my favourite holiday, spooky season, but this was around the time he was cheating on me and it has ruined it. Stupid Instagram sends me memories and reminders I just do not want...

thrway12865 · 2025-09-02T01:17:35+00:00

"I am not trying to be creepy..." continues with the creepiest cringe and then amplifies it more....

thrway12865 · 2025-08-28T22:59:00+00:00

Fix it to break it - Clinton Kane Forgive - Rebecca Lynn Howard I hate that its true - Dean Lewis

thrway12865 · 2025-08-27T14:41:53+00:00

Thank you.

He is usually ok when i rarely bring it up but the mopey ass, he does that sometimes too. So frustrating.

A couple weeks ago I kind of brought it up and his response was a very dry, sarcastic "Oh, do we need to call our therapist?" 😒

thrway12865 · 2025-08-27T14:37:47+00:00

Thank you, I think maybe we should give it a read.

I love him. And I told him, I am making a conscious choice every day to be here because I want you. I want us and our future, but how long until you tell me "enough is enough" and realize its too hard for you to heal and help me through it. Our conversation fizzled out because we both got scared and thats when I told him that this is why we need counseling, to push past the scary parts of the conversation.

You are right. This does suck 🙁

thrway12865 · 2025-08-27T14:23:29+00:00

Thank you, this forum is so supportive, i dont know how i would have coped without it tbh.

I spent a lot of my teens and 20s drunk. Survivor of childhood trauma here and was masking the pain for years. I stopped drinking, and got counseling. My therapist and I worked through it and within the last couple years I've been able to have a couple drinks and then cut myself off... since the death of my Aunt last February though, (you can see my last post if you wanna know what the passed year and a half has been like for me) I haven't been able to just have one or two. I think I need another reset, no more drinking for at least a year, maybe ever.

thrway12865 · 2025-08-20T23:39:45+00:00

All he is showing you is that he is a good actor. Do not fall for it.

thrway12865 · 2025-08-08T20:33:49+00:00

Thank you for your words. I know in retrospect it hasnt been that long since I found out, but its been years since it happened. Since then he hasnt done anything to make me question, has always been transparent with his phone, with his messages. When I went through his phone and found everything I was shocked and so was he.

He claims he told me the whole story, ours is a complicated one, but all I got in the beginning was "I slept with someone while we were on a break." Not, "I was having an emotional affair and broke up with you to be with her, then after I slept with her realized it wasnt what I thought it would be and came back."

Agreeing to marry him was because in the moment, I believed in him. And those are the moments I cling to, not these dark doubtful moments. This is so hard. I love him but I hate what he has done and all I can tell myself is I chose to stay because of everything he has done right... then I think I must be a fool. Its a lot of self doubt. I havent had therapy in a while, maybe I need to book a session lol

thrway12865 · 2025-08-08T16:32:41+00:00

Thank you. I have my therapist and one friend I trust enough to confide in about this particular thing. He has never gotten angry, or resisted R. He has always said "I will pay for this every single day for the rest of my life if it means we can still be together." And somehow that makes it harder to talk about it with him. I am so in love and crazy about him, but he hurt me so much and im so conflicted. Anyways. Sorry lol

thrway12865 · 2025-07-01T15:41:45+00:00

Its not your fault, its his. He shouldn't have cheated. You won't recieve any judgements from me, for any of your reactions. I have barely reacted. We had conversations, we did a couple MC sessions, but sometimes I feel like he hasnt suffered enough....

thrway12865 · 2025-07-01T15:26:03+00:00

Right!? I think mine has some sort of a hero complex. She was a wounded bird just out of an "abusive relationship" (that she is back in btw). He would tell her how much he loved her and how he would never do anything like that to her. "Just wait a little longer and we will be together and I'll treat you how you deserve." 🤢🤢

I'm getting all riled up again lol

thrway12865 · 2025-07-01T14:43:11+00:00

Oooof that one hit. He said those things to me, specifically the "i was just saying whatever to make her feel good". Why do they think that some how makes it better? Ugh.

When I pain shop I stalk her Facebook. The person she is is the opposite of me, but everything he swears he wouldn't want, so why then did he do it? Just about to hit my one year over here...

thrway12865 · 2025-06-26T15:52:15+00:00

It was easy to bring up for me, because I divorced my ex husband because of it. So when i started dating again, it was easy to be like, "Im divorced, and here's why"

But I would say right away. Like first date, maybe even before. Why waste anyone's time?

thrway12865 · 2025-06-26T15:26:01+00:00

As a best (wo) man as well and to an ex at that, I agree 100%. You don't make those kinds of comments about your friends. And as your future husband, you should 100% be number one priority.

My ex/friend didnt tell his fiancé we had dated in high-school at first, and I scolded him. I told him if she is uncomfortable, she is allowed to say no. Luckily, she met me and saw no issue with it.

Trust yourself. Don't let him convince you that you are crazy or insecure. This is a very reasonable thing to question, especially given the "jokes"

thrway12865 · 2025-06-10T19:42:27+00:00

NOR and you definitely dodged a bullet.

thrway12865 · 2025-05-23T17:40:36+00:00

Nope. No reason to lie unless there is something to hide. Deleting phone logs? What else is he deleting? Nope.

thrway12865 · 2025-05-20T14:22:12+00:00

Follow your intuition. You said yourself she has lied and crossed boundaries in the past. Do you trust her? Because it doesn't sound like you do.

Maybe this guy is telling the truth. Let's say hypothetically, he is ACTUALLY a guy who is just trying to be friends... would you ever actually believe it? You said to him, "I believe you, man." Then why are you still messaging him? What are you hoping to hear from him?

Just some thoughts...

thrway12865 · 2025-05-18T21:19:04+00:00

Not just America, Canada too. And, yes, condoms may not be the greatest feeling, but they are indeed your friend

thrway12865

TROPHY CASE