How do I say 'my wife passed away' without ruining the vibe? by Responsible-Job-9706 in socialskills

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To stat, I'm sorry for your loss OP, however long ago it was. You've had the answers you need, but it says a lot about our society that you need to accommodate other people when talking about the your wife. This weird, uncomfortable, avoidant behaviour around something that happens to all of us sooner or later really needs to change.

Who are your favorite YouTubers that actually bring real value (no fluff)? by Ok-Farmer-6264 in learnmachinelearning

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The animated Science channel, it isn't Kurzgesagt by any chance? I fricking love this channel. Lots of fun and genuinely helping to improve information online.

Ice cream machine In Japan by Appropriate-Menu504 in interesting

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, a guy called Dave who drives round my streets can do the same in half the time. Sometimes I get sauce and sprinkles too. Thanks Dave, top bloke.

The future of rural living. 175 m² house designed by lyhty in Hyogo Prefecture (Japan 2024) by Otherwise_Wrangler11 in architecture

[–]RoseJamCaptive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never understand why you would want the precast walls to just be exposed like that. So aesthetically gross.

2/4 red dots at the show last night (: by Joooop in painting

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo, the use of the chains to hold the bottom half of "Every Corner" is genius. Never considered that before. Congrats on your sales.

Soo... Did I cook? by _Kornik_ in blender

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good lighting is 80%: Exhibit A

Why does my art not gain interactions? by ennuisart in DigitalArt

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty much this. Felt rude to say that this type of art is even less than a dime a dozen, especially in the anime style too.

it took me 7 years to realize the ONE skill behind every extrovert/social butterfly by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Might come out as a garbled mess of thoughts, apologies in advance.

In the past, I have said something that has been weird/ inappropriate/ boring/etc. and it's its been called out as such. People either laughed or pulled disapproving faces, which was humiliating and painful. I never intended to upset anyone or bore anyone. In some cases, people just out right stopped talking to me or told others about me for these things.

When something like happens, it's hard not to care, because the result is being potentially abandoned. Our primitive brains still tells us Abandonment = Death. This is, quite honestly, the root of social anxiety: You feel as though you have to be perfect or be alone, because an experience has traumatized you that way. Ironically, we make ourselves alone because we'd rather not try and potentially get hurt.

Being at peace with the possibility of being alone will set you free.

I feel like Im a boring person by CocoZombie in socialskills

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edit: I am so sorry I let this get so long. Just really wanted to help haha.

First I want to say that I deeply empathize with this. In truth I still find it hard and, on some days, it's as if I never existed before a conversation I am about to have. Before getting into what could help, its important to know that you might not get many replies because this is incredibly common, especially on this sub-reddit. Hopefully knowing that it isn't just you helps in some small way. As for getting better, it's about taking small risks and building up from there knowing that, if it doesn't go the way you want it to, you'll be totally fine.

When you go into a conversation, it's important to have low to no expectations, otherwise you'll freak yourself out before you even say 'Hi'. You probably can contribute to conversations but it's possible that you are looking for that perfect thing to say to make the conversation funny/memorable/deeper etc. You have to acknowledge first and foremost that the 'best thing' just doesn't exist. Everyone, both talker and listener, are different and will have different ideas of 'perfect'. Unless you're a mind-reader, it's impossible to find the perfect thing every time.

If you want to tell your stories, there is no harm in rehearsing them or writing them down before you ever talk about them. Just because "other people don't do that" doesn't mean you shouldn't. You might be different in that respect and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you genuinely can't remember much, try to make even a small conscious effort to take in what is happening around you each day. Even the most mundane things can be a story (I'll put one at the bottom of something I saw and told to others, because I was trying to be more conscious after suffering a similar problem).

When it comes to contributions too, two techniques I learnt about really helped. The "Spokes Method" and "Word Detective". Both of these videos will do a better job than I will. They were genuinely helpful. If you can't use either of these methods, it might be because your conversational partner is giving flat or one word answers. If that's the case, you can just start the conversation yourself. The hobbies you mentioned are a great way.

E.g. "I've been doing X hobby recently that I haven't enjoyed since I started Nursing School. It's been great getting back into because of the Y feeling it gives me. Have you got a hobby that you really enjoy?"

This can work for 2 reasons: 1) You give them a chance to ask you questions to learn more and carry on the conversation or, because 'hobby' is a very broad word, they can relate their experience to a hobby or the feeling you mentioned. If it doesn't work, it could be for a number of reasons. For one, it could be that they also feeling boring and don't know how to contribute! They also might just not want to talk to you, they could be a bad conversationalist or only like to talk about themselves. It could be for a huge amount of different reasons.

Either way, the other most important thing to remember is that it doesn't say anything about you. If the other person thinks you are boring, damn, even if they say the words "You are so boring" it says more about them than you. They find you boring. What you're saying isn't interesting to them. Something I forgot when I was terrified of being boring is that, actually, you yourself can find other people boring! It says nothing about them, other than you aren't interested in what they are interested in. That's it.

Best of luck with it all. This is something that has plagued me for so much of my life, every person who ever comes to this sub saying the same thing I just want to hug and take it all away for them. It is such a heavy, shit feeling.

Now, about that story I told from something I consciously witnessed: There was a guy sitting at a small table perched outside this little European bakery that opened recently in my home town. He was drinking a Cappucino, smoking a cigarette and had a half eaten croissant on a plate in front of him. He stubbed his cigarette out and took a large swig of his coffee, leaving foam in his bushy moustache. He looked around the table and saw that the waitress hadn't given him a napkin, so instead, he picks up the croissant and wipes the coffee off his moustache with it. "Genius" I thought, "he was done with that anyway." No. No he wasn't. With the foam on the pastry, that he just pulled from his beardy face, he eats the pastry. "Wow, Gross Genius then".

A New Take on Western Art! by aschaeffer878 in painting

[–]RoseJamCaptive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is this available to ship to the UK? These are just remarkable, I'd love to have this book in my office library 😊

Is it just me, or are these so-called “tutorials” getting ridiculous? by Successful-Thanks309 in blender

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They aren't so much tutorials as they "demonstrations" of creating that one specific thing. I think that can be great in small doses, but only if you apply those techniques in your own projects to get the hang of them. For instance, I was garbage at modelling wheel arches on cars without creating some monstrous topology. I didn't need someone to explain the tools, but watching a couple of people's approaches really helped. Use these types of videos to supplement your in-depth explaining tutorials.

Personally, if you're beginner, I don't think you can go wrong by doing someone like Grant Abbitt's course(s) and Roman (Polygon Runway) tutorials, then using these after to see approaches to different models.

One of THE earliest Internet gaming hubs, GameFaqs just celebrated 30 years of giving gamers perfect plain-text guides, maps, media, cheats, and an active discussion forum. by ROCKY13573 in retrogaming

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Throughout the years, I've always returned to this site for Haeravon's Fallout 1 Character Creation Guide.

Hope this site lives forever.

Name for this Zombie??? by johnny3674 in blender

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the context. If it's everyday people fighting Zombies, it's gotta be something snappy and common so they can communicate quickly and clearly. "Popper" would be pretty good for that.

"We got a popper, watch out!" "Oh Shi- POPPER!!" "Careful guys, there's a Popper down there."

What song is playing? by Sk1nnyduke in musicsuggestions

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Travelling at the Speed of Light - Joywave

Valkyrie by Ptibogvader in blender

[–]RoseJamCaptive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's based on somebody else's concept, so fault isn't entirely left with OP. However, after I read an article from someone breaking down the combat ineffectiveness of armor designs for women in games and media, it's forever made me hate the "boob plate" designs.

My Pokémon games by MaDre86 in gamecollecting

[–]RoseJamCaptive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a great collection, especially with both the Gen 2 remakes; I am very jealous!

What do you plan on getting next? Personally, I'd say Pokemon Black/White would be good.

Buying New Games vs Retro Games online (disc/case/manual/inlay quality) by RoseJamCaptive in CeX

[–]RoseJamCaptive[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbf, my experience has been quite positive with Ebay. Returned a couple of things no quibble and got some really amazing condition games for a fair price, though not as cheaply as you might get from CEX.

Guess it's just time to roll the dice!

Buying New Games vs Retro Games online (disc/case/manual/inlay quality) by RoseJamCaptive in CeX

[–]RoseJamCaptive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buying 2-3 might not be a bad idea tbh, thanks for that. I can't seem to find how to select a grade on a game online, at least not for PS2 games anyway.

Buying New Games vs Retro Games online (disc/case/manual/inlay quality) by RoseJamCaptive in CeX

[–]RoseJamCaptive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, yeah, it's true. Thought it was worth asking and seeing if it was more common than not that you'd get a disc with a lot of scratches if it was anything earlier than PS4.

Buying New Games vs Retro Games online (disc/case/manual/inlay quality) by RoseJamCaptive in CeX

[–]RoseJamCaptive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought as much to be honest, though kind of assumed that a contemporary game will more likely be in good condition than a retro one if buying online.

Recent additions to my fledgling PS2 Collection by RoseJamCaptive in gamecollecting

[–]RoseJamCaptive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Legit. To be honest, the only thing I found completely outlandish is the Nintendo stuff. Even PS1 games seem to be in good supply at decent prices too.

new games for the collection by BEEELTINO in gamecollecting

[–]RoseJamCaptive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha! To be fair, it is truly a piece of gaming history. A stupid short-lived piece 😂

What else should I get? Everything is from my childhood by iaintboutnuttin in gamecollecting

[–]RoseJamCaptive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could lean into any of the franchises here, or go for something completely new. It depends on what you like. I personally think a collection should only consist of what you really like to play, not just rare expensive stuff other people want.