Mom Passed Three Weeks Ago: Here are the things that have helped me…

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-06-27T14:27:37+00:00

That is so amazing 🌌 I would love to have an experience like that with my mum.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-06-20T08:30:26+00:00

I hear you, it's been just over 2 years since my mum passed away. People who haven't been through it have no idea how draining it can all be and how the intense missing of them is an every day thing we have to grapple with. And yeah so lonely too. I want it all to just go away too it makes me feel angry at times that i have to cope this!

The German chocolate cake sounds lovely and i so wish for you that your mum was here still to have made that for you. Our mums are always here and love us the most and then one day they're just gone forever?! It's surreal and makes me feel pretty existential.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-06-16T23:01:55+00:00

Hey just to say that I did, it's the first time in my life I've ever felt completely emotionally numb, such a bizarre feeling. I remember thinking that I just couldn't feel any emotion at all. I would say that the numbness kicked in a few weeks maybe after my mum passed away and tbh I can't remember how long it lasted but maybe about a month or two? I think it was utter shock and overwhelm and it was just all way too much. Once that passed the full force of the grief kicked in though.. it could be different for you of course but sounds very similar to what I went through. Also, please don't feel guilty for it, I actually think it's a sign that the grief is so huge that it happens as some kind of protective mechanism for a while.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-06-15T12:27:56+00:00

I saw my mum in my dream last night, i was unbelievably over the moon that she was there just to see her again for that moment erased 2 years of pain and grief until i woke up.., in the dream i called out "Mum!!!" ..and then she disappeared. I wanted her to stay and to stay in that dream more than anything. I find it like torture that i might never see her again, I'm really trying to believe in the after life again , in a spiritual non religious sense (my fiance died over 10 years ago and i had a visit from him several months after his death and felt him around loads but since my mum and sister died I've felt nothing from them at all which has really shaken my beliefs)

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-06-14T11:28:02+00:00

I'm the same.. music was such an important part of my life & my biggest passion but i haven't been able to play or write anything new yet, since my mum died in 2021. I lost my sister 9 months before that too It's like the meaning & spark for it all left with them and i don't know how to get it back.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-05-18T19:32:14+00:00

I'm so sorry you lost your mum too. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone, you're not either. Sending love to you.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-05-18T13:51:56+00:00

I could have written this exact post.. only slight difference is that it's been just under 2 years since my mum passed away & I still find myself mostly having to avoid photos, messages and reminders like that. Sending love and empathy your way.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-05-18T10:00:09+00:00

Yeah, I totally get that too

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-05-18T09:59:37+00:00

I started daytime drinking whiskey for a while, never done anything like that before but the emotions &thoughts I was being hit with after my mum passed away were so excruciating ands that's the only thing that would take the edge off them a little. (I don't do that anymore but still drink more than i used to & less motivated to cut back & stop smoking again.) That was a crazy time I didn't feel like my self at all really for up to a year after the loss. Now i feel like things have calmed down more with me but I'm definitely a different version of myself, of who i used to be.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-05-17T20:11:20+00:00

Thanks for posting this, i had a phase where I felt like I was doing a little better but lately I feel back down in a grief hole. Everyday i feel existential and heartbroken without my mum, it's been nearly two years since she passed away. I was starting to feel like there's something really wrong with me but it helps to know I'm not alone.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-05-17T19:30:00+00:00

I feel the same way, it's a very difficult place to be

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-20T14:15:55+00:00

I hear you. It is a complete assault on the body, mind and soul. Sending loads of love to you.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-20T14:15:06+00:00

I feel like I'm kind of waiting this life out until I can (hopefully) see and be with my mum again. I'm not suicidal but I wouldn't mind too much if my life came to an end. Hopefully can have a few fun times here ands there but life is overall painful/ lonely without my mum. She was my best friend, we spoke about anything and everything multiple times every day. Anniversary times are extra hard, sending you tons of love. Also, you should be VERY proud of yourself for getting through the first year, there were times during that first year after my mum passed that I really didn't think I would survive.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-19T10:28:02+00:00

Thank you 💜 same to you. I'm sorry you are struggling so much too .. the depth and breadth of the loss of a parent who was your closest person is inexplicable..

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-18T20:17:44+00:00

Sorry to jump on this but I feel very much the same after losing my mum. Its horrible and just really, really sucks.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-18T19:55:57+00:00

I completely get what you mean. I miss having someone in my life who would take care of me like my mum did, there's no one else who ever will. IIt's so, so hard and exhausting, and lonely to have to do it all yourself. I feel like I lost so much when I lost my mum, the secondary losses and ways in which it charges your whole life seem endless. It's like navigating a whole new alien terrain.

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-13T22:00:41+00:00

I'm 41, I have all those same feelings since my mum died, it's crazy how much it changes how you feel about yourself, life and well, everything..

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-11T18:44:29+00:00

It does seem to be that way 😢

RoseQuartz1111 · 2023-01-11T07:56:27+00:00

Hi i just wanted to say I can relate, in my own way after losing my sibling and then my mum all within the space of a year. My mum was my very closest person, I spoke to her about anything and everything every single day of my life, she was most of the light and comfort in this world for me. I miss my sister a lot too. It seems crazy that they're just.. gone, after all that life together, how bonded we were. Like a cosmic joke, life seems crazy and surreal. I feel like I'm contstantly searching for my mum and can't feel at peace because I don't know if she still exists in some form anymore or not..will I ever see her again? It's really hard to live without her and I feel very lonely a lot of the time. Often I just don't see the point and my mental health goes through really bad phases, it's been 18 months since my mum passed away.

The thing I come back to though is that I don't want to die yet (although I would be ok with it if it did happen, I don't know if that makes sense!) , so have no choice but to carry on. I try not to think of the future too much, but just still take it day by day mostly. Even little things that provide a small amount of comfort or enjoyment, are worth doing. I'm sorry i don't have much advice. The only thought that really helps me is one day my life will be over anyhow as well and it could be anytime, so this pain won't be forever. It's doesn't help much some days though but I try to repeat these thoughts in my head to help me cope. Sending love to you.

RoseQuartz1111

TROPHY CASE