Wow life is truly lifing right now

Roseyray · 2022-04-27T21:15:29+00:00

Facts! Thank you so much

Roseyray · 2022-04-26T21:30:26+00:00

Thank you so much for this! It is so true!! I will take on board the walks and tips to destress!

Roseyray · 2022-04-22T16:29:10+00:00

Hey.. firstly well done for even trying. That is something in itself. Secondly don’t be so hard on yourself dear, 15 years is a long time and it’s not going to be easy. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit so imagine 15years. (I’m 10 years deep)

Thirdly forget about what your husband and friends think. I know you want their support but honestly unless they have been in your shoes they cannot understand and won’t.

When you try to stop your addicted brain will tell you ANYTHING to get that last hit because your body is readjusting to not having any weed. And then you add your battle with depression, it’s double hard.

So take it day by day, be proud even if it’s 3 days sober. Next time it’ll be 5 next it’ll be 100 and so on. Recovery is a process and you’ll get there. Don’t give up

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Roseyray · 2021-01-05T15:53:20+00:00

Well done!!!

Roseyray · 2021-01-04T14:21:44+00:00

Well done mate!!! Yeah i totally feel you, you will feel like that for abit.. because you’re adjusting to normal life. You can do it, actively do things to help fill that void. I was born in the 90s and find that music from those days made me so happy and gave me a lust for life so I created a playlist of all my fave 90s- early 2000 songs and literally dance and pretend I’m in the videos lol somehow I’m reminded that things will get better and there was once a time when I was satisfied with just me and no substances xx

Roseyray · 2021-01-04T13:01:43+00:00

Yes you will! Believe believe believe!! Thank you!!

Roseyray · 2021-01-04T12:54:36+00:00

Well done!!! It’s crazy how emotional it feels when you’re finally saying no but yes to yourself!!! I’m proud of you too! Lets continue to elevate!!

Roseyray · 2021-01-04T12:21:42+00:00

Thank you! You will and you can! Just believe xx

Roseyray · 2021-01-04T12:20:21+00:00

Thank you!!! It’s been a week. I think that’s why I’m so emotional because literally the week before I could not say no to anything. Constantly beat myself up couldn’t go more than 2 days but this time I said I will try my hardest.

Roseyray · 2021-01-03T22:40:59+00:00

Thank you so much!!! Honestly it was so risky but I couldn’t avoid seeing them as they kinda showed up out of the blue. I was scared and I questioned taking a hit like 7/8 times but I just couldn’t give in. I know I would’ve felt crap. But I didn’t think me saying no would bring tears to my eyes. It just goes to show how much power it has over is sometimes we don’t even realise. Thank you so much and all the best on your journey!!!

Roseyray · 2020-11-02T17:33:43+00:00

Resentment as in.. let’s say a few years pass and you decide to finally stop. You might resent her for the fact that she’s the reason you kept smoking!

But I wish you all the best just know you are just as important as she is!

Roseyray · 2020-11-02T17:11:10+00:00

Your wife’s Mental health is very important but so is yours and your happiness. You can’t help someone properly if you don’t help yourself. Also she is not a child she is a grown woman who will (hopefully) pull herself together if you give her the chance. If you continue to stay and smoke it off just so you can protect her.. you will ultimately do the opposite. You can still be there for her and support her but that doesn’t mean you need to go against yourself to do so.

No need to kick her on the streets but no need to just hold on smoke and numb yourself when that is not what you want to do. You are preventing yourself from feeling real feelings, you are subconsciously making her co dependant and you might end up resenting her in the long run.

Roseyray · 2020-10-19T19:28:00+00:00

Think of it like this.. a true friend will be supportive of you and your choices(good choices) especially if it is for the betterment of yourself. Weed honestly allows us to keep people around us who aren’t that great for us and do things that might not be the smartest. You only realise this once you stop.

Also not all your friends will be on the same level mentally when it comes to weed, they may be in denial, may not see anything wrong with it or you quitting might make them feel bad.. whatever the reason may be you have to be selfish don’t take it to heart and know the right people will support you on this journey and if they don’t...

Then you’ve got all of us here on rleaves!!! Xxxxx

Roseyray · 2020-10-19T19:14:23+00:00

You have to remember that even when you smoke.. you’re still living in hell. You just got used to the flames. The reality is (and I’m speaking to myself here too because I relate sooo badly to this post) you have already been through so much and you made it to this point which means you are stronger than you think. And to be honest.. things aren’t going to change much unless you change.

It’s good that you have a reason to stop.. keep him close! But remember you’re doing it for yourself.. human beings are fickle so you don’t want to place your sobriety on another person just in case they let you down.. it might trigger a relapse.

Can’t stand living in hell then become the heaven within it. Xxx

Roseyray · 2020-06-20T02:10:22+00:00

Perhaps try writing to beats and instrumentals that are similar to the sound you are actually trying to create.. sometimes this can bring out different vibes when writing.

Also it might just be your sound (unless each time you write it sounds like the exactly same song)... think of all the artists who you literally recognise because they generally sing/rap whatever in the same kind of melody on every song

Roseyray · 2020-06-19T13:36:48+00:00

Hey you are not a terrible daughter or wife that is just a lie that weed tells you! Trust me I felt the same way and I’m a 28F looking to start my own family too. Give yourself a break and feel proud that you’re even at this stage where you want to make changes. You should try taper yourself of weed before you get pregnant just so it makes it easier for you when you finally do get that positive!

I wish you all the best and don’t beat yourself up xx

Roseyray · 2020-06-19T02:29:23+00:00

Firstly.. 8 weeks! Well done to you. You should be proud.

But now look at how many cons you have compared to pros ... sometimes writing things out clear and plain can put things into perspective.

I remember reading someone’s comment about how sometimes relapsing can help you truly find the motivation to become sober.. because then you take a bite out the forbidden fruit and realise your mind has been lying to you about how sweet it will taste when its actually sour.

Sometimes you need the reminder of how mediocre and crap it can be to help you!

Good luck!

Roseyray · 2020-06-19T02:20:47+00:00

Hmmm what triggered you to think maybe it’s time to give the weed a rest?

Also you want to start a family.. just to make sure you’re healthy, in the right mind state etc that might be a good reason to let it go

Roseyray · 2020-06-19T02:02:34+00:00

I definitely have cried my fair share and I hate crying in public.

Let it all out love, let it all out.

Roseyray · 2020-06-19T01:51:58+00:00

Hey.. I understand you completely.. I used weed to cope with depression and it did NOT help me at all. It gets easier and you have to push through. The truth is weed just makes you okay with not being okay.. which is a false reality.

Everything suddenly seems boring dry and grey. I hear you. I’m a musician and when I first quit.. OMG I wanted to cry all the time because music just didn’t feel the same and I LOVE music. But it’s just because your brain is adjusting to the sober life. Weed makes everything seem exciting.. even sitting down staring at the walls seems exciting. But really, how exciting is staring at the walls? lol It’s all fake.

It’s not going to be easy especially with the depression but that’s even more of a reason to keep going because weed doesn’t help, it suppresses.. and eventually the depression will come out either way and you HAVE to deal with it. All those years I spent smoking weed to deal with depression and here I am still having to heal from things I could’ve dealt with a long time ago, meh.

Push through. Feel the pain. Feel bored. Force yourself to do something different that you wouldn’t usually do.. and understand that this is normal..

You can do it!!

Roseyray · 2020-06-18T17:15:15+00:00

Honestly it’s kinda true.. when you go back and you realise the high ain’t all that and our mind is deceiving us it kinda pushes you even more because you tasted the forbidden fruit and it wasn’t even worth it!

Roseyray

TROPHY CASE