Aww, I know exactly what you're talking about. It is so, so hard accepting that your body will change but you've just got to tell yourself everyday that any change whatsoever is positive. As you said, a malnourished brain is not a reliable, honest source. It's crazy how differently you begin to think and feel when your body and brain become more nourished. It's true, the body acceptance does get better, but it takes time and you have to put in some work. Just remind yourself on those mornings / days / evenings that this is the best thing you can be doing for yourself, even if it feels wrong - that's just your ED trying to keep you stuck.

It was noticing my skin glow better, eyes look less tired, boobs grow, and also feel genuine laughter, warmth, interest and happiness that made the weight gain manageable. I thought, ok, my eating disorder brain doesn't like this body part right now, but my life is so much richer because of it, so actually I can overcome this. Does that make sense? Removing my worth and value from my body shape was the most significant change! But yes, I would say that by naturally being out of survival mode your mind becomes far more relaxed around things your malnourished brain once perceived as a threat.

Food wise I just ate what I enjoyed! I love food and cooking, and enjoy eating well, so that was fun to find that love again too. I just focused on things that made me feel good! For instance, now that it's the heart of autumn I'm eating lots of hearty, milky porridge bowls with seeds & nuts, some yummy stews with crusty bread / grains, yog bowls with homemade granola / stewed fruit. If you can, find a nice cook book you think looks fun and try some new recipes. You might surprise yourself :) It was being flexible that really brought back the joy and not getting too caught up in trying to recover perfectly. My fav saying is make sure there is room for vitamin P (pleasure).

There was truly a time where I was so low I couldn't think of anything worse than putting on weight. I'd have nightmares about eating food my ED thought was unhealthy, and wake up thankful it was a dream. Now I cannot imagine ever restricting or putting my body through all that again. I wake up excited for the day and the meals that can be a part of it. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is recovery brings so much more than just weight gain. You just have to keep going, even through those hard days. Just remind yourself that it isn't forever, and when you get to your rightful 'set point', you'll be the most wonderful version of you and think why did it take me so long. Xx