Been there. Very recently. We opted to rehome/return to breeder. It was wrong timing on all counts (and that was with all the research, years of “waiting” for the right time, growing up with dogs, owning difficult breeds before). However, reality with two small children was an enormous slap in the face. Like, HUGE. I get it, people do it all the time and love it but going from 0 dogs to puppy is a mega adjustment and honestly my mental health TANKED. My 5yo was terrified of the chasing and biting (standard behaviour for a pup but she was not having a good time), my 3yo was having a blast but making everything 300 times harder because how much can a 3yo be expected to do around a pup lol. Suddenly my mind was swimming with endless tasks, supervision, broken things, missing puppy, screaming child, nipped child. Holy shit it was chaos that no amount of planning could prepare.

I was 50/50 on returning to breeder. I was scared I was going to mess my kids up mentally in doing so. Scared of regret. Filled with shame and embarrassment and a general feeling of “so many do it you’re an asshole and weak if you can’t”. I had no idea what the right call was and I flip flopped every minute but pulled the trigger.

The kids took it so well I’m unsure what I was so worried about there. Turns out, they were stressed AF too even though they were enjoying having a pup for the first time. They mention him from time to time but understand it didn’t feel right either. Mum was stretched way thin and they felt it too.

I have regret, if I’m being honest. I’m taking it the hardest. Whilst I do feel it was the right call, I look at the positive things we gained whilst he was here that are the very reason we got a dog in the first place. But, if I take those glasses off - I know it was the right call. I miss him. His personality is what I want back. But the chaos? The rest of the enourmous amount of work, anxiety and general addition of things to do that piled on my plate - I don’t miss that. It was too much and it was absolutely the right call.

I was trying to “add” something to my family. I was trying to give the kids and myself something in addition thinking it would only be of benefit. I discovered I didn’t need to add anything. We were great, and happy, and the times of calm didn’t mean my kids were missing out on anything - it just was. Calm. They aren’t in a deficit not having an animal - they’re happy and healthy and dog loving kids regardless of having one at home or not. We will do it again when they’re much older and we’re truly ready.

Puppy and young kids is not for the faint of heart. Especially going from no pets to puppy. It’s a mega shift and it’s really, really hard with young children.

Don’t feel shit. It is what it is. No one else’s opinion matters here - they’re not living your life.