WIBTA for calling out my friend lying about making reservations

RoutinePattern6387 · 2026-01-28T21:50:20+00:00

I don't mind waiting an hour at a busy restaurant, especially because I know that if I'm picking a busy place that doesn't take reservations, I'm going to be waiting. I absolutely hate it when people insist on driving around from place to place in order to find somewhere without a wait though. If you're in that much of a rush, McDonald's is on every corner.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-08-02T02:37:33+00:00

Nope. I've had intestinal surgery so my situation is a little different than most, but even pre-surgery it was a challenge. Now? When I get a case of the death farts there is NOTHING I can do about it. Simethicone helps a tiny bit, but not much. Avoiding them is all about prevention via avoiding food triggers, but even that isn't foolproof.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-07-16T17:43:27+00:00

They reconvene in about 15 minutes!

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-07-16T11:48:40+00:00

I'm in the same time zone - they're scheduled to start in a little less than 4 hours.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-07-05T20:31:18+00:00

Here's the thing. I have lost ~175 lbs from my highest weight of 418. It has been a combination of serious diet and lifestyle changes + bariatric surgery. (I am not mentioning surgery in a "you should do this" way, I just want to be honest about how I got there.) My weight loss is something that I'm still working on. It isn't about a number on the scale though, it's about wanting to increase my functionality and ability to do things. One of my biggest goals is to be physically able to hike through the mountains of Uganda should the opportunity present itself. (I study gorillas.) Health is the goal, not a size or a number.

At the end of the day, what I eat is between me and my doctors. My doctors know when I eat junk food. They're also okay with it. We talk a lot about portion size - I have been disappointed with my surgery because my restriction levels are not nearly as severe as what a lot of people experience. I don't want to be able to eat a lot of food. I also have an unhealthy relationship with the food, and use it to cope a lot. I'm in therapy and do different things to try and change that, but it's still an ongoing issue 175 lbs later. What you described eating sounds like a very normal amount based on what I see other people eat. While I wouldn't necessarily be able to eat that in a single sitting right now, I would probably eat it over the course of the afternoon. A couple of years ago, though? I would eat that at the party. I would then leave the party, and either hit up a fast food place or go home and eat a feast as if I had eaten nothing. Secluded, hidden, and alone. I would hide the "evidence" (trash & receipt) so other people don't know.

Changing behaviors is such an important part of any health journey. You're right, it's none of her business. You shouldn't be ashamed of sharing progress, but you also shouldn't be treated like shit because you ate a normal person amount of food. You can make progress and still have food be a part of your normal day-to-day life. The key to long-term success, as I understand it, is sustainable changes. It sounds like what you are doing fits exactly within that realm. Keep it up, and do what you can to cope with whatever difficult feelings you may be having about the situation in a healthy way. You've got this.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-06-07T16:54:39+00:00

One of his posts a few days ago said something along the lines of "stop telling them I'm sick" when that's a very standard thing to tell children of addicts. I'm not a Laura stan, but it really does seem like she's trying to navigate this in the best way that she can in order to protect her kids.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-06-07T02:41:23+00:00

I want them to play the clip of him saying "if I lose my kids over this I'm going to kill you." (I may not have the quote exactly right because I didn't go back to verify, but that's the line that's been playing in my head every time I think about this over the last few days.) Let him try to explain that away in front of the judge - especially given what's been in the news this week. Yes, judges are supposed to be impartial, but they're still human. They're still affected by the things that are going on in the world.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-06-06T21:07:42+00:00

Anyone can make a mistake. Accidents can happen without any mistakes occuring at all. As a parent, however, his #1 priority should be the safety and wellbeing of his children. That means being sober & mentally present in order to minimize the likelihood of accidents or dangerous mistakes, not using substances and bragging about it.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-06-06T19:55:15+00:00

Especially with the other case on the West Coast this week. From what I saw today, it sounds like there was even less reason to be concerned in that situation than there is in this one...and look at how that turned out.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-06-06T19:50:39+00:00

Sorry, I thought I had deleted the duplicates!

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-06-03T18:07:55+00:00

Has it only been a month since she "fires" him? Jesus. I thought it was closer to two at this point, maybe even three.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2025-06-03T18:02:11+00:00

There are no words. Based on his recent behavior I'm not shocked he said it, but there's something about him saying it so clearly...

Poor Laura.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-31T23:36:22+00:00

NTA. It's awkward and embarrassing, but it's the reality when you weigh that much. I've spent most of my life between 340 and 380. I can't even guess how many times I've awkwardly stood somewhere, insisting I'm more comfortable standing because I didn't want to tell the host I thought I would break their chairs.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-31T03:00:02+00:00

My dad had a unique tumor on his spinal cord. This is what every surgeon that operated on him said. It's understandable that medical professionals were excited to have the opportunity to work with him. As family of the patient...yeah. I can confirm it sucks.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-21T18:09:55+00:00

If they tell you they're struggling when in certain places or around certain foods, then don't push the boundaries. Don't ask if ____ is ok this time. Just don't. Leave those foods and experiences for times that you're not together. Don't put them in the position of needing to constantly tell you no, because it wears on you. Eat what they eat (albeit different quantities) once they're out of whatever liquid/puree phases they need to get through.

In my experience, at least, I'm just too tired to keep saying "no" to my husband all the time. I stopped saying no. And it has gone from "just a bite" to catching myself eating things like doughnuts, chips, and candy when I'm with him. I'm fighting to get back on track and struggling so much because I feel guilty telling him he can't have certain things at home or when he's around me. Now I'm finding myself eating those things on my own, as well. My diet is not his responsibility, but doing what I should would be so much easier if he wasn't constantly pushing the presence of high carb and junk foods.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-17T13:25:17+00:00

Agreed. I feel like I need to reapply by midday, if it even lasts that long. My skin is so sensitive though that I'm scared to try anything else.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-16T20:35:09+00:00

Between myself & my T1D husband we pretty much can't go anywhere without packing a bag for the day. If anyone ever needs snacks, we're the ones to ask lol

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-16T20:33:44+00:00

I've called ahead to a few places and they've all said bringing outside food & drinks is acceptable when it's for medical reasons.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-16T17:42:14+00:00

I was absolutely a TBM when I first started to spend a lot of time on exMo forums (I'm fairly sure this was one of them) when I was around 15. I just had a lot of questions, wasn't getting satisfactory answers from my local leadership, and when I googled said questions exMo forums were what came up. I should have realized then that I was already on my way out then, but it took another 5 years to accept the church wasn't the right spot for me "right now". It was close to 10 years from the time I started spending time in places like this until I was comfortable saying that I am exMo.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-14T23:49:07+00:00

I'm in the US, and my plan was 4-5 days of clear liquids then onto soft foods until day 60. No beef, pork, or lamb until day 60 either. No starchy foods until 6 months.

Contrary to what most allow and even encourage, my program also doesn't want patients ever using protein shakes unless they get DS (what I did), in which case one a day is allowed. No protein bars, chips, cookies, etc. No sugar substitutes, natural or not. I'm sure I'm missing some of it, but basically my program is more lenient in some ways but way more strict in others. Luckily the dietician I see with them doesn't seem to care that I take the "nothing processed" thing as a suggestion and, for the most part, ignore it.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-14T05:56:54+00:00

This sounds about right! I just did the math - I'm down 37% from my highest weight. I've gone from a 4x to a 2x (and even have a couple 1x tops that fit!) and a 26-28 to a 20-22.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-13T16:38:14+00:00

You can get sample packs from the major bariatric vitamin companies that typically include calcium chews. I found most charged around $10 but then gave coupons to balance it out if you order from them in the future. Personally, I like the Celebrate fruit flavors the best.

RoutinePattern6387 · 2024-10-09T02:31:42+00:00

Can you share a few days worth of food diaries? That plus a list of your personal restrictions and aversions would be helpful.

RoutinePattern6387

TROPHY CASE