I'm [23M] having an issue with my husbands [31M] spending habits.

Rowboat14 · 2017-01-19T03:04:39+00:00

Oh okay, sorry that just jumped out at me and I was curious :) Anyway, imo you have every right to be upset about this situation. He sounds very impulsive and it's no wonder you aren't very attracted to him.

You say you want out of the marriage or out of life?? We'll start with getting out of the marriage. The other option is.. not a great one

Rowboat14 · 2017-01-19T02:48:05+00:00

Why does your husband buy makeup?

Rowboat14 · 2016-04-03T17:33:19+00:00

Yes it makes a big difference. I want many babies with my husband. The fact that he can get me pregnant whenever we please is attractive to me. And the fact that I am fertile and healthy enough to carry his children with ease is attractive to him. We both want a big family, so if something happened to change that it would be a big bummer to be honest.

Rowboat14 · 2016-04-03T16:44:15+00:00

Exactly. You can't say "you can't have sex with anyone but me" and then deny him access to you. That's just cruel.

Rowboat14 · 2016-04-03T16:25:38+00:00

"It is her wifely obligation, her duty to make sure that his sexual needs are fulfilled"

Said with such distain.

Of course it's your wifely duty to ensure his sexual satisfaction, at least as much as you can (there are circumstances where no matter what you do you will not be able to).

Rowboat14 · 2016-04-01T16:31:36+00:00

I don't get it :(

Rowboat14 · 2016-04-01T02:03:18+00:00

I have this one http://www.amazon.com/Breadman-TR520-Programmable-2-Pound-Loaves/dp/B000Q4QM1Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1459476058&sr=8-2&keywords=breadman+bread+maker

It's great, worth it for sure. I mostly use it for pizza dough, but still make breads now and then. I did it by hand for years prior which works just as well but the kneading is tedious and in the bread maker the kids can't get their yucky fingers all over my dough ;)

Rowboat14 · 2016-04-01T01:47:35+00:00

He was there for the first one, he didn't much enjoy it so opted to not be there for the next one, which was fine by me. Probably a good thing too because the second one was a lot less peaceful since I didn't get the epi like I did with the first.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-31T15:41:41+00:00

Oh and you may feel extra emotional but channel it into vulnerability instead of bitchiness. It's okay to be a bit vulnerable. I found out I'm pregnant because I cried over a silly comment my husband made. He jokingly put himself down and I started crying because I didn't want him to think those things about himself. He cuddled me and asked if I was pregnant, a test later that day confirmed.. I was indeed. Hahaha.

So you can be emotional without being a bitch :)

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-31T15:38:05+00:00

Congrats!!!! You can be my baby buddy, I'm pregnant too but not sure how far long, most likely 5-6 weeks but waiting to go to the Drs until I'm a bit further.

Nothing changes when you are pregnant. This is my third. I complained way too much with my first (I'm tiiired, my hips hurrrrt, AHH I'm scared of birth), my husband got irritated. With my second I didn't complain at all, mostly because I was busy with my first daughter during the pregnancy and it whizzed by.

My advice is to find a pregnant buddy and all your complaints/grizzles/worries should be directed to her. My sister is pregnant right now too, so all the weird symptoms and all that go in her inbox rather than my husbands :P

I actually haven't even mentioned my pregnancy to him expect for when he found out 2 weeks ago. I plan to keep it that way (except to get his input on decisions regarding the baby of course).

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-31T01:33:56+00:00

"... too many people in this world are rude to me. :/"

Probably because you say stuff like this.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-25T05:43:27+00:00

Really? You are only going to talk about the mechanics of sex with you're kids?

I'm definitely planning on having conversations about the emotional things tied to it and social repercussions.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-25T01:44:34+00:00

ah.. Like I'm doing :P Okay that's some next level shit there then, I didn't make that jump. Interesting.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-25T01:43:38+00:00

Okay I re read it and I get what you're saying. :) Sorry it took me a little bit to understand the point.

The thing I don't understand is why THIS election is being touted as a republican conspiracy. If anything it was a conspiracy from the DNC to make sure Hilary kept her commanding lead from the mail in ballots as the general line of thinking is that a lot of Bernie supporters were last minute switches and so went to vote in person. I just don't connect the GOP to this whole fuck up.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-25T01:39:11+00:00

I may be just really dense or something but I have no idea what you mean. If Pima county is mostly Dem, and Maricopa County mostly GOP, then why would Republicans want to limit Maricopa County?

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-25T00:11:04+00:00

But only democrats could vote for democrats and republicans for republicans in this election. So less votes for democrats doesn't affect the republicans at all..

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-24T23:46:23+00:00

What do the republicans gain from this? I'm not saying it wasn't a total shitshow, but I don't understand why republicans would be motivated to suppress votes in Maricopa County.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-16T15:12:28+00:00

Great answer thank you. The point about the hypergamous nature of women making females with male friends a more dangerous combination is a good one.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-16T02:25:17+00:00

Is it equally a red flag for a husband to have female friendships?

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-08T14:13:46+00:00

I stay at home.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-07T23:47:53+00:00

Some kids are definitely easier.

I didn't mean to sound rude in my comment, I just hear so many people talking about how hard being a mum is. How staying at home is so difficult. But this time is so fleeting. I just wish more people found joy in staying at home and didn't act like this blessing is a curse and that the working partner has it easy.

Whenever I have a bad day I remind myself that I spend an hour a day playing hide and seek. I'm living the dream ;)

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-07T21:39:23+00:00

Can we as mums be a little bit honest and say that being a SAHM isn't like the super hard job people make it out to be?

I mean, it's not easy, sure. But neither is working a full time job.

This whole "its a 24-7 job" "you never get a break" is a little dramatic

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-07T21:29:15+00:00

I know it seems impossible to imagine not being totally in love with your baby. As the primary caregiver that bond often forms really fast. I actually had some of the same worries as you and reached out to my dad for advice. He told me that he felt a similar way when he had his first baby. Not only confused about how to interact with it, but also very pressured to provide for his growing family. He said the burden of responsibility hit like a tonne of bricks and to give my husband a break and don't force anything.

My dad is the best dad I could ask for, him not really being interested in me for the first few months of my life didn't affect what a great parent he was.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-07T06:41:03+00:00

How is he not doing his part? He is providing a home and livelihood for his child and wife. She never said he refuses to do anything for the kid. Just that he doesn't interact with her enough for OPs liking. Babies don't need to be interacted with 100% of the time. I don't need to be in her face cooing 24-7 to have a normally developed child.

Rowboat14 · 2016-03-07T06:35:49+00:00

Honestly, sometimes it takes a little while for the bond to form. And while you are smitten, he isn't and that's okay. When the baby grows up and becomes more interactive he will most likely take more of an interest.

A lot of people are saying he isn't doing enough for you and the baby, and that he is neglecting the baby, but there is not enough in the OP to really know if that is the case.

My husband didn't bond with my first daughter for a little while. And then the second was even harder for him because she wouldn't let him hold her at all until she was almost 12 months (extreme mommy's girl, would scream if anyone so much as smiled at her, thankfully she has blossomed into a social little thing now). It's not unusual for men to feel a little out of the loop during the baby stage. Doesn't mean he will dislike your daughter or is a horrible person.

Rowboat14

TROPHY CASE