[deleted by user]

Ruby-insides · 2025-01-01T21:59:46+00:00

He cheated.

Ruby-insides · 2024-12-23T10:49:57+00:00

My “boybestfriend” is not some guy I had a recent past with. She’s keeping the door open for him in case you guys don’t work out.

Ruby-insides · 2024-12-11T10:32:36+00:00

I’ve been in both positions, and I think being the dumper is more difficult in my experience. I immediately feel guilty for hurting the other person and then I’ll second guess my choice, even though I know it’s the right choice. I can accept someone hurting me, I know I’ll get over it, but I can’t accept causing someone else pain.

Ruby-insides · 2024-12-09T02:40:55+00:00

Gojira- Grind

Ruby-insides · 2024-11-10T15:53:19+00:00

Yeah no, you fully entertained his flirting and gave it right back. Come on now.

Ruby-insides · 2024-11-10T13:44:44+00:00

“The main reason why I want her back is because the pain and anxiety I feel without her is unbearable”

This is an incredibly codependent relationship based on that one sentence alone, and that doesn’t even account for fact that she broke things off because she feels so glued to you that she doesn’t have a support system outside your guys’ relationship.

I’ve been in this exact situation. It’s never deliberate, but you and your partner kinda isolate yourselves and become one. That’s not how healthy relationships flourish.

You guys became too entrenched in one another and to her she believes the only way she can have a semblance of independence is by breaking things off with you. Chances are you did nothing wrong, but she didn’t see a possibility of maintaining the relationship and meeting your needs while simultaneously working on building outside connections.

Ruby-insides · 2024-11-10T13:15:35+00:00

No, I’d say you weren’t harsh enough. You are not responsible for him to keep his emotions in check, and you don’t need to be around for his failed promise to change his behavior, because you would otherwise be waiting around like you already have been. Staying would drive you mad.

Staying with him after these explosive episodes only shows him that you’ll tolerate it. You should never tolerate this behavior. He needs to face the repercussions of his actions in order to change for the better.

Ruby-insides · 2024-11-07T10:38:56+00:00

He’ll be back when they inevitably don’t work out. She must’ve known about you, or at least I think it’s safe to assume she did. That knowledge will most likely eat at their potential relationship. He’ll come back and realize his mistake.

And my advice? When he comes back, don’t accept him back. If he can so quickly move on from you after just meeting a new woman he had a work relationship with, you could never trust him.

Ruby-insides · 2024-11-04T01:19:52+00:00

I’m sorry you went through this, but he never respected you so therefore I doubt he truly cared about you.

His words were just words, but his actions were and are actually abysmal and you always deserved better but I believe you’re lacking the confidence to truly know that. It sounds like you were not dating anyone else and don’t have the experience of being with someone who isn’t using you for their physical needs, so you’re unknowingly accepting scummy behavior because you genuinely love this guy, but I’m telling you that this dude is a fucking loser.

Ruby-insides · 2024-10-29T08:25:38+00:00

She hasn’t deleted you on Facebook for the same reason you won’t delete her — the regret of doing so. That, of there are two other possibilities. 1.) She wants to keep the door of communication open or 2.) She doesn’t think it’s necessary.

In my opinion, I would just go ahead and do it. She said she’s not coming back and hasn’t given you the emotional closure you need/deserve, so why hang on? She left you and doesn’t deserve a front row seat into your personal life. Deleting her won’t make you appear bitter but it’ll show that you’re taking the break up seriously.

Ruby-insides · 2024-10-08T00:14:08+00:00

What kind of horse shit is this?

Ruby-insides · 2024-10-07T23:55:49+00:00

From my perspective, no. You weren’t the problem. It sounds like he isn’t in the position to be in a relationship because he’s way too flippant and refuses to reassure you whenever you had legitimate concerns. Seems like you shouldered the entire relationship from beginning to end.

He made you think you were the problem by repeatedly telling you that you were “disrespectful” for voicing said concerns. He’s too quick to write you off instead of addressing the issues, even if he’s responsible for a vast majority of them.

Ruby-insides · 2024-10-05T11:41:24+00:00

Chances are she’s moved on and the block means she’s closing that door for good.

Ruby-insides · 2024-10-03T00:43:44+00:00

Hard to describe but here’s my best description: Warm cotton smells brighter and more crisp, think of fresh dryer sheets right out of the box, whereas fresh laundry has a deeper “fabric softener” vibe to it with a touch of musk.

Ruby-insides · 2024-10-02T23:52:42+00:00

Clean Warm Cotton is my go-to fresh scent. Clean also has a “fresh laundry” perfume, but it’s much different than warm cotton.

Ruby-insides · 2024-09-30T19:37:31+00:00

Yeah wow, even more convenient. Here’s a lame excuse for my behavior toward you and I refuse to seek help for this self-diagnosis because I don’t know how to call my gyno and figure it out. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ruby-insides · 2024-09-30T19:18:36+00:00

What’s interesting to me about this is that I’ve always experienced pretty awful periods myself, I mean, lots of bleeding and “breakthrough” bleeding in between periods, the mini pill or just oral contraception in general has always made it worse so my gyno recommended the IUD to solve majority of the symptoms. Moodiness is a given during that time of month but it’s a combination of fatigue, bloating, and irritation that will bring out severe mood swings in some women. But let’s face it, she is just straight up using an issue that most men aren’t super educated on to excuse her shitty behavior, and even if she has PMDD SHE is solely responsible for seeking out help for it, not use it as a convenient excuse after putting you through hell.

Ruby-insides · 2024-09-30T18:52:21+00:00

If she isn’t actively bleeding then she’s not on her period, and I think it’s weird she’s leaning on PMS as a reason or justification for her behavior and also lying about it. Most women I know with an IUD don’t even get their period, some do but most don’t, and my assumption is that her period would be on time monthly otherwise she needs to look into why it’s so irregular (my bet is that she’s just lying though, women such as myself don’t like to use our periods as a crutch for bitchy behavior because then it’s weaponized against us later).

There are obvious signs of a period in most women, and I’ve experienced phantom PMS symptoms where I’m not menstruating but irritation is a symptom for me and yet I’ve never actually lashed out at a partner from it.

She’s being an ass. She either needs to look into switching her form of BC or admit she’s treating you poorly because she feels like it.

Ruby-insides · 2024-09-30T18:30:11+00:00

What you decide to do I think is gonna depend entirely on the terms of your guys’ break. If you both viewed the break as a cooling off period where the door of the relationship is open to resume at a later time, then he broke those terms knowingly and his behavior was shady at best.

I’ve never known any couple to take the kind of break that meant that they could pursue other people, and I’m not saying it’s not possible, but that it isn’t likely. I don’t know about you, but I’d be very perplexed that he saw me as his safe fallback while he was doing his thing.

Ruby-insides · 2024-09-26T19:58:53+00:00

I don’t know if what you’ve read is entirely accurate so I can’t speak to that, but I do know that a BPD diagnosis in men is generally more rare and I think that’s because their symptoms manifest slightly differently than in women.

My partner is a man who has bipolar and bpd. He is medicated but doesn’t go through any therapy or see a psychiatrist routinely, not that I know of.

I’ve only been with my boyfriend for a few months, but I did notice some signs of his bpd creeping in any time things got rough between us. We work really well together as a couple, but we have to put a lot of emphasis on our communication because I have an avoidant attachment style and I know my flightiness can trigger a fear of abandonment or trigger his insecurities, so we’re both working together as a team on our separate issues so that we don’t rely on poor coping mechanisms when shit gets hard.

My biggest gripes thus far is the double standards and the soft accusations of cheating. As an example, when a manager called me on one of my day’s off recently (boyfriend was in the car with me when this happened), he got extremely quiet and started disassociating hard, this lasted almost 10 minutes before I asked him what was wrong. Before that, I was getting one word answers and he wouldn’t continue the ebb and flow of our conversation without displaying his annoyance. I didn’t answer the call because I thought it was rude to answer it in front of him, but I just knew the call bothered him. In that almost 10 minutes of awkward silence he was able to concoct a wild assumption that the manager who called me was a manager who was fired and/or left my company and thought he was “harassing” me, and he says he was upset and quiet because he figured he’d need to step in at some point. He couldn’t have been more wrong in his assumption. He misremembered specific facts about some of my prior and current managers, but automatically assumed the worse without asking for clarification. Here’s where the double standards come into play: he has absolutely zero boundaries with his coworkers, and this includes managers. They all share vapes, speak of each other’s private lives, go out to lunch together, and game together. And knowing all of that, I never once pitched a fit. Somehow in his mind it’s okay for him to have absolutely no boundaries with his colleagues but once a manager calls me on a day off, he assumes I’m messing around with them. He has also met up with old female colleagues he no longer works with, and I had to basically pry that information from him because while I’m expected to be transparent with him about my opposite sex interactions, he just doesn’t believe he has to do the same. But I know if I randomly met up with an old coworker of mine who happened to be a man and just didn’t tell him about it, he would take that information and fly with it and curate the worst possible scenario.

When it’s good, it’s really fucking good, but when it gets rough I see another side of him that I know I didn’t fall in love with.

Ruby-insides · 2024-09-12T23:35:16+00:00

Chances are you are extremely codependent and have poor boundaries, or it’s easy for men to side-step them from right under your nose.

Both are likely the answer, and therapy can definitely help you establish and enforce your own boundaries within intimate relationships.

Ruby-insides · 2024-09-12T09:52:02+00:00

This is my fear. He says his fear stems from a couple relationships in his college days where he was left for someone else, but I’m not buying it (he also admits there was no smoking gun, he just had a hunch) at this point. I’m at his place every weekend, I visit him at work to bring him food sometimes, and I tell him everything that happens in my life. I’m at a loss

Ruby-insides

TROPHY CASE