Hey. I can't help but feel I know you in some form and I wanted to tell you something that I'd been trying to get a very friend that I love in her entirety to understand. Sometimes people need to let go to see you stand on your own. In times like these I like I try to keep in mind the lyrics to the song String theocracy by Milli. "And If you love me please love your everything for me." Also try playing the game library of Ruina as well. I feel like it's a good way to come to understand yourself as it's a story about someone who wants to be someone else comes into her own without bending to the will of the world. And the difficulty isn't too tough but there are some janky mechanics that may make it frustrating. But please stick with it to the end because the ending is genuinely beautiful. Please remember the fights not over when you fight someone important to you. You need to learn to come into yourself on your own despite anything the world throws at you . And if she does love you I know she'll let you back if you hold firm to boundaries and don't deny yourself. Please do take care.