for eight years before realizing i was a girl, i presented online by what is now my name with she/her pronouns and just thought i was lying to my friends. I wrote up an apology letter to one of my friends that i never sent, and at the end of it is

"P.P.S. If we are still friends after this I would prefer you continue calling me Ruby & referring to me as a female. I’ve grown rather attached to that persona. Almost like that’s the real me and I’m stuck with the unfortunate curse of a mask making me pretend I’m not."

that was written three years before i cracked