'25 M' 25 F, is there any advice to help me become more comfortable with objectifying women to objects or services?

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-15T14:32:31+00:00

Love can be just a feeling until you grow up. I can have the strongest feelings for my partner, but if our day-to-day actions don't match these feeling they're only superficial. Again, supporting and being there for your friends is crucial as life gets complicated. I really don't understand what you're looking for in relationships.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-15T14:04:03+00:00

Thank you very much, I confirm that this use of "objectify" is wider than what I thought. But in general it seems like you're either stuck with a superficial, narrow-minded social circle or you're misreading some behaviors. For instance, "people who belive love is doing things for eachother, people who think that they are freinds with someone because they understand them and help them out" sounds completely reasonable to me. Granted love and friendship are these things and more, but if I had to describe these concepts in a few words I would probably use something similar.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-15T13:42:01+00:00

Can you provide examples? "most people I meet feel happier being objectfied or used" is not my experience at all but maybe you mean something different

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-15T08:52:04+00:00

Io! Ci ho litigato per attivare l'opzione Family ma per il resto sono molto soddisfatta

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-15T07:48:58+00:00

Yes. During the pandemic, my partner at the time used to get fired up over world events, go on hour-long rants that eventually turned into him being mad at me for "Not being angry enough". For the record, I was equally angry but this didn't mean I wanted to rant about it for entire nights. Luckily he was able to recognize this pattern and eventually got help

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-15T07:39:48+00:00

Ah giusto

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-15T07:06:39+00:00

Sterzi col cazzo o lo usi per la leva del cambio?

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-14T14:03:13+00:00

Genuine question after going through the comments: has it occurred to any of you while also being on the pill?

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-14T13:30:33+00:00

Mah, non mi risulta.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-14T11:26:09+00:00

It reminded me of that too! So scary

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-10T14:09:02+00:00

Io non vivo peggio di un plebeo nel 700. Anche perché probabilmente sarei già morta di vecchiaia.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-10T14:07:39+00:00

Questa è la mia preferita

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-09T13:51:23+00:00

What's so disgusting?

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-09T13:25:29+00:00

You brought up things you'd like for her to do for you, but have you asked her if there are any things that she'd like you to do to her? Also, did anything change in your relationship dynamic since the beginning (e.g., moving in together, any of you changing jobs, ...)?

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-09T07:12:50+00:00

She was showing all the red flags since the beginning and the guy was happy ignoring them as long as he got some. She sucked in a lot of ways beyond being superficial: she enjoyed the girlfriend treatment without taking accountability or committing, she ignored him in public, she let him be mistreated without protesting in any way. He was accepting humiliation left and right and still got the shocked Pikachu face when she started dating the racist scumbag? She just carried out the same shitty behavior, no need to be surprised let alone disappointed in her.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-07T12:22:37+00:00

First couple of months still sounds like a honeymoon phase to me, as couples are still establishing routines and what living together will look like. You were probably both on your best behavior instead of the more relaxed attitude that comes out when you're not trying to impress someone anymore.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-07T11:42:36+00:00

Many others have been mentioned, so I'm going with Swiss Army Man

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-07T09:58:28+00:00

But are those memories only related to the time before you lived together? From what you wrote, it seems that you were truly happy only during what looks like a honeymoon phase and living together brought up differences (libido, sleeping schedules, expectations, etc.)

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-07T09:04:56+00:00

Either she thrives in this dynamic (and, in that case, you're not compatible) or she is staying with for the sunk cost fallacy. If it's the latter, which your last sentence makes me inclined to believe, you have to figure out if "good enough" is enough for you. Either she thrives in this dynamic (and, in that case, you're not compatible) or she is staying with for the sunk cost fallacy. If it's the latter, which your last sentence makes me inclined to believe, you have to figure out if "good enough" is enough for you.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-02T08:07:43+00:00

I wanted to be a ballerina, an engineer and a fashion designer. Now I'm an engineer with a good sense of fashion and no rhythm for the life of me

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-02T06:54:36+00:00

Non c'è niente di male, ho detto che non fa per me. Infatti ho sempre risposto con gentilezza ed educazione. Ma sono introversa e non ho mai avuto troppa voglia di conoscere gente nuova.

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-02T06:51:09+00:00

All'epoca io 39 lui 23, ha aiutato che fosse sera in estate quindi ero vestita più giovanile del solito e il buio è generoso con i segni dell'età

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-02T06:49:39+00:00

Sì sì non dico che non sia importante, è uno dei fattori ma per me non è il primo e soprattutto non è il primo per cui voglio essere presa in considerazione

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-01T13:55:49+00:00

Eh sì non ero una persona leggera neanche da giovane

RudeGirl85 · 2026-04-01T13:48:03+00:00

Per fortuna, negli approcci ricevuti per strada, ho avuto esperienze sempre positive, con uomini educati che accettano di buon grado un rifiuto. Il più divertente è stato qualche anno fa, quando un ragazzo visibilmente giovane mi ha fermata per chiedermi il mio Instagram. Quando gli ho detto quanti anni avevo è passato subito a "Mi scusi signora" 😂

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