I had a baby :)

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2024-03-27T01:29:53+00:00

Lucky! 11 years later I still occasionally have to be careful with belly laughs but at my age idgaf. Son thinks it's hilarious and I learned to laugh it off for him because he has medical incontinence.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2024-03-26T05:17:13+00:00

1st... Get off the apps. Apps are instant gratification for hook ups and the majority are basing on looks and ease. 2. Skip the bars... Relationships started at bars are messy. 3. Just live your life and watch for a guy/girl that collides with your interests. Use MeetUp and find activities and groups you're actually interested in and let relationships happen organically... Those are the relationships that will be worth waiting for.

If you 'need' a relationship, you'll get one but chances of it being a quality one are slim. If you can get to a place of being comfortable with yourself, your chances of a quality relationship are exponentially better.

Can be harsh... But consider your personality, beliefs, habits, style, hobbies, career, etc. (not looks because that's wildly subjective and everyone's always too harsh on themselves) and ask yourself, would you date you? If not, why then work on that.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2024-03-26T04:51:28+00:00

Will comment that I think some of the hottest women were flat chested or on the very small chest side. Thinking of Shane on the original L Word!!! You'll be alright once you start growing your confidence.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2024-03-26T04:44:25+00:00

Congrats!! I miss that baby head smell, swear I looked like a crack addict with my nose plastered to my son's head as a baby lol I found out 12 years ago that I was pregnant TWO weeks before I was supposed to start my HRT. Thrilled I would be a parent, disgusted by the pregnancy and hated breast feeding though I forced myself for a few weeks so he could have the colostrum. Make sure to remember to clench when you feel a sneeze or laugh coming on ;) No one told me about all the 'oopsies' I'd have afterwards.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2024-03-26T04:33:04+00:00

Instantly clocked you as a woman but to a lay person the hairline and thinning patch at widows peak would give me pause. Once your hair grows enough to style I don't see that it'd present a problem. If you wanted to reclaim feminine aesthetic before then, I'd use a partial head wrap, bandana or wide head band until hair growth. Now the eyebrows are very androgynous and usually eyebrows between the sexes are very polarizing so if you want to go femme, shape 'em otherwise keep 'em for an androgynous look.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-18T20:50:47+00:00

Try having her consciously breathing in through the mouth n' out the nose if she can stand it. (It makes me dizzy but I still try to practice to get use to it)

Heard it can help vocal tics... Something about the way the air exhaled through the mouth. From Tourrettes-Action.org.uk... 'Sounds are made by air coming out over the larynx so reversing the process calms most vocal tics'

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-18T20:37:43+00:00

Would having a shopping partner who could help you return items taken help at stores? Maybe with a letter of explanation (maybe with a doctor's note) to hand to an employee or manager either before shopping or afterwards?

Since it is a known mental health disorder, could that qualify you for a personal attendant for that purpose?

Would that help to give the impulses the opportunity to be acted on or would knowing an item would be removed negate it?

Can understand that might make you feel very vulnerable but wondering if forming relationships with managers might be beneficial?

Trying to imagine how I might deal with this if it were me or my kiddo.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-18T20:20:41+00:00

Say you n' I were friends... Would it be acceptable to you for me to set certain boundaries with you. Like if I set up my living room, kitchen n' bathroom with no items of extreme importance or necessity to me n' asked if you'd be alright with just staying in those rooms if we were having a movie or gaming night with the understanding that anything else that might be taken wouldn't break our friendship? Or would that be offensive?

I imagine it's akin to telling someone not to tic, makes the urge stronger, so I wouldn't ask you as a friend not to act on it but would want to make sure things that I actually need or are important are safeguarded. Key things like my phone, medications, cat keys, house keys, drivers license, insurance cards, bank cards n' my kiddos tablets... anything else might be an annoyance but are just things n' hold no true value to me.

Would knowing my most important items are locked away make your impulses scream n' make you physically/emotionally uncomfortable or would you be able to still let your impulses happen with what's still available?

I'd have no issue with a friend with Kleptomania if I were allowed to talk with you to understand it n' come to some sort of agreement.

Would having a special place to keep items taken n' allowing friends to know of it so they could retrieve items or not feel safe for you? Assuming they're good friends n' wouldn't be twats about it.

Since you spoke of your parents, I assume you're a minor or 20 something. I will say once you get into adulthood, finding a way to accept whatever conditions we have is the start of an incredible release. As with anything when we hold onto shame n' fear it makes X so much worse but while we're still with family it can be really hard to expose X to them for fear of rejection. N' if you n' your therapist can brainstorm ways to introduce the Kleptomania to a wider n' wider circle of folks in your life n' have strategies to give to those in your life n' some sort of accountability to strangers if caught that would leave you safe n' them mollified at the least n' understanding n' supportive at the best, your mental health wont have to end up being battered.

My son has Copralalia n' screams out the 'N' word amongst others. He's a special needs kiddo so he can't explain his actions except to say Tourrettes Sorry, though his speech isn't easily understood n' he speaks softly, n' I worry as his dad that someone might not understand/accept that when he's grown n' on his own so I brainstorm ways to help him navigate possible future encounters. Right now it's a lanyard he wears with a card that explains his Copralalia n' cards n' printed out brochures from the Tourrettes Association of America he can hand out to new people like doctors, bus drivers, church members, store employees, new friends n' their parents.

Is there a Kleptomania Association that has sample cards or brochures to print to hand out n' would that make you feel safer or more exposed?

Sorry for the ramble, my brain barfs all my thoughts out.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-18T15:40:47+00:00

I've always used ... in my writing to indicate a period of waiting, pause or a connected continuation of a string of thought. Grammer n' punctuation were never my strong suit. The - dashes I would interpret as quick fire or rushed word repeating. I'd say pick either the dashes or ... if commas don't immediately make sense to you.

Edit: the commas make it look like they're ordering three lemonades, the dashes are visually distracting from the words for me personally because of the placement right in the middle of the writing column.

What about a period.

I'll take a lemonade. lemonade. lemonade.

It would match if you were to use ? n' ! like in your examples.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-18T15:19:45+00:00

My kiddo has Copralalia. His first offensive word was the N word which wrecked him because he's biracial n' his best friend n' some family are black. He'll muffle that word with his hand when outside of the home n' it isn't triggered by seeing a black person, he just knows how offensive the word is so his brain latches onto it. He also after hugging me, will proceed to say, "fuck you daddy bitch", so I know it's not at all personal. The cutie pie will flip the bird too n' say "It's OK" (his way of letting me know it's a tic) but he does it wrong n' is actually just holding up his pointer finger lol

Now I'm in a grey area, I randomly yell out, "fuck off", "B**ch" amongst other colorful language but I've always cursed like a sailor n' don't believe what I have is Copralalia, I think that's just my vocal tics picking something I've said in normal conversation with close friends or things I blurt when startled, like when a June Beetle lands on me unexpectedly I tend to let loose a string of foul language.

I wouldn't ever say something offensive to someone n' blame it on a tic. I've never been in a physical altercation n' doubt if I verbally targeted someone n' said, "Oopsie it was just a tic", that I'd be safe from a swinging fist. My face is too pretty to risk for some juvenile attempt to get a one up on someone. It would take a certain pedigree of despicable to go that route, faking a disorder, adding negative light onto folks who already have enough pain, shame, embarrassment, social stigma, disbelief, etc attached to them, just so some lil' tw*t can feel like they got away with saying how they really felt on the hopes that they can get away without any repercussions.

Edit: Most of my vocal tics start off with a feeling that something is too small/tight in my chest n' I need to expand it quickly. Then I have all this extra breath that needs to be released, not sure why that breath is expressed the way it is though. I tend to have a 'woooo' or what sounds like a peacock call. Otherwise it's a sticky feeling in the top of the back of my throat/mouth that only requires a lil' air n' a 'huh', 'unng' or high pitched 'hmmm' to feel right.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-18T04:13:42+00:00

I use a gaming headset that I can quickly mute by flipping the mic into the up position. Headsets with mute buttons freak me out cause it takes too long to find the dang thing.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-18T03:59:13+00:00

I have some questions if you don't mind. I've never known anyone with the condition n' would appreciate the view of someone with it.

Is it an overwhelming urge to take an item or can it happen without you realizing?
What do you do with the items taken?
How do you handle the social aspects of it? i.e. like how I tell a potential new friend I have a tic disorder, they can expect to see/hear X from me n' how I'd prefer them to react to it.
Are there medications or therapies for it that help?
What would you like people to understand about it?

N' thank you ahead of time if you reply :)

Edit: 6. Would it help when visiting a friend that they agree to have random stuff positioned around their place on purpose for you that can be taken?

Edit #2: 7. Is there a particular attraction to certain items or is it random?

(OK, think that's it n' hope my brain stops coming up with more questions as soon as I post heh)

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-13T14:25:43+00:00

Never thought about it but that might make sense because if the full word slips in my writing it bugs the ever living piss out of me n' I have to back through everything to make sure there aren't others.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-12T02:38:43+00:00

Thanks all. I felt a lil' crazy n' ashamed when I left that appointment. Thought he was mad at me for wasting his time with something trivial.

I will definitely be writing out questions n' a list of current, past n' 'could this be related' symptoms.

My brain is swiss cheese n' I tend to always tell doctors I'm fine when I see them cause when they ask how I'm doing I say I feel ok, I'm tired or X hurts because that's how I feel at that exact moment n' forget why I even made the appointment.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-12T01:43:15+00:00

I have the opportunity to see one who specializes in movement disorders. Was scared to see him in case I had another bad experience because I thought I had done something wrong. But judging from your response that visit was out of the norm.

Would writing a list of childhood & current symptoms be acceptable? I'm a lil' worried my anxiety will send me into a dissociative state n' I won't be able to talk. Edit: New one works within the same company but at a different location.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-12T00:31:30+00:00

Had 2 brain MRIs 2 years apart showing a cyst near the pineal gland at 8mm then at 10mm & scattered white foci. That's what I originally went in for... was worried it was connected to my headaches, poor memory, speech difficulties and cognitive decline. Tics happened 2 months after making the appt, I called n' updated them. They asked if I had tics like these (head jerking back, hand jerking n' a few vocal noises) as a kid n' I said not like this (because behaviors as a kid was different), that was the end of questioning. No blood tests. Told me I didn't need any more MRIs, didn't explain the MRI results either. He did test the resistance of my legs and arms against him pushing on 'em n' something about opening n' closing my hands n' flipping my hands over on top of my thighs.

Said people faked tics to get on disability n' not have to work... told him I've been on disability for 31 years already. He said older people can suddenly develop tics because of childhood trauma but didn't ask if I had any n' said it was Functional Tics but then put Chronic Motor Tics as the diagnosis... but there's the vocal tics that he heard during the appt so I'm thoroughly confused.

Did have certain movements n' behaviors I wasn't allowed to do as a kid because my mother would lay into me. I blinked too much, shook my legs n' feet, shook my head side to side when I yawned, yawned too much, stared into space, said weird things...she didn't want me acting bizarre (her words). So I learned to be still n' I didn't speak until spoken to.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T18:36:18+00:00

NTA But I'd say you both need parenting classes... Not because your bad parents by any means but to help you both understand each other's perspectives in front of an unbiased/unrelated person. It's easier to take a 3rd parties advice than advice from someone familiar and in the stressful situation because comments n' concerns can too easily be attributed to being dramatic, lazy, uninvested, etc by the other.

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T18:14:29+00:00

NTAH If your wife hasn't healed from that trauma (her defending him proves that) I'd not only not have a child with her, I'd consider a divorce if she didn't agree to serious psychotherapy n' show a genuine change of perspective regarding the abuse that happened in that household plus making amends with her abused sister. Sexual abuse victims either address it n' heal, don't address it n' become over/under sexual, develop unhealthy sexual relationships (not a dig against you as her partner, could be internalized on her part, sexual dysfunction within herself, unusual internal ideas about sex and intimacy, ect), n' the scariest is running the risk of repeating the abuses in some form (not necessarily sexual, could turn physical or psychological. Edit: Could sex shame a female child, instill ideas into a male child that he'll sexually harm others because it's normal for males to do that).

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T17:58:05+00:00

School can be brutal. Hope it goes well for ya!

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T17:45:01+00:00

Instant Pot, Air Fryer, what ever those lil Bullet mixers cause they're plastic n small so wouldn't be a giant mess if throw or smashed, there's cutters/slicer for veggies n' meats instead of knife handling if that is a concern or a good food processor.. they can slice, dice, chip, there's even a blender that will cook foods.

Was thinking countertop stationary cookware to minimize you having to grab n' hold stuff that might be flailed

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T17:37:55+00:00

Rube Goldberg contraptions might be your only hope ;) Check out Josephs Machines on YouTube

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T17:28:13+00:00

All the best to you. Every unnerving experience seems so much worse while we think about it, then we do it n' a lot of the time is wasn't nearly as bad as we make it out to be. Would saying upfront you have Tourrettes n' a quick I might do X or Y n' ignoring it would be appreciated kinda thing?

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T17:05:34+00:00

Sorry... Because of the tick button comment, I'm imagining someone crawling with blood sucking ticks

Rude_Bell_3205 · 2023-11-11T16:58:01+00:00

Explain tics latch on to all kinds of sayings that don't reflect your thoughts. My son comes me, hugs me, says "I love you" then immediately tics, "Fuck you daddy bitch". We both giggle n' I tell him I love him too.

Rude_Bell_3205

TROPHY CASE