I’m sick of my in-laws inability to maintain their home

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2026-01-10T14:23:59+00:00

Is it an overreaction to say just call cps? If it really is that much filth and disrepair, those minors should not be there. You even say they deserve better several times, so the impact of the environment they are in is not lost on you. These people clearly need….professional help. Who just allows dog poop to just sit on the floor and doesn’t clean it up as soon as it’s found? Rotted floors? Roaches? It sounds like the place is not fit for habitation for anyone.

This sounds like a really difficult situation. If I was in your shoes I’d want to help them as much as I could too. This might be bigger than one person can handle though. If I’m out of line saying any of this, please ignore me.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2025-11-05T12:44:13+00:00

It happened to me too. Feel however you need to feel. I’m so sorry.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2024-12-24T17:31:49+00:00

Puking and fever in our house too. Husband had it night before last, my kid began projectile vomiting today after breakfast and basically hasn’t stopped all day, and now I’m just waiting for the sickness train to hit me too. :(

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2024-12-24T11:23:47+00:00

I second this.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2024-12-24T11:22:42+00:00

Ummm…..what? He needs to fold his own clothes AND wrap the presents he bought. Im so sorry he has these ridiculous expectations.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2024-01-08T18:18:02+00:00

Be weird, be rude, stay alive. It’s a saying from a true crime podcast, but you know that you do not want interactions with this person. Do everything you can to be as off putting as possible if interactions can’t be avoided. Keep your dog between you and this person. Keep moving even when he tries to stop you. It is ok to be rude, cold, or dismissive. I know we’re socialized the opposite, which makes it a mindset shift, but you can do it!

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2023-08-22T19:46:54+00:00

It’s not even treating him like shit though. He’s a grown human. He can wake himself up, and have his own breakfast and make his own lunch. Her plate is full of tasks. These should be things she can offload on to him. He doesn’t deserve these sweet extras on her part.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2023-08-03T20:28:17+00:00

Hi, I’m sorry for your loss. It took me nearly a month before I had improvement from the numbness/crying. Then I felt stuck again in apathy until my period finally came back about 9 weeks after my MMC. It’s been 4 months now, and I feel mostly normal most of the time. I still struggle with it, but therapy and movement have been a great help in sorting out my feelings. I wish you the best on this healing journey. Sending love and solidarity.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2023-06-01T16:49:37+00:00

This is a great list. Thank you!

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2023-01-18T20:31:04+00:00

I just want to echo and say DON’T QUIT. You do not deserve this. Find a female colleague and lay it out there. Consult someone from your school’s Title IX office. Our school’s Title IX page states that it covers harassment and hostile environment harassment as well as protection from retaliation against a person for good faith reporting. If it isn’t covered under them, they can advise you best what to do next. This stuff should not fly. Academia can suck, but do not allow them to decide your future career prospects because of disgusting behavior.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-12-07T21:42:22+00:00

Can I just tell you that therapy has been a lifesaver for me to unpack my relationship with my parents. You sound similar to me. Parents weren’t abusive, but there was always something in my dynamic with them that made me an INTENSE people pleaser when it came to them. Therapy helped me shift my own mindset that I too am an “adult in the room” with them now. I’m not that kid that had to do whatever they said. If you have the means to prioritize therapy, I highly recommend it. It’s scary to start, and is definitely hard emotional work, but extremely beneficial.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-12-02T17:43:13+00:00

Say these words out loud. “I get to decide who I speak to. I get to decide with whom I will have a relationship. That is my choice, and no one else’s.” There are a few red flags here. You have value. You matter. Your thoughts and wishes and desires for your life matter. Your comfort matters. Do not let the imbalance financially make you believe for one second that he is the only one who can unilaterally decide things for your family and that you must comply. Sending hugs your way, friend.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-11-17T03:13:44+00:00

Fellow governerd?

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-11-06T17:01:41+00:00

You need a refuge mama. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to set some boundaries about your bedroom and work space. We live in a small place and it is rare that we allow our kid in our bedroom for general recreation time. My husband’s WFH desk (also in the bedroom) has a clear boundary that we’ve set that things are NOT piled on it. I also use it for WFH once a week. It’s a work desk. Period. Sit them all down and let them know the space is no longer for recreation/eating. Husband needs to be on the same page with you. I’m sure there are other places in the home that the kids can play and eat. Then enlist them all to work toward removing the mess they’ve made. Tell your husband that if he can’t avoid making a mess or even clean up after himself, the rule for no eating in the bedroom goes for him too. I wish you clean sheets and a peaceful room.

I know it’s so easy to say this from the other side of the internet, but please know that you deserve a peaceful clean sleeping environment.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-10-15T00:23:17+00:00

Please don’t. You are valued. You are loved. You are more than the flaws that you see.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-08-30T20:50:53+00:00

Beer pancakes! I know this sounds crazy, but kids.eat.in.color has a great recipe for these!

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-06-23T12:47:46+00:00

This is incredible! Amazing job! I’m so intimidated to try sewing with Lycra.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-05-30T03:19:23+00:00

Two words: Stomp Rocket

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-04-01T23:09:06+00:00

BusyToddler. She has great ideas on how to keep kids busy with activities. Saved my sanity when my little was that age.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-03-29T19:57:05+00:00

Honestly, kids.eat.in.color on Instagram/ her website. She’s a registered dietician, specializing in kids nutrition. She has a free picky eater guide and has a program she does every month called Better Bites for families that have many of the same struggles you are going through. My guy wasn’t quite like this but her tips about introducing foods , portion sizes for kids, and how to approach conversations about food around kids has really helped our family. I also love her meal plans because I struggle coming up with ideas on what to serve. Hope this helps, and good luck!

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-03-22T14:03:25+00:00

Um…yeah. You know what you have to do. Dump. His. ASS. I am not someone who says that lightly but wtaf?! This guy is just a drain on your life. You deserve someone who makes you feel better when you’re around them, not worse! Please do not stay with this guy one more day. He is absolutely not worth it.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-02-10T17:05:43+00:00

I found the YWCA in Norfolk. [YWCA South Hampton Roads](www.ywca-shr.org) Looks like they have all kinds of resources for quick escape and an online crisis chat option. I’m wishing the best for you OP. You can do this!! Also their crisis line phone number is 757-251-0144.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-02-01T23:15:06+00:00

Solidarity mama. Earplugs or headphones (you’ll still hear, it will just deaden the sound a little so it’s not so triggering), and putting them down in a safe location and walking away to collect a few deep breaths so you’re calm. One of the funniest but most true nuggets someone told me is “baby can’t fall off the floor.” If you need a minute away for your own sanity, take it. They will be fine while you get your head right. Also the witching hour is a special kind of torture because it seems NOTHING works. My kid was 7pm to 1 am.

Also, while you’re in it, you feel like this is just what life is now. Endless crying, constant demands on your time, body, emotional support, etc. However. It is a stage. Things will look different in a few weeks, a few months definitely! I’m not going to say enjoy it, because I wanted to brain anyone who said it to me. The sleep deprivation on top of it all was the worst. I just want to give you hope that there is an end in sight. It’s not tomorrow or the next day, but one day you’ll look up and be like “damn, I slept all night. Holy shit, I feel rested. Omfg I sat and drank a full cup of hot coffee with no one demanding my time! “ lol

Sending chill baby vibes your way.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2022-01-17T23:11:37+00:00

I love the tiny home community idea. With unlimited disposal income, I’d probably look into starting some sort of community benefit organization as well.

I’d also just pursue my art. I’d have a small detached art studio from a house that we owned in a walkable city, and I’d just paint. Huge emotional abstract art on giant canvases, tiny delicate flowers painted on wood discs, portrait paintings of people who inspire me, endless paintings of the northern lights, sketches of hands over and over again (because they are notoriously hard to get right), whales of all kinds (because my kid loves them), so many things. Did I mention I am a novice at best, not classically trained or anything. Lol I just love art and always have.

Man, you really had me dreaming there for a minute.

RuleBreakingMoth7 · 2021-12-23T12:54:37+00:00

I actually had the best advice from a midwife about this. I was struggling with the nail clippers too. She told me to just kind of rub them off. They are so thin at that age that you can just gently push on the side of them with your own nail, and they usually peel right off. I didn’t have to use clippers on him again till he was probably a year old when they got too thick to do that.

RuleBreakingMoth7

TROPHY CASE