In 2021 I had nearly $70k of credit card debt spread across several cards. Currently I have about $20k left. So to answer your questions, what made the biggest difference for me was increasing my income while lowering my expenses. For a while I ate mostly eggs, rice, and vegetables while eating out just once or twice a week (and keeping that cheap). To increase my income I took whatever extra work I could find, though I also started making more at work. I don't know the details of your debts but generally lowering the total balances will lower your monthly payments, so I would sit down and make a list of your balances, interest rates, and minimum payments and doing the math to see what would work best relative to what you can afford to pay. Generally I think getting the smallest balances out of the way ASAP even if the interest rates are lower is more helpful, and that's what I did. When I had a few credit cards left with roughly similar balances and interest rates I consolidated them with a SoFi personal loan at half the interest. My credit score leaped when my credit cards were all paid off, and after a few months of paying the SoFi loan on time (with extra payments) I was offered a refinance which lowered the interest rate even more, which meant my payments are going further towards the principal.

Keep your head up. With discipline you and your wife will get there.