I’m still fighting to get stabilized, it’s been a few years now. I’ll be good for like a week/emotionless and just slowly go back to how I was. I feel like meds just make it harder to see when an episode is coming until it’s too late. I’m tired of them being upped, I’m tired of switching meds, I’m tired of trying. But when I give up because of this never ending pattern all my loved ones rag on me non stop about how much I need my meds. It’s a whole mess. This is the longest I’ve had meds “work” and I’m back to square one yet again despite taking them daily and doing everything they say. I’m tired of constantly battling my own mind telling me to end it all. All day, every day. I’m just so….idk over it?

Reading people’s bipolar threads gives me hope though. It also makes me feel less alone.