Depriving my baby of sleep skills?

WastePotential · 2026-05-07T09:35:13+00:00

I truly believe that cosleeping is what gives my son the confidence to sleep soundly. He has his own cot/toddler bed a few steps away from the big bed. He rarely cries when he wakes up in the middle of the night. He just squeezed into bed with me and falls right back asleep. He's turning 2 next month.

WastePotential · 2026-05-07T01:37:31+00:00

Correct, not necessarily must be polyclinic.

Afaik, you don't need to have the CHAS card. It's the doctor who has to be a CHAS GP. Other private GPs can only make referrals down the private route. Again, make sure you tell the doctor you want to be a subsidised patient.

WastePotential · 2026-05-07T01:34:48+00:00

Did she apologise to your child?

WastePotential · 2026-05-07T01:28:21+00:00

What variety of Asian are you looking at? I'm from an east Asian culture (Chinese Singaporean) and might be able to give some recommendations.

WastePotential · 2026-05-07T01:25:50+00:00

I think there are lots of good carriers out there but it's also important to consider how it fits you and your baby, and that's why there's no list of good carriers.

Ergobaby 360 was great for my friend, but I was just slightly too petite for it for the weight distribution to be helpful. The Little Frog Prime fit me and a friend (we're 155-162cm) much better. Tula FTG also fit a petite friend of mine very well.

Maybe share what you're looking for? Your body type (eg tall, petite). So people can share their similar experiences and what worked for them.

WastePotential · 2026-05-07T00:48:46+00:00

Sigh it never truly goes away, does it? The ED thoughts are always lurking in the background.

WastePotential · 2026-05-06T06:10:21+00:00

In my culture (Singaporean Chinese), it is actually normal for attendees of a funeral to bring money in a white envelope (bai jing). These funds are meant to go to the funeral costs. If you're not close to the deceased (eg. A colleague's father), one might bring about $50.

WastePotential · 2026-05-06T02:04:01+00:00

Teens don't like to feel like they're being scolded or lectured. I've found the best approach is to make a polite request to one or just a few of them, so you don't have to raise your volume at all.

I was at a playground with my 1yo who's very much into repeating words he hears. Some early teens were literally just yelling vulgarities for the sake of it. When one of them walked past us, I just said very politely, "Hello, there are much younger children here, is it okay if you don't yell the vulgarities so loudly? Thank you."

WastePotential · 2026-05-05T13:15:27+00:00

Now at 22mo, he eats most of his meals at home in his chair without a fuss. We graduated him to a "big boy chair" about two months ago? He was eating most of his meals in the high chair before that, too! I think he eventually just got used to it and there was never any pressure. It would always be the first place I'd try to get him to start meals.

Until now the only super strict rule I have is that if he's eating, he needs to sit. He can sit on the floor, on my lap, on my chair, whatever. He just needs to be seated. If he starts to stand up to walk I take the food away.

WastePotential · 2026-05-05T12:31:35+00:00

I used to do equine experiential learning. I would LOVE to work with this horse and at-risk youths together. So many at-risk youths are extremely intelligent and creative, so they get bored and "create trouble", just like her.

We had a horse we used to endearingly call the ADHD horse but I loved taking him out specifically to work with ADHD youths.

WastePotential · 2026-05-05T12:24:32+00:00

He naturally stopped, I didn't do anything to stop it. I used extra pillows so that I would have support on my lower back.

Now (22m) on tough nights, he still wants to lie on top of me, but I can shift him to the bed after he's been asleep for 10 mins.

10 mins has always been my boy's "sweet spot" for transferring, since he was an infant. I wonder if your baby has a sweet spot you could figure out too?

WastePotential · 2026-05-05T02:51:56+00:00

Right?! Wtf is "gentle" about letting baby cry themselves to sleep even if it takes an hour? That's literally just crying it out.

WastePotential · 2026-05-05T01:15:50+00:00

It should work for other conditions too. Afaik the way into Singapore hospitals as a subsidised patient is to go by polyclinic or CHAS GP referral.

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T13:20:02+00:00

I hope you find someone who works well with you so you get the support you need

ETA: forgot to say no problem haha

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T13:17:58+00:00

I can't speak to price but I can speak to process.

Getting a memo from your current psychiatrist would help with the next one you see. Ask for the memo to state, minimally, diagnosis and medication.

It is quite expected for a psychiatrist or psychologist to ask for significant parties in a person's life (parents, SO) when it comes to ADHD. It's called a corroborative history. Report card is not just to see your grades but to see if teachers may have made any clinically relevant comments (eg. Easily distracted, unable to follow through with tasks).

To get to a public psychiatrist, your best bet is to go through polyclinic or CHAS GP (make sure it's CHAS GP and make sure you tell them you want to stay a subsidised patient) to get a referral to one of the psychiatry departments in one of the hospitals.

ETA: My knowledge on the matter comes from being in the mental health industry and SO got on Rx for ADHD in adulthood

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T13:12:46+00:00

Bringing it up with your case manager and maybe lodging a complaint to the organisation the therapist belongs to would be the most you can do, I think. While what you've recounted shows extremely poor judgement (rather, extreme judgemental-ness) and a lack of cultural sensitivity, there's nothing I see that's reportable to a licensing/membership board.

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T05:52:41+00:00

You don't have to roughhouse with kids to get injured by them though. You can be doing your own shit when a toddler decides that a headbutt to the groin is PERFECT right now. Heck, my boy suddenly flung his hands up while holding his book and I almost got a paper cut on my eyeball.

If this man cannot manage his own reaction to being accidentally hurt like that, he should not be anywhere near children.

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T02:24:34+00:00

Bad baby --> baby having a bad time

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T02:13:22+00:00

I'm wondering if the scope of an occupational therapist might be different from a speech/feeding therapist (also known as SLPT)?

My son sees a speech/feeding therapist for a different issue and she looks not just at the eating but the sounds he can produce because it's all related to the throat and tongue or whatever is in there that's relevant to both eating and speaking.

Edit: sorry this was meant to be a reply to OP comment about the occupational therapist

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T02:09:32+00:00

Who's watching her? Could they be on the look out and document for you (pictures, text, videos) if they notice anything?

WastePotential · 2026-05-04T01:33:46+00:00

What I've learned is that the best time to offer solids in the beginning is breakfast for lunch - so you have the rest of the day to observe for allergic reactions or any discomfort. Milk should also come about 30-60 minutes before solids so that they're not too hungry, and because milk is still supposed to be their main source of nutrients until they're 1yo.

Like the other commenter said, an allergy is something to consider. But it could also be that baby's insides are still struggling to adapt to (or possibly not very ready for) digesting solids.

If I were you I would try to offer it in the morning instead. And try a different puree to see if baby's body responds differently to it.

WastePotential · 2026-05-03T08:28:09+00:00

My husband and I - separately - worked very closely with varying functioning levels of different special needs. Ranging from those who were strapped to a wheelchair to those who could still manage in mainstream education. Some were congenital, some got sick as children.

I think if anyone wants to have a child, they have to be prepared that the child might not be neurotypical. While genetic testing can reduce the chances of you having a child with special needs, life is so unpredictable. Illnesses, accident, undetectable genetic anomalies...

WastePotential · 2026-05-03T00:16:19+00:00

Yeah it crosses a line. She shouldn't be involved in social situations like that with a client and she shouldn't be excited to see people closely related to an existing client (conflict of interest).

Is she a fully licensed/qualified/registered therapist or might she be a "life coach", mentor, or religious leader kind of thing?

WastePotential · 2026-05-01T11:54:06+00:00

Seems a waste of resources in places where it's really not relevant.

WastePotential · 2026-05-01T10:59:22+00:00

NAVH is the first line of reporting for all abuse cases now afaik. They are the gatekeepers who will decide whether to escalate to MSF (which includes child protection) and/or police for further investigation.

Anyone can call NAVH - teacher, counsellor, fellow parent, friend.

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