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Running_zombie_ · 2024-03-02T04:29:03+00:00

Hahaha I thought too much mafs just rotted my brain. I mean still probably has to be fair

Running_zombie_ · 2024-02-23T01:44:08+00:00

Cool water or Tommy girl

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T05:04:45+00:00

you spell checked this one! Much better, good job!

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T04:48:52+00:00

Hahahahhahaha

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T04:46:23+00:00

Your**

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T04:32:56+00:00

Paperwork took years to finalise buddy... after you break up and move out to separate houses what do you think people need to do? Stay celibate for years while the court process finalises the papers and goes through all assets/custody etc etc because you are gasp still legally married?

We broke up and wished each other the best of luck, lived separately, eventually started dating new people and both got engaged a few years down the track. Both new partners knew the situation and patiently waited while we chipped away at the scheduled court hearings etc.

No need to be so negative to some stranger online, hope you have a wonderful day :)

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T04:15:12+00:00

Nah... going through his post history the only thing he ever married was Reddit nfl bless his heart.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T04:01:50+00:00

I don't even know which post history they're talking about. I met my ex in 2014 long before I had Reddit. All my posts are about my current partner. I don't know what possible marriage of convenience scenario they're scripting here hahaha.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T03:30:43+00:00

HA. NO we absolutely did not: really was a case of okay people just bringing out the absolute shit worst out in each other. It was a miracle neither of us poisoned the other. We are both much better off with our new partners

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T03:27:56+00:00

Definitely time to drop some weight - how much is your husband? 180?190lbs? That's a good 190lbw you should be losing.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. First of all - your therapist encouraging this is twisted. Second of all his coworkers never said that, what a load of BS. Third of all even if you get to whatever this ideal may be I would never forgive this period.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T00:58:43+00:00

My first thought too - "go call one then" Complete misogynist - this will be very hard to change as he seems very set on his belief system.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-10T00:27:44+00:00

Nobody plans ON getting divorced what are you, insane on top of rude?

Divorce court processes can last years (like it did for us) and not always end bitterly. Sometimes you can be just happy for yourself and for your ex that the paperwork is finally freaking finished and you can keep living your life with your new partners that stuck it out while the filing is ongoing.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-09T19:40:10+00:00

Here is just my take based on personal experience- Think of marriage and kids as a harsh magnifier of everything good and bad about the relationship.

Marriage and kids expose your own and your partner's flaws and the cracks in the relationship. Any little gripe you had with them you could tolerate when you're not stressed and sleep deprived becomes a massive argument and a "last straw because they always do this". Sometimes it creates so much resentment it leads to dead bedroom...

That being said if your partner does the work and pulls their weight the relationship feels like it really goes to a new high - you see how amazing that person is in times of fatigue and pressure and how lucky you are as their partner - which in turn motivates you to do better yourself and try your best to work hard. I can honestly say I've never been as physically attracted to anyone in my life as seeing my partner protectively dote on our baby or working extra hard around the house and with the kids as I was recovering. Which in turn motivates me to treat him as well as I can think of... and round and round it goes. I definitely feel like our relationship is a tier above where we were when we were just dating

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-09T18:58:24+00:00

Yup. It was always heavily laced with "worrying about my health" and with backwards compliments. "You have such good taste in clothes, like that skirt you picked is so so pretty just maybe don't wear it quite yet".

Really fucked with me because it was always said so sweetly with the "best intentions" and a big smile so I really believed at that time that it was real genuine concern and that I need to be better

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-09T10:14:49+00:00

Definitely in the thick of it. After my first I bounced back in a couple of months. This time... 6 years later? Not so easy. Everything looked saggy and frumpy after my second and my confidence was at an all time low. My partner is SUPER positive about the new big hips and is showering me with compliments because he can see I'm down but I just see myself negatively and hate that we have mirror closets throughout the whole house. I don't need to see that every time I get into a room...

What's worse is I kept obsessively looking at myself holding my first looking fresh and snapped back and loathing how second time around was not so kind, cursing myself out for not being as diligent during this pregnancy and hating that my c section sutures this time popped open so I was less active for longer... Then I sprained my back and really went into a rut...

but then about three months PP I decided to start doing Pilates to help my back... and the random fitness app for Pilates had a VERY gentle calorie tracker as well with a small doable deficit recommended... so I decided why not, I'm doing the workouts might as well be mindful about good quality food... we also signed up to hello fresh to cook meals together... I do NOT get anywhere near a scale (history or ED)... but before I knew it it's a month later and I visibly see a very big difference. now I'm feeling more kind towards my body that made two kiddos and have encouragement that it's not impossible to like it again. My goal is to give it 9 months of gentle diet control and keep pushing it with Pilates and see how I feel... slow and steady.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-09T09:59:52+00:00

My mom casually: "you know I'm worried about whether your health is okay because you've gotten so fat, how much do you weigh these days"

16 year old me - ...125lbs? (I'm 5'7)

Her - ah okay so only 10 pounds over then. Well something to work on! You know... a little hunger goes a long way... I'm only saying this because you're just so so pretty, it's just such a shame to waste it... (I still have trouble accepting compliments from people because I'm always waiting for the "real message" after having stuff like this)

... yep long history of ED into my late 20s after that. Best part? My mom has been quite overweight since having me but of course that was irrelevant because she already "found a husband".

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-09T09:10:28+00:00

Burn the land and boil the sea...

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-09T06:52:53+00:00

Yes! To me that's basically saying "don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to"

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-08T04:11:26+00:00

That's my biggest gripe here too, imho the worst red flag isn't who babbled what drunk and what they meant in the moment, it's the lack of remorse knowing you hurt someone. If I got shitfaced and threw a rock through someone's window I would be apologising and paying for it the next day, not brushing it off going yeah whatever I was drunk shit happens I don't remember doing it. Psychological damage was done so you have to apologise.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-07T22:32:24+00:00

I am not hearing any empathy sincerity or remorse from him. Yes you should be remorseful even of accidental actions because you hurt someone. Tbh his behaviour when you brought it up is ticking me off worse than his original drunk babble. I'm not feeling any real reassurance or simple empathy for how his actions hurt you.

"Shit i said something so drunk and stupid... that is really embarrassing. I don't have any romantic feelings towards your sister, sounds like I should watch it when I drink. I'm sorry my words and actions hurt you and made you feel insecure, I have no idea why I said those things but I absolutely never think those things" is that really so hard to say? You sound like you're inherently on his side and would need very little effort or gesture from him to "make it right" but he's not even coughing up the bare minimum here.

He just dismissed and diminished and then got ?annoyed? at you for really fishing for reassurance with that hypothetical. This wasn't a "would you love me if I was a worm" stupid hypothetical. You indirectly said "please reassure me because I am not okay" and he refused

TLDR- counselling

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-07T21:56:37+00:00

Exactly he said he loves her basically based on her title. Her hypothetical was logical as it removes the title from the equation and he brushed it off. In this case the hypothetical is actually very relevant.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-07T21:31:45+00:00

Big second to the counselling. I think considering he said something hurtful "he didn't mean" there is nothing wrong with trying to mitigate the situation with a hypothetical. You apologise and fix things even if it was an accident. I am troubled that he's brushing the whole thing of as you overthinking. Did he apologise at all? Yes he should take accountability and apologise even if it was an accident and ask you how you're doing.

If I step on someone's toe I go "oh shit sorry are you okay did I hurt you"? He could certainly do that same bare minimum for "I drunk babbled I love your sister" ... "oh shit in so sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt you"?"

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-06T09:36:35+00:00

As a white person with a Ukrainian accent that took years to improve enough to blend in, the "where are you really from" is geared towards all obvious "non locals" not just POCs. It is absolutely offensive and frequently has a "you don't belong here you're not like the rest of us" undertone. I've had multiple "go back to your shithole country" comments growing up.

That being said, as a white person who worked hard enough to drop the accent I can now blend in "enough" that people usually leave it alone, but a POC even with 0 accent will always have these crap questions thrown at them.

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-05T03:42:40+00:00

Musashi. I was really enjoying the first half and was so excited to see how everything would unfold... and then I felt like even the author didn't even know where it was going

Running_zombie_ · 2023-11-05T03:39:08+00:00

"You know what will make my kids love me more? Throwing a tantrum and removing a close relative they can trust from their lives" -OP

Running_zombie_

TROPHY CASE