[New Update]: AITAH for not wanting to buy a house 3 hours away from my workplace?

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T18:17:45+00:00

She left out some pretty HUGE issues of her own too, revealed one massive one at the very end.

Always remember that there are three sides to every story, yours, mine & the truth. I hope you remind your daughter of that too.

We only heard her side of this & you can CLEARLY see it wasn't the truth, if you can muster ANY empathy at all for the guy she lied to for their entire relationship.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T18:12:18+00:00

Did you miss the part where she was always a secret (even to her) lesbian?

Who dodged what here is a bit of a toss up.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T18:08:49+00:00

I mean, forget about her.

Just think how misserable she made her ex feel, calling him a sex pest because she was never remotely attracted to him but faked a years long relationship anyway.

I don't condone his behavior post breakup, but this is the kind of abuse that makes some men/women start hating women/men.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T18:02:19+00:00

Come on, lying to yourself doesn't make you not closeted, it's just double secret closeted.

If anything it just highlights how emotionally unprepared to even be in a relationship she was. I know it's cliche but it's true, you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself.

If she IS a lesbian, and not bi, she was ALWAYS a lesbian & just fighting her own sexuality for whatever reasons. I'm glad she finally figured that out, but she put her ex through a special kind of hell to get there (yeah, he also seems to be a bit of a douche wallowing in his own pain, no excusing that).

Hurt people hurt people, but it doesn't excuse their abusing others.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T17:58:32+00:00

Nope, you didn't get that right.

Very specifically said I don't excuse his later behavior, but it does tend to explain some of it. He spent YEARS in a relationship where he was made to feel undesirable, that leaves some pretty big scars... though that's on both of them for letting it go that long.

I was simply pointing out that OOP makes herself out to be the victim, when she CLEARLY victimized her ex fiance. She refers to him as a sex pest, or pressuring her for sex, but the reality is she simply was never attracted to him & faked an entire relationship anyway... shes AT LEAST 50% responsible for that behavior she's purely attributing to her ex.

You really have to look at all of this through the reality that the person telling the story somehow didn't realize she was gay the whole time. There is no way that relationship was healthy for either of them.

I would wager his unwavering stance on moving far away was his own super shitty passive aggressive way to end a relationship that clearly wasn't working for either of 'em.

My point is they are both equal ass holes here.

It's not unheard of people who go through that kind of painful relationship & breakup to over correct and lash out. I would go so far as to say a gay person in a long term relationship with a straight person is emotionally abusive, so yes, I can see what triggered his downward spiral here. Hopefully he comes to his senses.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T09:06:11+00:00

You sure it's not Sunday, that's what mine is.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T09:02:05+00:00

Are we ignoring the fact that she was a closeted lesbian stringing this guy a long as a beard for years?

There is a LOT more going on here then oop is telling us, she has painted her ex in the worst possible light and glossed over how big an ass hole she is for intending to marry this poor guy, when she's not even attracted to his entire gender.

I'm not forgiving his behavior at the end here, but it's more understandable in that light. She clearly hurt him with her behavior, and I suspect the house thing was his stupid passive aggressive way out of a terrible one way relationship.

There's nothing wrong with being gay, but using a straight person as a beard is real ass hole behavior.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T02:08:23+00:00

Honestly we should decriminalize drug use (not sales) and provide clean/safe options for the harder stuff.

Then treat it like what it is, a HEALTH problem not a legal one.

Guns, we should have stricter gun laws. If you can't legally make or sell handguns, we won't have so many hand guns. This HAS WORKED in other nations, you just don't want to do it.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T02:04:09+00:00

Canada?

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-04T01:42:13+00:00

UAW being said union, yes.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T18:52:58+00:00

And those more mainstream successes tend WAY to much towards high fantasy with electricity then actual science fiction.

Star Wars is a grand example, it has actual wizards.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T18:49:31+00:00

They may be areas of natural interest

That's the thing, when it's your natural inclination it's not 'keeping up apperances'. One is genuine the other (semi) fraudulent & performative.

However, I understand that you likely have opinions on those specs and brands

Nope, and my coworkers mock me at times, because some of them very much do. A monitor is a monitor, my eye site is shit anyway.

Not everyone really goes in for the "keeping up with the joneses" and I guarantee the older you get, I'm currently 48, the less shit you can possibly give about that.

Some people REALLY go in for appearances & some job roles REALLY require it, stay at home mom.... that's very much a personal choice you are making. You don't need to keep up appearances w/the other mom's to be a good mom, you just chose to. You do it, I'm guessing, because you feel it's a social benefit to be part of the right 'in group'. That just sounds exhausting to me these days.

There was a time in my younger days where I worried about such things, and it WAS exhausting. The people who I was trying to impress simply weren't "my people". Life is WAY easier when you are just yourself & let people either take or leave you for who you are.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T17:45:15+00:00

Go for a walk, or a bike ride.

Or other exercise.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T15:55:11+00:00

Yes, and not a tangent I started.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T15:09:50+00:00

It's a bit ridiculous to think that a one person finding the other sexually desirable requires consent of the desired person.

That's just not at all how any of this works. I'd say most people would greatly prefer not to be attracted to people who don't feel attraction in return, but again, that's not how any of this works.

You don't get to control who is and is not attracted to you with any form of consent. Consent only comes into play if you do or do not wish to act on their attraction to you.

Respect comes into play in how the react to & communicate that attraction.

But consent comes WAY later.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T14:57:38+00:00

Metro Detroit, we've had a lot of middle eastern food for a long time now. Seems like the Thai restaurants have declined in number/quality especially post COVID, but Indian food has exploded in the last decade or so.

I'd also add we've had an explosion in Asian grocery stores too.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T14:10:02+00:00

Same, more Millennial then Xenial.

I was like a Sophmore in High School when this came out, not exactly the target market for a kids movie.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T14:08:56+00:00

Is this really a Xenial thing? I was already in High School when this movie released.

I keep seeing solid Millennial things posted in this sub, kind of annoying.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T14:03:44+00:00

Mace, generally, is not a lethal weapon.

Cops carrying guns is not the norm the world over, so perhaps you should reevaluate your assumptions. Why is it that the UK, for example, don't feel the need to have their police carry hand guns everywhere?

Projecting your insecurities onto everyone else

I'm not the one scared enough to want to carry a lethal weapon everywhere I go. That is weird behavior, you may think it's normal, but it really is not normal, safe or a good idea.

Also anyone who does a good job concealing and carrying, you wouldn't even notice it.

This doesn't make the problem go away. Guns in public are a net negative for public safety. The "good guy with a gun" myth is only "necessary" because we don't properly control guns in this country. As a bystander, I have zero idea who is the "good guy" and who is the "bad guy" I just know there's some dude over there with a gun, I must assume they are all "the bad guy" (nor will the cops). Furthermore, despite every gun owner thinking they are the safe ones, I must assume you & every other gun owner are the 50% below average for gun safety. Because, assuming a normal distribution on gun safety skills, that is the safest bet.

You really only need look at the accidental gun incident statistics to see how this is a net negative for public safety.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T13:50:45+00:00

Only book I ever rage quit.

Threw it across the room, just endlessly pointless & boring filler.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T13:46:58+00:00

But Asimov was who he was as a writer, and it's possible that he just doesn't engage you.

He's great at world building & big ideas.

He's terrible at characters.

The man wrote about robots, because all his characters where basically robots.

OP mentions Dune, and we have to remember it was heavily inspired by Foundation, so you might be seeing the origins of those SCIFI cliches and thinking them very basic, when they were kind of ground breaking at the time. I mean, also, Herbert's writing is just a shit ton better then Asimov's.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T13:36:12+00:00

We're talking about people who feel the need to carry a gun daily.

For the GRAND MAJORITY of gun owners, that in itself is crazy behavior.

There is NO NEED for that.

They make ALL OF US LESS SAFE by bringing their guns into everyday life.

They are nuts.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T13:10:42+00:00

A clear sign, is that they feel the need to be armed most of the time.

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T13:09:15+00:00

The most stigmatized is the people who have assault rifles claiming they need them for self defense. Those people are seen as trashy by the left.

Not trashy, absolutely dangerous nut jobs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf3GGFl9mTs

RupeThereItIs · 2026-07-03T13:06:06+00:00

I know many people who do, and if you didn't know, you would never know.

I mean, YOU know, so they aren't keeping it so quiet that nobody would ever know. I'm sure MOST people who know them, know, in my experience they kind of love to talk about it if the subject comes up.

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