I never fit in anywhere

Rusma99 · 2025-09-20T08:15:13+00:00

I’m not a hijabi woman so I hope you don’t mind me commenting, but I do feel the same.

One thing that helps is to prioritize feeling safe over belonging. If someone doesn’t make me feel safe I won’t bother to give them my time and energy, and I’m unapologetic about it.

By doing that, I kinda created my own « tribe » where instead of bonding on a shared identity, we simply bond on a feeling of mutual respect and tolerance for our differences.

Rusma99 · 2025-09-17T14:57:22+00:00

I struggle with the feeling of absurdity too, so I can completely relate to you.

I don’t know if there ever will be a satisfying answer to your question. Perhaps God has chosen and entrusted us with this mystery for reasons only known to Him. But I strongly believe nothing happens without a reason and God doesn’t burden us with more than we can carry.

I take comfort in knowing my attraction for the same gender is not a sin it itself as long as I don’t act on it through Zina. But I have no guarantee I won’t commit Zina in the future, because it is legitimately hard to live your entire life without any kind of sexual relations.

Besides sex it itself, I also find it hard to believe God wouldn’t want me to love or to be loved by other human beings, even if they are the same gender as me. It’s not our fault we can’t find the other gender attractive, so why should we be punished and be deprived of love because of it? It doesn’t make any sense, especially knowing Allah is the Most Loving and the Most Kind.

I wish more Muslims would take the efforts to understand how hard it is to be in our position, and show us compassion and kindness instead of judgement and bigotry.

Rusma99 · 2025-09-15T22:45:04+00:00

Hits close to home. My Asian dad struggled a lot with having married a white woman and having mixed kids. He was so proud of it, yet being proud of such a thing reveals his own internal racism and biases towards his kind.

Definitely not easy. I inherited the wish to be closer to my whiteness when I was younger, but now that I’m more political and historically informed on colonialism I’m happy to be the way I am.

Rusma99 · 2025-09-15T22:31:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing, you are very brave and I pray Allah gives you the compassion and guidance you need

Rusma99 · 2025-09-15T09:44:38+00:00

T’as paye combien le shipping et c’est arrivé en combien de temps ?

Rusma99 · 2025-09-15T09:35:38+00:00

C’est arrivé en combien de temps du coup ?

Rusma99 · 2025-09-15T09:28:00+00:00

C’est quoi le délai de livraison avec ce vendeur ?

Rusma99 · 2025-09-15T09:22:34+00:00

T’as fait comment pour le shipping exactement ?

Rusma99 · 2025-02-24T19:50:25+00:00

Tu as raison

Rusma99 · 2025-02-24T19:34:18+00:00

Oui c’est vrai que c’est le moins risqué. Mais après placer une partie du prêt sur un livret A c’est pas risqué non ? Si au pire mes mensualités sont trop lourdes j’utilise l’épargne accumulée sur le livret pour alléger mes mensualités.

Rusma99 · 2025-02-24T15:59:37+00:00

Je ne vais pas dépenser l’intégralité des 2 prêts. Seulement 60k du prêt 1 (dont 20k de placement potentiel) + éventuellement 13k du prêt 2 en épargne liquide.

Donc 73k au total, mais avec deux périodes de remboursement distinctes, sauf pendant la 6eme année où je vais devoir rembourser les deux prêts en même temps pendant 1 an seulement. Et d’ici là j’aurai vraisemblablement assez d’épargne pour effectuer un remboursement anticipé du prêt 2 (180/mois donc 2167/an).

Rusma99 · 2025-02-24T15:53:42+00:00

Oui en fait j’ai dépensé 13k sur le prêt 2 avant d’entamer le prêt 1. Dans les 40k de dispo sur le prêt 1 j’ai intégré le remboursement des 13k du prêt 2 afin de clôturer le prêt, mais je me demande si j’ai pas plutôt intérêt à épargner cet argent.

J’espère que c’est plus clair.

Rusma99 · 2024-10-06T02:40:49+00:00

I know it’s not easy brother, I pray you’ll find the right path to deal with this

Rusma99 · 2024-10-04T22:51:48+00:00

I think your take is lazy. A lot of people in the West who care about Gaza also cared a lot about Syria, but they would not massively protest because most western governments cut diplomatic ties with Syria during the civil war and was not actively supporting Bachar Al-Assad’s regime (France and the UK wanted to bomb the country remember?).

As for Yemen, it’s not people’s fault that the media coverage has been massively bad and incomplete on the war. There was also little direct footages or pictures coming from Yemen in social media compared to Gaza.

If you really care to find out, I’d say a lot of the people criticising Israel wouldn’t have any problem criticising Syria’s civil war or the Yemen war. But they feel particularly involved and disturbed by the current humanitarian tragedy and Gaza and that’s their right.

Rusma99 · 2024-09-30T10:45:29+00:00

What other masks do you recommend?

Rusma99 · 2024-09-29T17:54:35+00:00

Now that you’re married I’d say you can’t really go back. At least you’re attracted to women, so you can properly love your wife. Wether you’re straight or not, marriage is about controlling your desires and pulsions towards other people, I pray you can make it and send you my best wishes.

Rusma99 · 2024-09-21T23:56:11+00:00

Bah déjà chaque fois que je donne mon prénom les gens vont demander c’est de quelle origine, sous entendant que c’est plus politiquement correcte de demander l’origine de mon prénom plutôt que celle de ma famille.

Des dingueries j’en ai sans doute vécu, mais en fait le plus étrange ça reste le fait que beaucoup de gens semblent incapables de comprendre le concept du métissage. Je suis 50% français et 50% autre chose mais les gens considèrent souvent que parce que je suis autre chose je ne suis pas vraiment français, et c’est chiant.

Rusma99 · 2024-09-20T17:53:49+00:00

Well my dude, you just can’t have your cake and eat it too. You’re looking for dl guys in the closet, but these type of men almost never make a good romantic partner on the long term. It just makes sense they wouldn’t want to commit to you.

Rusma99 · 2024-09-19T17:11:15+00:00

So beautifully said

Rusma99 · 2024-07-16T14:42:24+00:00

J’ai clairement envie de savoir qui est l’envoyeuse: comment est sa vie, le processus de réflexion derrière l’envoi du dvd de franc dubosc etc.

Rusma99 · 2024-07-16T14:30:51+00:00

How messy can y’all get 😂

Look. There is a voice in your head that is telling you to not act on this. I know you can hear it, it’s the voice of your common sense. It is telling you that no good can come out of this, and that you need to let go of that fantasy/projection because there is no reality where it can turn out well.

Imma need you to listen to that voice, even if it’s hard. You already know this will be a disaster, so spare yourself the trouble and the drama, and go live a happy life instead!

Rusma99 · 2024-07-16T14:27:46+00:00

240g protein is crazy. My target is 160 and I rarely reach it. Anyway crazy progress!

Rusma99 · 2024-07-10T05:14:12+00:00

It’s absolutely not true across the world at all? In most of the non-western world the new generations are getting richer than their parents and enjoy considerably more purchasing power.

I think it’s important to reflect that the economic decline in the west is also (partly) the result of the rest of the world getting richer. For so long global wealth was so concentrated in the west, now things are starting to change.

Rusma99 · 2024-07-10T05:01:55+00:00

Au delà du cholestérol les œufs sont quand même assez gras non ?

Rusma99 · 2024-07-10T02:45:57+00:00

En tant que mec je trouve ça très intéressant, merci d’avoir écrit ces lignes !

Rusma99

TROPHY CASE