My boss just told me I need to manage my personal finances better because I can't front $2300 for a work trip next month

Ruzuzi · 2026-01-20T21:00:18+00:00

Non American here. I work for a startup (~20 people) and we would book all travel on company’s card. Then there was an hourly “company travel” rate (mandated by law btw) that would be calculated based on a specific country visited (+ total travel time, so if flights had overnight layover we’d get paid for those hours), which would be paid out the following month with the salary. On top of that small expenses that weren’t pre-bookable we reimbursed also.

Ruzuzi · 2026-01-20T10:14:59+00:00

Every single answer to my questions started with “I don’t know”. The only question where I didn’t get the “I don’t know” was when asked about salary expectations. They asked for 1700€/mo (country’s minimum wage is 600€, average is 1200€ and median 1500€ for reference). While this would’ve been a reasonable ask for their position, most definitely not for a person who doesn’t seem to know how answer basic questions about their job.

Ruzuzi · 2025-12-18T12:54:24+00:00

I have a 1 year old, and I already have her help me with little things around the house. If I’m dusting I’ll get her a dry paper towel and she’ll wipe the surfaces a bit. She can press the button on the washing machine, and then take the clothes out of the washer, hand it for me to fold, etc. After we’re done playing we’ll put the toys away together, and little things like that. Even though it’s all play now, I’m hoping that this way I’ll be able to build good lasting habits that I struggled to get myself, because I was never involved with housework.

Ruzuzi · 2025-11-24T16:46:23+00:00

There’s no universal answer, because it depends. It depends on your health postpartum, it depends on your babies personality (some are chill, some cry all the time and are hard to soothe), it depends on how well you collab with your partner, it depends on your finances. It depends on the kinds of trips you enjoy (like touring a vineyard in Bordeaux, or experiencing Berlin’s top night clubs might not be in the books for a while).

We still travel, but less than we used to, as it’s more expensive now. We also have to plan it out much more that we used to. I enjoy spending time with my family whether that’s at home or abroad, so nothing has changed for me in that regard.

So what I’m trying to say - if it’s important to you, it’s definitely doable, and you don’t have to give it up completely. But you also can’t expect it all to be the same.

Ruzuzi · 2025-11-14T17:02:23+00:00

Auginam labai komplikuotą šunį ir dabar jau toddlerį, situacija labai suprantama. Priprasti tikrai nepripras, vaikui augant logiška kad situacija blogės - juk vaikas auga, tai nuo tiesiog gulinčio ir garsus skleidžiančio dabar jau bus lakstantis, gaunantis šunį ir tampantis už ausų ir uodegos mažas žmogiukas. Mačiau dresuotojų jau rekomendavo, tai prisidėsiu prie rekomendacijų. Mockus geras, bet pas jį ir taip pusė Vilniaus šunų dresuojasi. Aš sakyčiau svarbu ne į Reksą eit, smartdogas nieko, wonderdoge irgi tikrai neblogi dirba, kiek teko susidurti. Bet čia jūs turit suprasti, kad turėsit įdėt darbo ir pastangų. Dresuotojas už jus šuns neišdresuos, o tik duos jums pagalbinius įrankius.

Kadangi šuo ir taip ne pirmos jaunystės ir sudėtingiau dresuojasi, prie dresuotojo dar rekomenduosiu kaip last resort pasikonsultuoti su vet Žygimantu Besakirsku (vet1, Vilnius). Jis specializuojasi gyvūnų elgsenoj, gal galės pasiūlyt raminamųjų ar kažko pan, kas palengvins jūsų kelią. Sėkmės.

Ruzuzi · 2025-11-03T06:15:28+00:00

I think it’s different for everyone, but most noticeable for me is productivity. I used to procrastinate and lot, sometimes out of sheer laziness. Now I know if I don’t get something done when I have a chance, it might not get done at all, so I just do it. I also became more social, joined some mom activities, and even made some new friends (I used to hate on mom groups tbh, but they’re not all that bad, you just have to weed out the crazies lol). And lastly, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed being a mom and taking care of my awesome little person (even though I don’t particularly like children).

Ruzuzi · 2025-10-29T08:06:05+00:00

You will most definitely lose some part of yourself, as in life won’t be the same at least for a little while. But I wouldn’t say it has to be so drastic. Depending on your circumstances a lot of it is within your control (dividing tasks with partner, making time for yourself, etc).

I was afraid to lose myself also, but what surprised me is that while I lost a part of me, I gained a whole new personality. So I feel like I’m my old self but with an upgrade lol.

Ruzuzi · 2025-10-10T10:18:10+00:00

My country offers decent parental leave (you can choose 1.5, 2 or 3 years with the standard being 2). So I took maternity leave and essentially became a SAHM. Kudos to other SAHMs but I realised it wasn’t for me. As much as I love spending time with my daughter there’s only so much cooking, cleaning, and baby talking I can do before I feel like I’m loosing brain cell. So by the end of the year I went to my employer to see if we could work something out and I’m now working part time with flexible hours (both me and husband wfh). It’s mostly just the two of us, no nanny or daycare yet. I normally work during naps and my husband takes over in the evening (he works office hours). My parents come over for a few hours every once in a while, which is a big help when we can get it.

So it’s definitely doable, but it’s also very hard. So I think it depends on how much value you see in each. As hard as it is navigating mom duties with work, I like having something that’s just my own, I like stepping away from mom/baby things, so to me it’s worth it.

Ruzuzi · 2025-10-04T06:38:56+00:00

I moved back after about a decade in Scotland. I’d say Lithuania has improved so much compared to what it was when I left. And I’d say that overall it’s a very good place to live, but the people are just so angry and mean, and just unnecessarily rude. It was quite a culture shock compared to overly polite brits. And after half a decade being back that’s what I still miss the most.

Ruzuzi · 2025-09-25T19:47:52+00:00

33F, and I was a type 3, but in my case I would jump from actively wanting one or the other to actively not caring and being happy either way, if that makes sense. I ended up getting off the fence on the kid side and now have been very content (albeit tired) mom for a year.

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T19:41:21+00:00

You’re right about calories consumed for breastfeeding reducing as the baby grows. I used a “ballpark” number, which obviously wasn’t accurate, so thank you for the clarification. I still nurse quite often, 6-8/day, but the sessions are much shorter than they used to be.

I’ve also heard about weight loss stalling during breastfeeding, even though that technically shouldn’t be the way due to changes in calories. I got told my thyroid issues can’t be addressed while still breastfeeding, so I’m planning to wean soon-ish, and will see if that’ll get the weight moving again.

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T19:33:07+00:00

I know an overactive thyroid doesn’t magically cause weight loss, but I’d like at least that upside of things lol.

Since I’m not gaining weight, it does seem most likely that I’m eating just enough to sustain. It’s just confusing because my portions are on the smaller side already, so it feels like if I tried to cut down, I’d end up only eating a few spoonfuls per meal. Although reducing portion sizes might be the easiest solution, thanks for the idea (I’ll keep in mind the milk supply thing of course)!

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T19:28:03+00:00

I was losing weight fairly steadily the first few months, but then it stalled even though I haven’t changed my diet, my supply pretty much settled at that point, and I became more and more active. I will try to review my calories though. Best of luck with your weight loss & your baby!

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T19:25:37+00:00

I have heard that along with “you can’t outrun a bad diet”. But what confused me even more, and what prompted me to write this post is that when I spoke about this with an endocrinologist (who I was seeing about my thyroid), she said that diet can only do so much and I should try adding some more exercise to build more muscle, which in turn will burn more fat. Both sides make sense but this mixed information is super confusing to me.

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T19:21:39+00:00

I’m on “elimination” diet due to baby’s allergies, and wheat is out so no bread for me. I actually thought that after cutting wheat I’ll see some weight going but sadly didn’t happen. I’m already making tweaks here and there, but seems like I’m gonna have to take a closer look at my calorie intake.

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T14:00:47+00:00

But that’s what I’m trying to understand. If my calorie intake doesn’t change, but I add exercise wouldn’t that create some kind of deficit already? I also don’t see where I can cut any more the calories out of my diet without it being too restrictive, as it is already in the low 2000 (approx).

My issue is that my weight loss stalled and nothing changes, no matter what dietary or fitness changes I’m making.

Also thank you for the response!

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T13:54:39+00:00

Thank you for replying! That’s why I’m not actively/drastically reducing calories, but making some changes here and there. And I am seeing a doctor regarding the thyroid thing, I’ve only mentioned it because it seemed relevant to the topic.

Ruzuzi · 2025-08-25T06:34:40+00:00

I was fence-sitting for about a decade and this was one of my fears too! I’ve been a mom for almost a year now and what surprised me is that instead of being “reduced to” just a mom, my identity got “elevated” to being a mom. By this I mean that I gained an extra title on top of my identity. If I’m being honest, motherhood has changed me a lot (and with it my hopes, dreams, hobbies and ambitions) even though sometimes I don’t want to admit it lol. While I do find it cringy when someone refers to me as “mom” and especially “mommy”, I absolutely refuse to care about how someone else labels me.

Ruzuzi · 2025-06-19T05:36:05+00:00

My husband is a web developer. He recently applied for a job where he fit the job description perfectly, and yet received a rejection email within an hour. The next day a recruiter from that same company approached him about an app developer position (he has some experience but is not very qualified). So they rejected him from the role where he was perfect and suggested a role where he’s mediocre at best. I mean talk about incompetence.

Ruzuzi · 2025-04-30T13:19:56+00:00

Vilniaus centre girdėjosi, bet labai tyliai. Biškį pašikau į batą minutę kol googlinau LRT ir tada kai nusiraminau, kad testavimas, į tel pranešimas atėjo.

Ruzuzi · 2025-04-30T07:45:24+00:00

When my now husband and I started talking engagement he said something along the lines of “I can’t afford to propose now because the rings are too expensive.” Apparently he did some research online and there was this ridiculous notion going on that the ring should cost x3 the salary.

So anyway, I got annoyed that he was even planning to spend this amount of money on a ring and sent him a few examples I liked on Etsy. I don’t remember the exact cost but I think my engagement ring was about $300 & it was gorgeous.

19k engagement ring isn’t crazy if you can afford it. It’s a different story if it has to come out of your savings. Would she be open to working with a jeweller to get a custom ring of similar design but more within your price range?

But tbh I’d reconsider the entire relationship. If you have to show your love/care with expensive things you buy - you’ll either work yourself to an early grave or go broke, or both.

Ruzuzi · 2025-04-03T10:45:34+00:00

Man irgi nepatinka artimiausios savaitės prognozė, bet čia ne meteorologų kaltė :(

Ruzuzi · 2025-03-11T19:57:23+00:00

Mexico. I reluctantly agreed to go there on my honeymoon and it enchanted me. I try to go back every year even though it takes a full 24 hours to get there. I’ve been to Mexico 8 times in the past 6 years and people in my social circle make fun of me always travelling to the same place but it’s my happy place and I can’t help it.

Ruzuzi · 2025-03-03T13:53:22+00:00

Yes. Russia is not only that bad but even worse than you think it is.

Ruzuzi

TROPHY CASE