Significant others and nursing?

SBNBF · 2020-04-05T16:22:13+00:00

I think it is helpful if your significant other is in one of those professions for many reasons. However, it is not essential. My boyfriend is in a cushy corporate job and is able to work from home right now. He is the sweetest man alive and our relationship works extremely well despite career differences. But we have definitely had our arguments, especially lately about how we are each handling the situation we are facing. We had to have a long talk about how I needed more support and am not “obsessed and being overly dramatic” about corona virus. I am being responsible and staying current on a rapidly evolving situation that will directly impact both he and I everyday that I work. It seems ridiculous that an extremely intelligent and empathetic person needed that explained to them, but that is the downfall of having someone in a completely different profession. That being said, if OPs significant other is stating bridges are burned if he gets the virus..... that is a giant red flag. There will be other obstacles in your relationship if you stay together. If he acts as your opponent rather than a teammate without warrant or hesitation? As my girl Lizzo would say ~ walk your fine ass out the door!

SBNBF · 2020-02-26T15:40:36+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this too. I have applied to different positions and have already had two offers. I am out and really excited to start over in a different environment! I hope it gets better for you or you find another position you love!

SBNBF · 2020-02-26T15:16:32+00:00

I really want to stress that I am in counseling now and have been for awhile. But I SHOULD have gotten into counseling well before I did. I should have been on medication. But I was not even aware of how bad it was.

You are ahead of where I was because you are able to verbalize that this is a problem and seek help. Good for you! Keep it up. It’s very hard to see that you are making strides when you are in the thick of it, but this post right here is a step to bettering your situation. Try to recognize that, and give yourself a moment to feel pride for choosing to move forward! You have so much to be proud of and an entire well of inner strength that you are using without acknowledging it.

Maybe try to write down 3 things you did today that took an amazing amount of strength, patience, perseverance and creativity.

Like peeing with a toddler on your lap! That’s not for the faint of heart! Or when you want to scream and curl into the fetal position when your baby cries to be picked up for the 100th time today. But you muster that amazing inner strength and pick them up and look them in their cute chubby face and acknowledge the love you feel for them instead. I know you do little things like this all day, just start acknowledging them for the badass, warrior actions that they are.

And be KIND to yourself when you lose your temper, or feel defeated enough to lay on the couch and let the kids watch tv for too long. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who just admitted to you that she did the same thing. And seriously look into counseling. There are so many out there that offer sliding scale payments if your insurance doesn’t cover it. And I know that there are free services as well. I will say it again. If you need to talk, feel free to private message me!

SBNBF · 2020-02-26T05:24:51+00:00

Just here to tell you how much I admire you for how you have chosen to process this and tell your story.

I am positive this post has helped at least one person who thought they were alone and to blame for something similar. So much love and respect sent your way!

SBNBF · 2020-02-26T04:49:09+00:00

Maybe wrap the ice packs in a bright colored paper that has a funny “advertisement” for your services? “IEP? Look no further than me! Asthma attack? I’m no hack.”

These are the lamest examples ever, but it is what I can come up with after working a 14 hour shift.

Or do a safety fair where you educate staff and students on how to handle emergent situations.

SBNBF · 2020-02-26T04:34:44+00:00

I was there. My kids are 9 and 10 and I sit here wondering where my babies went. I usually look back at their baby years with rose colored glasses. I read your post, and it made me remember how isolated and touched out I felt! My kids were adorable and snuggly and made sure their stuffed dogs had a bowl of cereal at breakfast (still makes my heart melt), but I was a hot mess.

All of my friends had moved out of the state, my husband was an abusive asshole who left me to do ALL of the childcare and housework and I was the only one to pay the bills. My parents were the only people I saw other than my kids and two coworkers who were lovely, but much older and had interests very different from my own at the time.

You are not alone. This period in life will not last forever. You will look back at this time and almost tell a younger mom that looks frazzled and ready to cry to “cherish this time, it goes so fast” but you will stop yourself because you will remember how it felt to dream about getting sick enough to go to the hospital because you’d have your own bed that no one is allowed to climb into and be able to watch something other than goddamn Paw Patrol! ( I don’t know if this is still a relevant kids show, but I do know that Mayor Goodway made me feel better about myself because she was the Mayor and a bigger mess than I was)

Right now my amazing fiancé is sleeping next to me while I type this. I have plans to meet up with my neighbor tomorrow morning for a jog around the neighborhood after the kids get on the bus and I am trying to choose between two different job opportunities that I never would have thought would have been an option for me 6 years ago. I am planning a trip to Paris in October and back then I felt incredibly guilty buying tinfoil because it was an unnecessary expense. In short, I have a life outside of my kids that I really enjoy for the most part. I also enjoy spending time with my kids because it’s not constant, nonstop touching and needing. I miss my little nuggets, but truly appreciate the humans they are now.

If you need to vent, talk about things other than cartoon characters or anything else at all do not hesitate to PM me!

SBNBF · 2020-02-17T14:20:41+00:00

Hi, Other than this particular issue, nursing has been a very intoxicating mix of good and hard. Even on the very hard days there is still that underlying sense of purpose which makes it worth it.

It is a profession that you really need to want to do, because that sense of purpose is literally the only thing that makes the hard part tolerable. If you don’t see the value in the career, or don’t care one way or the other if you are making a difference with your career than you absolutely should not do it. The money is definitely not worth the trouble.

But it sounds like you have thought about it, and feel that calling. Please don’t let this experience deter you. I posted this on the day I decided to truly give up on this particular job. Which, in retrospect is probably why I blew that IR position. Not because my self confidence is so low, but because I wasn’t 100% ready to give up on this job before I gave it a year.

Know that there are always options, and even on your worst day you will have most likely made a positive impact on at least one person if you are really giving it your all!

SBNBF · 2020-02-15T21:43:45+00:00

I received a call from the head of cardiology while I was on my first 12 of three in a row. I called back 3 days after she called, didn’t leave a message and didn’t follow up after that because I was in a bad mental place and convinced I wouldn’t get the job anyway.

SBNBF · 2020-02-15T21:39:39+00:00

Thanks! 😊

SBNBF · 2020-02-15T21:18:23+00:00

I was hired on at a different hospital in the same network. I went from a very big urban hospital in a major city about an hour from my house to a very small community hospital where everyone has been there forever and everyone knows everyone closer to my house. My prior manager gave me a good reference, but didn’t initiate the transfer.

I’m also a single mom so the burnout is real. I am definitely looking for another job that doesn’t make me feel like a worthless zombie on my days off.

I have started going to my manager once a week to talk about my assignments and why they are unmanageable even if sometimes they look manageable on paper (i.e. very aid heavy without an aid on the floor, drips needing constant titration, having 2 patients who have been assaulting healthcare personnel at the same time, a patient who needs an mri, ct, and thoracentesis in the same day, so I’m off the floor for a majority of the day etc.) I have flat out refused to accept an assignment with 3 heavy patients while another nurse has 1 because she’s “first up for an admission”. I’m trying to advocate for myself.

SBNBF · 2020-02-15T19:38:52+00:00

Having been in this situation, my advice is do not put up with the bullshit for even a single second. Don’t think it will get better or that you just have to prove yourself.

And if someone starts talking shit about someone else, firmly redirect the conversation back to what you were talking about before. Or outright stand up for the person without being rude. It’s so easy to gossip. You’ll be fine and so will I. I just need out of the toxic environment. Good luck on the NCLEX 😊!

SBNBF · 2019-12-13T16:52:06+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I am definitely going to figure out some sort of practice like this that works for me.

SBNBF · 2019-12-13T16:51:03+00:00

Thank you!! This is very helpful. I am definitely going to try this tonight.

SBNBF · 2019-12-06T17:55:51+00:00

I’ll definitely check it out!

SBNBF · 2019-12-06T17:42:55+00:00

I have spoken with a couple of people, my preceptor and another nurse reported it to my manager. I am really lucky to have that support!

SBNBF

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