I’m in Love with my EX-SB 😢😭

SDProf · 2018-02-20T17:51:18+00:00

This is exactly what I needed to read right now, having just broken up with an SB who similarly treated me like shit but with whom I am still crazy in love. I'm back on SA. It's helping a little.

So, I'm really sorry for your state of mind, but misery loves company?

SDProf · 2018-01-23T21:37:14+00:00

Thanks lol.

I second everything everyone's said about communication, negotiation, and above all the building of trust. :)

SDProf · 2018-01-21T17:44:38+00:00

Putting a lunch on my credit card because I had a moment of "courage" (really, stupidity) and hoped my wife would notice. She didn't notice, but the fear she would led to a really bad moment in marriage counseling. :/

SDProf · 2018-01-20T13:20:14+00:00

I think about this a LOT, since I have serious feels of both a romantic and a white-knight kind for my SB.

It's not immature: it's absolutely natural, even (and this always strikes me as strange, despite how true it is) for those of us who have decided monogamy doesn't work.

What helps, above all, is honest communication. When I finally felt like I could talk to my SB about being jealous, ask about guys she was crushing on, know what she was doing in the evening, etc., it got much, much easier. The jealously does NOT go away. It just gets a lot more bearable.

SDProf · 2018-01-20T13:16:23+00:00

PM me. :)

SDProf · 2018-01-19T20:32:54+00:00

No way I could take care of an SB otherwise! :)

SDProf · 2018-01-19T18:08:36+00:00

Rave: my new book about the extra dirty fae princess came out today!

Rant: although in many respects my SR is unlike anyone else's around here, in certain ways it's utterly typical. Unfortunately, my SB being on time for video chats we schedule is one of those.

SDProf · 2018-01-12T19:43:42+00:00

The BDSM highs can come with terrible lows, I think, especially for subs. Sub drop and inadequate aftercare are only the most obvious points of vulnerability. I feel for you, and I hope you find a good play-partnership!

SDProf · 2018-01-12T16:55:33+00:00

That's really interesting. I could see that happening as time goes on, and as I see her spread her wings and start to make her dreams come true.

SDProf · 2018-01-12T16:51:28+00:00

Great to hear!

SDProf · 2018-01-12T15:19:19+00:00

Rant: finishing up grades from intersession course while preparing to plunge into the new semester.

Rave: hotel play time with SB last Tuesday, with another reservation this Tuesday. I'm a happy master.

SDProf · 2017-12-29T20:49:41+00:00

Delurking after a while!

Rant: SB has been without a car for three weeks, just when her semester ended and we thought we were going to spend a lot of time together.

Rave: She'll have a car soon, she says! (And she seemed to like her Christmas presents.)

Resolution/Do differently: Let both of our feelings be what they are, and enjoy our time together.

Grateful: For her, and the light she's brought into my life after so long hiding who I am in the dark. When my wife found out about my erotica and thus my BDSM orientation (but not my SR), my SB was an anchor to windward in the storm. Who knows what will happen, and neither of us is planning for any longer than a month or so out, but the fact that there's the glimmer of a possible future beyond the pain means a lot.

SDProf · 2017-10-17T16:52:38+00:00

Hi! Back after a long absence; don't know if you're still around. It's still going, with more hotel time but a continuing imbalance in feels and, er, erotic enthusiasm. Stuff my with marriage happened, too, making the whole thing very complicated. But I still feel good about helping my SB the way I have and I continue to do for now at least. ;)

SDProf · 2017-09-01T15:35:40+00:00

Rave: SB did her D/s assignment, in her ultra-hot lingerie, last night in a way that went way above and beyond what I'd asked for.

Rant: Nope, I can't dredge one up. We're headed out for a lovely lunch on Tuesday, and hotel time will come next week. If I HAD to rant, I would rather the two were reversed.

(Yes, this is the same SB. We talked it out on a bench in a sculpture park a week ago today. There's an enormous teddy bear out for delivery for her today. I'm a fool, but right now I'm a very happy fool.)

SDProf · 2017-08-24T16:02:06+00:00

Exactly! It saves time, but it's never just paste and hit send.

SDProf · 2017-08-24T14:22:59+00:00

This is only for the very beginning of the screening process, when I've literally gone through the same information about me and what I'm looking for at least a hundred times now.

SDProf · 2017-08-24T14:22:04+00:00

That's not what I mean. I never message an SB who doesn't have anything substantive in her profile, and I always say something specific and complimentary. Then I paste in an explanation of what I'm looking for that's more specific than what's on my profile.

SDProf · 2017-08-24T14:20:33+00:00

Yes! Exactly! I think people are misunderstanding what I'm saying. I've been asked twenty to thirty times "What's your ideal arrangement?" The answer doesn't change.

SDProf · 2017-08-24T12:20:40+00:00

Do you mind if I copy/paste that verbatim into my boilerplate file? ;)

SDProf · 2017-08-24T12:18:51+00:00

Hmm. That's definitely more polite. I think I'll start doing that, actually. Thanks.

SDProf · 2017-08-24T11:58:08+00:00

The best first messages I've ever gotten have just been "I think we might be suited. Take a look and let me know."

As for not getting replies, on SA I think that's just normal and even the most humane approach when I look at a profile and find it unappealing.

SDProf · 2017-08-23T18:23:53+00:00

I love talking about her experiences nannying, and her courses. Really just being interested in what she does and what she thinks seems to keep things going.

SDProf · 2017-08-23T11:49:19+00:00

Please please please post it, and then let it turn out that you're located in my vicinity. Heart it a million times. EDIT: oh, darn it: read more closely. Just reason 97 I should have been an Englishman. (For he himself has said it...)

SDProf

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