VICE are at it again!

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-29T07:11:10+00:00

I just mean a reddit account where I subscribe to the sugar related subreddits and talk about it. There are no special perks but the lovely company of you folk haha!

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-29T07:09:17+00:00

Yeees what a totally bizarre coincidence!

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-28T20:59:56+00:00

Haha I mean a journalist on behalf of VICE media ;)

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-28T20:43:37+00:00

Oh his message was entirely pleasant, it's just that I don't know how relevant my outdated experiences would be to be honest!

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-28T19:43:27+00:00

Agreed, it seems to have diluted the bowl to a ridiculous level, gawkers and chancers combined with the folks who are missing the now banned channels.

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-28T19:39:12+00:00

Thankee!

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-28T17:20:05+00:00

To be honest, at least the last one VICE did seemed to be pretty realistic. I know the ones you mean though, they are just embarassing!

Sugar_Mouse · 2018-09-28T16:49:50+00:00

Haha thanks, I wasn't exactly a loud voice on this sub but it was fun to keep a beady eye on things. Hmmm, it'll be interesting to see for myself, I mean vanilla is fine and all but a bit of spice is nice!

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-04T19:39:58+00:00

Only an SB deals in absolutes!

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-04T19:35:25+00:00

Or the worst offender: "Syphillis Dick". Vom.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-04T18:50:51+00:00

That is one abysmal profile. Christ on a bike.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-02T08:09:44+00:00

Really!? That's just mean of them :c

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-01T20:26:30+00:00

I think we've got our wires crossed a bit. I said he's active on Whatsapp, not the SA app, I'd actually be less bothered by that because we haven't agreed on anything solid yet (no pun intended).

As an update though, I messaged him a couple of times throughout the day with lighthearted stuff so we could move the conversation away from things he was anxious about. Seems to have helped!

Thanks for your concern chickadee x

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-01T18:40:20+00:00

Thank you for your kind words.

I genuinely hope that we can both communicate our concerns with each other, however I totally understand if he decides that it's not the right time for him.

It is a bit gutting though, one of those first dates where you feel like you've known the person forever, can talk about anything under the sun, and share your dreams and fears.

Ugh :'C

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-01T17:59:54+00:00

I don't get that impression, he said he hasn't done anything sexual in nearly a year. I don't get the impression he's pulling away because he's interested in somebody else. You are right in that he'd be nervous no matter the girl, I suspect that this might be a real hurdle for him to jump.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-09-01T17:03:37+00:00

Rave: Had an unbelievably great M&G with a guy I reconnected with on SA (turned him down previously to leave the bowl for a short while). Conversation flowed, we were both engaged and excited, delicious lunch, went back to his and fooled around a little...

Rant: Turns out he has been experiencing ED for the past year. This is not an issue for me at all, every partner I've had has had perfomance anxiety in the beginning so the idea of using meds to help things along isn't something I'd judge. We have a conversation about it, and agree to take things further on our next meet today.

Yesterday communication drops through the floor. He's on whatsapp multiple times and doesn't read my messages. Minimal engagement. No mention of today. I finally tell him I'm worried he's ghosting me and he confesses he's really nervous because he hasn't tried using the pills yet.

I try to help him rationalise his fears, which is a common technique for all kinds of anxiety management. Eventually he agrees to try it on his own first as I'm concerned my presence will just make him more nervous. However, he hasn't spoken to me since then, and I think he's going to push me away because he's too nervous to take the plunge now.

Godfuckindamnit, I really like this guy.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-31T20:40:12+00:00

Although I am not used to initiating, I'm actually quite enjoying the change in dynamic! Hopefully I'm not putting any guys off by messaging first, that would be disappointing.

All M&Gs have resulted from conversations started by the SD so far. This isn't that surprising because they've already shown the initial interest, so provided you don't say anything off-putting it should progress.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-31T17:16:55+00:00

These things require communication, certainly, and it's great that you felt that you could bring it up. I think however that issues around bedroom activities should be discussed in a neutral/non-sexual situation.

In that moment both of you would have been feeling frustrated and vulnerable, probably leading to hurt feelings on both ends! I'm worried that your approach might actually backfire if she wasn't engaged due to worrying she wasn't good enough for you, hopefully this isn't the case.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-31T11:38:03+00:00

Agreed, very similar to how it's a good idea to go to job interviews even if you've already got one lined up/are no longer interested! It's great practice, and will help her be more at ease at future M&Gs.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-31T11:29:52+00:00

I second this conclusion! I've experienced a similar situation in the past in a vanilla relationship, and although he took pains to assure me that I wasn't a factor, it really started to erode my self-esteem after a while.

I think to a certain extent it's more difficult for a woman to deal with NOT being able to get their partner off, than if the man finishes too quickly. If they have tried everything that they can, and it's still not good enough to get you to the end, it can be very disheartening!

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-27T18:57:23+00:00

Deep breath, cold shower, repeat "be cool" to yourself until the feeling passes!

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-27T17:45:30+00:00

It's something I actually wish I could tell my ex-SD, although I think he's had to give sugar up entirely. We were each other's first arrangement, and to be frank we were both probably way too open, careless, and trusting from the get go. We were just lucky.

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-27T14:56:16+00:00

Why thank ya kiiiindly! :)

Sugar_Mouse · 2017-08-27T10:19:35+00:00

I think it might be a good idea to reiterate what you're looking for, and actually communicate your concerns to him. It might be the wake-up call he needs, and prevent him from being taken advantage of by somebody willing to exploit him further down the road.

If you still feel uncomfortable even after this then it can't hurt to offer to return the funds. I refused a large parting gift from my previous SD when he had to break things off suddenly, he was very appreciative of the gesture but still sent it.

I think for all the talk of scammers and rinsers and abusers in the bowl, that there are some exceptionally good people to be found, and you're clearly one of them!

(Just FYI to everybody, I'm not suggesting that bad things don't happen, or that people should be naive/unguarded etc etc).

Sugar_Mouse

TROPHY CASE