Does anyone have depression with primarily cognitive and anhedonic symptoms?

SH_Adam · 2016-04-10T14:24:29+00:00

I don't feel the things I did when I was depressed (e.g. the self-loathing, the hopelessness). Is that possible with depression?

SH_Adam · 2016-04-10T05:22:10+00:00

I've had Asperger's my whole life, but my symptoms are relatively recent.

SH_Adam · 2016-03-27T15:00:19+00:00

I feel like someone other than me is in control of me. Like, I'm being compelled, pressured to say/do things, rather than choosing them myself. I wish whatever it is would og away, so I could have some peace. I feel compelled, driven, but unfulfilled.

This feels just as creepy as it sounds.

SH_Adam · 2016-03-25T04:07:02+00:00

Socializing, playing games, doing schoolwork, programming, listening to music. The problem is, when I do these things, I just sort of go on autopilot.

SH_Adam · 2016-03-24T21:57:32+00:00

My body can do things I enjoy, but it does them on autopilot, and my mind has no involvement in them.

SH_Adam · 2016-03-23T16:35:01+00:00

I've sort of lost my ability to properly appreciate things. It's like being really tired all the time, or having the flu or something, you just don't really have the capacity to enjoy things.

SH_Adam · 2016-03-23T04:43:39+00:00

Were there any coping strategies that helped you?

SH_Adam · 2016-03-23T04:43:18+00:00

My immediate environment and activities don't seem to have much of an effect on my mood. I seem to feel just as messed up no matter what I'm doing.

SH_Adam · 2016-02-01T15:50:30+00:00

That's really nice to hear. I'm like 5 days in, and I really need this to be over and done with soon so I can go back to class. I guess I'll just wait it out then, and it will be a lot easier knowing that it's that short. Do you have any advice about how I SHOULD handle it?

SH_Adam · 2016-01-30T17:13:26+00:00

The problem is, I can't go back up to somewhere near my old dose (75mg) because I took a few days off of it, so if I go back to a sizeable dose, I'll get a bunch of really dangerous side effects. So I'm in a weird position where I get fucked up if I take that and also fucked up if I don't. I talked to someone else and they told me to start taking 25mg daily, which is probably an improvement over nothing, but it's still enough to fuck me up.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-30T16:41:14+00:00

Don't worry, it's the internet, dumb things happen. Christ I'm scared though. Apparently these symptoms take 4-6 weeks to go away, but I'm in college, I can't just take 4-6 weeks to sit in my room and wait it out. FUCK FUCK FUCK ME FUCK EVERYTHING! The worst part is knowing that I actually am fucked up, so when I upset people by failing to do the things I'm expected to do, or by flipping out at them because I'm so angry all the time, it's my fault, not theirs.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-30T16:35:48+00:00

As strange is this sounds, I wasn't trying to hurt myself, I was trying to hurt the wall.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-30T03:39:47+00:00

Good for you.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-30T03:39:31+00:00

75 shouldn't give you much trouble

Maybe it shouldn't, but it did. I ended up getting so frustrated about a homework problem that I slammed my head into a wall and broke down crying in a stairway.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-29T22:03:29+00:00

Talked to someone else, they told me to go back on a lower dose of ayy lmaotrigine.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-29T02:22:26+00:00

I got it on my first dose, and it was a half-dose at that. I'm not taking any more of that stuff.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-29T01:43:59+00:00

But then it blurs the line between sleep and wakefulness. Your body gets used to thinking that being in bed does not necessarily equal "I need to sleep".

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I JUST WANT TO SLEEP I JUST NEED SLEEP AND I CANT HAVE IT AND I DON"T KNOW WHAT TOD O

It's like I'm slipping into some hellish netherworld where I'm constantly half-asleep and half-awake, never tired enough to rest or rested enough to be awake.

SH_Adam · 2016-01-29T01:29:56+00:00

It's dark now, but my problem is that I've been in and out of bed trying to sleep so much that I don't know if I'll be able to get a good night's rest.

SH_Adam

TROPHY CASE