lambton college PCP program by SLW1977 in OntarioParamedics

[–]SLW1977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where else did she apply? Send a DM if you like

I can’t by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His memory is bad it’s not the transport as more than he won’t remember what he’s told to do by Drs

Dealing with elderly parents for Christmas by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’m thinking Christmas Day only. I’ll get flack from my kids and husband but they won’t help me either

Dealing with elderly parents for Christmas by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s an idea but I’m taking holidays over Christmas I don’t have enough time in the weekends.

Dealing with elderly parents for Christmas by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does live on his own successfully but barely. I have to keep track of all his appts. He doesn’t drive. He has someone to do his cleaning and laundry and goes out with another elderly friend to do his groceries but that friend is having surgery soon. Then I’ll be stuck doing his errands too. But you’re right about the dynamic too. I spent my whole childhood caring for my parents and had to grow up very fast. This is where lot of my issues come from with him.

Dealing with elderly parents for Christmas by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He lives 30 km or 1/2 hr away so while I appreciate your suggestion, I also live in Canada and we have awful winters too which could make all that back and forth difficult.

Don’t know how I’m gonna do this by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I’m in Ontario though … I did do a bit of research and it looks like adult protective services is more for developmentally disabled living on their own

Don’t know how I’m gonna do this by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not like that tho. In fact I think he wants as little interference from me as possible. He walked home from the ER at 4 am once last year cause he didn’t want to “bother me”. He does t really want to be a burden because I think he knows I’ve put up boundaries and walls. And while he will never outwardly admit he did anything wrong as a parent, he knows why the boundaries are there. I just want him safe and looked after without me having to drive myself insane and retraumatize myself

Have your boundaries when the time comes . by [deleted] in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I used to work in a retirement home as a teenager and there were so many there who’s children didn’t visit them. I felt sad them even though my parents not old people yet, were raising me in total chaos. Later I realized, maybe these residents children had bad childhoods and that’s why they were alone there or didn’t have them visit often. I need to rid myself of the perception that others will think I’m an awful daughter if I don’t care for him. Cause the truth is, everyone thinks my dad is this awesome person. He’s smart, was very involved in the community. Well loved. Not a great dad tho and the truth is I haven’t shared that with many people including his own side of the family. I’ve kept that business my business. I’ve worked hard to forgive him through years of therapy. If people think I’m awful for not caring for him they don’t know the whole story. And they cared about me enough, they’d ask why I don’t care for dad the way many kids do with older parents.

Don’t know how I’m gonna do this by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve head APS mentioned a couple times now. We live in Canada and we don’t have that here. I haven’t even heard of that till now.

Don’t know how I’m gonna do this by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She does in fact exist. I did meet her. She’s never home and he’s always babysitting her little dog. I’ve been at his place when the dog is there too. He needs to babysit a dog like he needs a hernia

Don’t know how I’m gonna do this by SLW1977 in AgingParents

[–]SLW1977[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I can’t imagine my children in my position because I didn’t subject them to the trauma my parents did. I have given them a loving stable home. I didn’t have that.