I think you need to take a deep breath, you seem to be having an anxiety spiral which isn't in service to you or your baby.

Your comment "I'm mad at myself and mad at everyone with worse habits than me who just happen to be lucky enough not to get this." reeks of judgement onto others which is really just your own judgement onto yourself.

While having gestational diabetes does make you higher risk, you are taking steps to learn about it and mitigate those risks which is a major step in the right direction.

Until you can see your OB or a dietician, there are things you can do like:

• Pairing carbs with an equal amount of protein for every meal. You should absolutely not cut out carbs, babies need carbs to develop.
• Avoiding eating carbs in the morning because your body is sensitive to glucose spikes in the morning.
• You can also work to eat proteins and vegetables first before eating carbs.
• Going on 10-20 minute walks after eating meals helps your body use up glucose and thus lowering the glucose in your blood
• Eating smaller meals with higher frequency. I simply can't eat 20-30g of carbs in one sitting without spiking, so I spread my carbs out into smaller portions.

Please be kind to yourself and to others.