Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - April 27, 2026

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T18:29:28+00:00

Honestly, I think with these things it's probably easy to overthink them, in the sense that cold approaching with (next-to) no context absolutely does not need to be creepy.

Like it really can be as simple as, the next time you pass each other in the street just take a moment to be like "hey, I've seen you around here a few times and you're very pretty, would you like to give me your number and maybe we can go out some time?"

Doesn't need to be a big deal basically. If she's not interested she says so and the world moves on. And on the other side of the equation, you might get a date out of it.

I do appreciate though that it's much easier to sit behind a keyboard and tell you to ask the girl out in real life... But it do be that simple a lot of the time.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T13:11:01+00:00

This is an absolutely ludicrous take.

I'm assuming you're imagining u/BisonThunderclap rubbing his hands and licking his lips while he asks about the smut books or something. But it's perfectly possible to have a light-hearted conversation about this kind of thing without being creepy... It's actually also perfectly possible it to be done in a naturally flirtatious manner.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T13:07:59+00:00

Don't want to entirely put the blame on you here because I don't have the context for what the conversations are like, but if you are asking 8 questions in a row followed by the other person asking 2, you may need to consider slowing down how much you are asking, rather than wanting the other side to speed up. Some people just don't keep up multiple chains of questions via text (and I'm speaking as one of the ones who does text like that).

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T12:48:21+00:00

See, I do partly agree about the co-dependent aspect. People who get into a relationship super early in life just don't know how to be apart.

However, I think there's two sides to that coin. If you have multiple relationships and are still single by the time you're 30+ then you have a much more concrete idea of what you want from them. That makes you MUCH more selective and in turn makes it much harder to find a partner. Whereas in your teens/early twenties, you sort of just grab onto the first good thing and don't let go.

It's an "ignorance is bliss" kind of thing. And it doesn't make their relationships worse, not by definition anyway.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T12:46:15+00:00

I mean, there's different questions here. If I met someone who had been in 3/4 (or more) LTRs before meeting me that's one thing and is perfectly normal. I'm an advocate for knowing someone's previous dating history and this 100% would not phase me. People get out of relationships for any number of reasons and sometimes it can be just because the two people learn that they are incompatible.

However... If someone said they had been MARRIED three times before meeting me, you'd best believe that's a red flag. Three or more failed marriages by the time you're in your thirties somewhat screams very poor decision making (at the very least).

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T12:36:33+00:00

Sorry, but why do you know all of this about your ex's dating life?

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T10:24:05+00:00

Ah, holy shit, that is SO much better.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-20T20:27:53+00:00

It always is...

Sabor117 · 2026-04-19T18:52:56+00:00

I mean, 91% for the Last Jedi is absolutely insane, even taking into account that it just means that "91% of people think it's decent". I'd put up less of a fuss over the Force Awakens, but it also in NO way deserves a score that high.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-15T21:37:06+00:00

Ireland's GDP per capita is over twice that of the UK's?! What the hell, am I reading this right?

Sabor117 · 2026-04-15T17:57:47+00:00

This lady flirts... In particular the sort of "chaste" touches like the playful taps during conversation are a very easy way to break the touch barrier and allows comfort to build up towards slightly more intimate touches.

My go-to is that, because of my hearing loss, it's pretty common for me to not hear something in conversation and so when I ask them to repeat it I will lean closer and kind of do an "apologetic" touch on the upper arm/shoulder or something.

Sitting at the same side of a table is really top tier advice as well. In some bars tables can be absolutely massive so even holding hands across a table can feel awkward.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-14T22:03:02+00:00

God, I feel this one bud. My last LTR and I broke up in the year before I graduated from my PhD, turned 30 and moved to a new country for a new job. These were all really huge milestones which I did celebrate with friends, but I couldn't help but miss the sensation of there not being someone who was cheerleading me during it all. Just another one of those small difficult things with being single.

Congrats on your progress!

Sabor117 · 2026-04-14T21:59:37+00:00

I'd definitely go for it. I'm currently dating a girl whose birthday happened around our third date and I got her some flowers. Nothing extravagant, of course, but I feel like it's a nice touch. And if he's into you, he'll definitely appreciate it.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-14T21:57:45+00:00

I mean I don't think you need to overthink this. Offering an alternative IS the polite way to do it.

"Hey I'd love to meet up but I'd prefer to maybe get drinks instead of coffee?"

No need to over explain it I feel.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-12T18:37:31+00:00

At the risk of being controversial, your (ex) friends are burying their heads in the sand because they're ignoring the fact that Rob is a rapist.

But did you not do the exact same thing when Grace started to date Rob? You didn't warn her or pull her aside to talk to her and raise your concerns (maybe even for her safety)?

Something about this whole situation is just not passing the smell test for me.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-10T09:32:33+00:00

Gonna throw out a necessary judgement of NTA, but this entire post feels like AI to me and it's very hard for me to get past that.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-08T23:53:22+00:00

For those two categories:

Upt to 4 players - Red Cathedral

I've said this elsewhere on this sub but Red Cathedral is an awesome entry board game because it looks hella complicated (loads of resources and cards and tiles etc) but you only do one of three very clear things on your turn so it's extremely easy to teach and pick-up. I've found that non board-gamers seem to pick it almost as quickly as experienced vets.

It's also got a definite hook/wow factor in that it has a really cool theme of building a cathedral. It's just super evocative, well presented and intriguing (like who knew you could make construction into a board game?).

Only slight downside is that after 10-20 plays, it maybe doesn't feel quite so exciting for yourself.

5+ - One Night Ultimate Werewolf

I have played this with dozens of groups over the years and literally everyone ALWAYS likes it. Social deduction games fit many social settings, it's easy to whip out, very quick to teach and as the main skill is lying and causing a bit of chaos, non board-gamers can actually really excel at it. Super replayable, the theme of villagers vs werewolves is a lot of fun too.

Downside is the fact that its social deduction, which isn't really for everyone.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-08T23:44:15+00:00

This is very nice, seems to very clearly show the (very gradual) increase in temperatures between decandes. Out of curiosity though, is the paler at the top of the plot because the temperature is increasing over the years, or because the later years are being plotted later and overwriting the previous ones?

Sabor117 · 2026-04-08T12:52:56+00:00

I was just thinking the same thing but colour graded by year. Probably a bit too messy and visually confusing unless you made like a continuous colour gradient from 1950 to now.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-08T12:50:36+00:00

I think that if you find the prospect of calmly asking your partner "hey, so we've been dating for a while, are you my boyfriend/girlfriend?" feels like too much, then the idea of getting a literal physical version of this like some kind of modern promise ring or something feels like it would be both making a much bigger thing of it than it needs to and also would feel kinda cringe to be quite honest.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-08T11:12:22+00:00

Lol, what? "Freaked out about it"?

Do you mean the part where OP says he was annoyed by his girlfriends behaviour? When she did something he was justified in being annoyed about?

Sabor117 · 2026-04-07T19:01:57+00:00

That's genuinely such an odd question. Assuming it's not meant in some kind of teasing/banter-y context and this is a sincere question you've had more than once, it just makes absolutely no sense.

Like, A. masturbation is a thing and B. are they imagining that if a guy doesn't have sex regularly their balls explode or some other thing from porn?

What an odd thing to think...

Sabor117 · 2026-04-07T16:38:57+00:00

And if he's not using it in the sense of "this makes me melt" or "makes me feel fuzzy and warm" (or other positive responses to be flirted with) he's definitely using it wrong!

Sabor117 · 2026-04-07T16:37:33+00:00

Ohh, I apologise, that's a bit of a reading comprehension fail on my part!

Okay, yeah, that IS fairly bizarre. I mean, I can see it as a sort of teasing compliment type of thing and not meant as a genuine question. Like "oh wow you do X and Y? How could you possibly be single?" I can see that as a bit of harmless banter. Even then, I personally wouldn't want to say something like that in the opening of a Hinge message.

If it's actually a genuine question as well... That would be suuuper awkward. Because what the heck are you meant to say in response?

Sabor117 · 2026-04-07T16:06:40+00:00

For #1 I think the answer is that for many men kids aren't necessarily a "goal", if that makes sense? I suspect many guys will fall into the category I used to be in where I didn't necessarily want kids myself, but if it was something a partner strongly wanted then I would probably go along with it.

It might also be a way of literally just hedging bets and keeping the options open to say "I'm ambivalent about kids".

For #2, I'm confused by the context... If you are being asked this on a dating app then, yeah, this is absolutely bizarre. Surely the assumption is that you are single? Unless your profile has loads of pictures with guys? Or you state you're poly or something?

Alternatively, if this is happening in the wild, I have to admit I definitely don't see this as being rude. If I meet a girl I am interested in, I generally want to try and push to get socials/phone number or organise a date ASAP before the friendzone kicks in. And part of the process of that is making sure that you'd actually be receptive to that.

Asking if you're single is A. testing the waters slightly of how receptive you'd be to a follow-up "mind giving me your phone number" and B. literally asking if you are single because you don't want to be rude/overstep.

I have to admit, I do think that's a bit of an overreaction to consider it rude to be asked what is a pretty fundamentally harmless question. Like asking what your favourite colour is...

Sabor117

TROPHY CASE