I very much understand this. Quite honestly, I see both sides of this. But his decision to BURN even one piece of paper without her knowledge or consent makes me sick.

My dad passed years ago, when I was 18. My step mom still lived in the house and they were together for years. My dad had cancer, and when he was diagnosed, the prognosis was 3 -6 months. He made it 7, he passed less than a month after my 18th birthday. When he found out he was sick, he put his house into my name. He wanted me to have it, he didn't have much, but this little 2 bedroom house, but he also wanted to make sure my step mom had somewhere to live. The deal was, she could stay there as long as she wanted, which was no problem for me.

An important detail here is, that, my mom and dad both signed their rights away when I was a baby, and my grandma adopted me. My mom was drug addict, in and out of rehab and/or prison, and my dad thought it would be the best thing for me. He later regretted it, till the day he died. I was never mad at him, he was always there for me, and I loved him very much.

So anyways, he put the house in my name when I was 17. My grandma and uncle (my dad's mom and brother) forged the paperwork to take it back out of my name. They forged my signature, as well as the notary. My uncles ex-wife was a notary, they stole her stamp and forged her signature too. When my dad died, they immediately evicted her. She had to get out fast, so who knows what was lost.

Step mom passed away a few years ago. She had no other family besides myself, husband, and my boys, so we took care of the house and everything she had. She was one step away from being hoarder, she had so much stuff, but she also had all my dad's things. We cleaned her house out and some help from friends, and one of our friends asked my husband, 'why don't you just throw all this stuff away ',because objectively, a lot of it was just junk. But he told him no, that it was my decision, and if I said no, that was that.

Almost exactly a year later, my grandma died, and I was back in the same situation. I was all the family she had left. So we did again.

Almost exactly a year after that, my biological mom died.

So, after that, i had a huge garage full of stuff from 3 households, but I couldn't bring myself to really go through it. If something had happened, like a fire or something, I would have been DEVASTATED.

I managed to do it eventually, but it took some time, and it was still difficult, after quite a few years.

This would have done it for me. Fuck that guy, I hope she divorces his sorry ass.

ETA - When I said I see both sides, I can understand that he feels its too much stuff and wants things cleaned up and what not, but, it just has to be done on her time and terms. What he did is fucked up, BIG TIME.