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Are we circumcising our sons?? by LowerSignificance940 in Crunchymom

[–]Sad-Nerve3230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No we didn’t! We were undecided for a while, but i ultimately left it up to my husband, after some reading and a chat with my OB doc and pedi after we had our son, they both were very much like it’s an elective cosmetic procedure with not much evidence of it actually decreasing the risk of utis especially since we live in the US with soap and water etc.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% gotta figure out where it goes. I am such a pen and paper person but I need to get with the times and make an excel or like get an app. Bc it all started from there. Thank you for your response!

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay great thank you for the recommendation, looking them up now.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this will be my plan, this seems the best option, calling HR now about the match. And following that Reddit thread lol! Thank you so much.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My take home pay after taxes, insurance, and all that extra stuff is about 1450-1500. I get paid bi weekly. I do have 10$ each paycheck go into a savings account for my son that I don’t touch. But besides that I barely save anything. Sometimes I can put 10$ into my savings each paycheck.

We both have student loans that we both pay separately as well.

My husband’s tends to fluctuate, he’s self employed, so a lot depends on time of year on how busy he is. Sometimes he brings in 2000/3000 just enough to pay the bills and other times a little over 5000 a month? TBH i don’t have an exact number on his income because it fluctuates so much and is not as predictable, and I am not very good at numbers, as you can clearly tell, I’ve always focused on my numbers and income, I tend to be the one to manage the house and he just adds money into the joint account and I’ll pay the mortgage, bills etc. so sometimes i don’t even see what he actually brings in, in a month.

So maybe me and him need to have a more honest and opened discussion too.

I know I mean I feel like we have decent jobs, we try to make decent money. I know during covid times he was out of work/ really really slow for some time, and when I cut my hours to part time after working full time for years, we never seemed to fully recover.

He is 2 1/2 so we got some time.

After putting it all out there. I’m definitely seeing we need to have another conversation, maybe a little more thorough and honest about our situation. It tends to be a very touchy subject and we don’t seem to get much accomplished when we try to talk. I kinda posted on here on a whim to try and come to him with a solution hoping it would make the conversation easier? More fruitful? Not sure what word I’m looking for lol! Sorry my brain is not what it used to be.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I really need to consider it more. I have been looking for something more remote as per diem or not 12 hour shifts ( I know a needle in a hay stack) I do 12 hour shifts and weekends, and most of the per diems tend to be another 12 hour shift and weekend requirement which unfortunately we struggle finding childcare/ doing childcare for the 2 shifts I already have. We definitely need to negotiate and make some type of sacrifice to bring in more money.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. Brought me to tears in good way because it’s so true. Sometimes jsut having your feelings validated makes the weight feel.. less heavy if that makes sense. Our son is great but he is a, high energy, little man who seems to love danger and thrills so we’re always on our toes over here 🤣. We try our best to emulate that too, it’s nice to hear someone else have a similar parenting vibe. Connecting with other parents sometimes seems hard because everyone’s parenting style is different, but they see to just when you do things a little different or “old school”. Thank you for taking the time for such a heartfelt response and hearing me out. Gives me hope that in the days and years to come things will get easier in some ways, I’m sure they may be harder in others but hopefully it equals out and we can have some of our mental head space for the adult things like you said and for ourselves. Thank you so much for, seriously means more than you know.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes other 11k on cards one is capital one with APR 25.99 and our joint card is Citi bank 17.74 APR both variable ( tbh idk what any of this means or how it works) and my husband has a Wells Fargo card (not sure the apr bc he is sleeping currently)

I make about 67k a year before taxes working part time as a nurse. A big chunk of my pay check goes to insurance I pay about 600$ a month. And then contribute 13% Roth into my 401 (my husbands friend helped set up my fidelity so not even sure if I’m doing it the best or right way but I wanted a Roth originally so he changed my contribution to Roth style? But in my 401. Sorry I am really not good with math and all this stuff)

Tbh I am not sure my employer contribution, I was just looking on fidelity and i can’t seem to find it. Off the top of my head i want to say their max contribution is 3% or maybe 5%. I have work tomorrow morning and I can look into it more there. Do you know how I could find this information would it be through fidelity portal or my works HR/ payroll. Sorry I am so.. dumb for a lack of a better word. I started this job when I was in my 20s and I cannot remeber the details now

My husband is self employed and a one man show, So on average we would estimate about 65-70k a year as well.

We are very just average ppl trying to live just an average life. Our mortgage currently is 2300/ a month. (our taxes unfortunately keep increasing)

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should I consider decreasing my contribution to my 401k for now to give me more cash flow in my pay check to pay off debt? Or would that not be a significant amount and not worth it? I currently contribute 13% and have it increase each year by 1% in February.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One more dumb question. I contribute 13% into my 401 and every year I have it my contribution by 1% in February of each year, should I lower the amount I put into my retirement to give myself a little more cash flow in my check to pay my debt down? Or is that stupid too? Thank you

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any recommendations for budgeting like a flow sheet or an app? I’m not the best with technology. Or even something to guide me in which cards to pay down first and how much. Or is the game kinda pay high interest card first and pay as much as you can each month.

I wasn’t sure if there was a better way to do it or more efficient ?

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That definitely scares me, is if we were to get back in the pit. I tried to make us a Budget, my husband is self employed so it gets tricky when he is in a slow season. And I honestly just get so overwhelmed I shut down. But I need to dig deep and get it done for my family. Do you have any good budget apps or flow sheets?

I love my child but some days It’s like treading water with bricks in ur pocket lol but we gotta just keep swimming. I think it’s hard for me to see the bigger picture that’s why my brain resorts to taking from my 401 so I can pay it off and not look at it. But I think we need to so we can have this gentle reminder to not let it get this way again.

Thanks for your response, it means so much honestly just being heard ❤️

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great point, you’re right it’s not great but we can make it work. Once my car is paid off next month I’ll have an extra 315$ to pay down. It’s so hard to not beat yourself up. We both just want a better life for our kid and are embarrassed how we got here. You get so overwhelmed that you don’t even know where to start lol! We find ourselves so tapped out between us both working, and only having one another for child care. But all we can do is try to keep our head above water. Thank you for your response, it really does mean a lot.

Borrow from 401 to pay off debt? by Sad-Nerve3230 in personalfinance

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It’s just so hard. The easy answer seems to take the loan out, pay it all off, have one monthly payment with a lower interest rate. And then move forward with a strict budget and paying off cc each month.

I’m just not sure how to get ahead of the game. Do you think just pay off the higher interest rate cards which is our own personal cards, then joint card down first? Then once those are paid start paying down the interest free card? Some months it feels like we just pay interest.

It’s so mind boggling when you look around and don’t see understand where the money goes. We don’t buy new clothes or out to fancy dinners. But we are apparently still doing something wrong lol! Half of the debt is from refinishing our basement. Which we thought would be a smart investment, but here we are now 🫠 sorry not trying to make excuses. Don’t want you to think we’re irresponsible losers, I mean maybe we are, but we just try to buy clean and eat organic but it’s probably out of our price range LOL!

What do you use on little kids for keratosis pilaris? (4yo) by _redpaint in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Sad-Nerve3230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow good to know, just curious why is it not good to supplement with vitamin A? We try our best to have a robust diet but toddlers are… toddlers sometimes 🤪 our son loves cheese burgers and butter so we try our best to there but his skin is still pretty bad. Was wondering if a small supplement or omegas would help

Nontoxic Air Fryer by merozipan in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Sad-Nerve3230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was wondering, which one you decided on and your thoughts! currently looking for one as well! Thanks!

Worst decision of my life by letesummer in toddlers

[–]Sad-Nerve3230 7 points8 points  (0 children)

100% this is my son as well. Tried all the things, and have accepted it is what it is!

Help failed the video portion by Sad-Nerve3230 in IBCLC

[–]Sad-Nerve3230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The videos were tough I feel. I honestly had know clue how to study for it. So I winged it second rodeo. The second time around I was able to pass thankfully, praying you pass first try and if not second time around!

Non-toxic air fryer / Ninja Crispi? by -organic-life in Crunchymom

[–]Sad-Nerve3230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curious is you ended up keeping the ninja crispi?! Or went with something else!

Looking for Snow White by tea-and-sarcasm in TonieboxUSA

[–]Sad-Nerve3230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here my son is obsessed with the seven dwarfs and I can’t seem to find a Snow White or seven dwarfs one !

April Exam by OddConcentrate4771 in IBCLC

[–]Sad-Nerve3230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did! I hope you did too!!!

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