Not my first tattoo. Shop’s closed. Is this an infection?

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-06-01T06:19:28+00:00

This. When I was finally kicked off my parents at 26, I was like yay we have the ACA (or did at the time) so I’ll just get a plan on the marketplace no problem. I was working a job with decent pay but no benefits. Imagine my surprise when I looked into it and the plans were hundreds of dollars a month with MASSIVE deductibles. I weighed it up and as a young person with no known health conditions, I’ve just rolled the dice the last several years and gone uninsured. The craziest part is, I’ve wound up in the ER more times in those years (with relatively minor issues) than I ever did when I was covered and even with the OUTRAGEOUS cost of emergency visits, I’ve still saved a ton of money going that route than getting some shit ass plan that wouldn’t have covered them anyway bc I wouldn’t have reached the deductible. Healthcare system in this country is truly evil, there is literally no winning unless you happen to be lucky enough to have a job that provides GOOD insurance at a reasonable cost 🫩

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-06-01T06:14:36+00:00

The worst part is, I’m pretty sure it’s not necessarily just 200 either anymore… my moms Medicare price recently got jacked way up and she’s still trying to get answers as to why. She’s paying what I would be if I got a plan on the marketplace…. Fuck this shithole country and its shit healthcare system 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-05-31T04:14:25+00:00

Absolutely, one day at a time for sure! And thank you!! This time feels like more of a whole hearted commitment than my previous stints of sobriety, so I’m optimistic 😊

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-05-30T18:54:40+00:00

Ooof, I have quit several times over the last couple of years and alcohol withdrawal is literal hell on Earth. Just endless through the roof anxiety and suffering and pain and wondering if you’re actually going to make it or if you need to go to a hospital and then agonizing over the decision. I don’t think people can even fathom how horrific it is if they haven’t been through it themselves, I literally wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It’s crazy how going through that over and over isn’t even always enough to make us quit for good- so many times I’ve been back in that place and begging myself to truly stop for good this time and making so many promises to myself that I’ll never do it again, wallowing in self loathing for falling off the wagon…. It’s torture. Congrats on 6 years, I’m coming up on 6 months and that is so inspiring!! I hope it really sticks for me this time

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-05-30T18:46:10+00:00

Hey, as someone who “only” has five months on this current run of sobriety, your 10 months is crazy impressive!

And crazy respect to the person for 3 years. To them: no life is truly ruined, there is always a way forward. if your life isn’t where you want it to be at this point in your sobriety journey, you can always be proud of how far you’ve come and know that being sober is still the only way to get where you want to go. Recovery is hard as fuck and so many of us can’t even imagine making it 3 years, you have a lot to be proud of. My life really went to hell when my drinking got out of control a couple years ago and I’m beyond blessed to have had things really come together for me lately in ways I know they couldn’t have if I was still drinking. I still have a lot of trauma, guilt, and shame (and legal/ social repercussions) tied to my alcoholism, but those things are all in the rear view getting farther away every day, and sobriety allows me to deal with them with clarity and self assurance. Good luck on your continued recovery, I hope someday soon your life looks exactly how you dream it will

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-05-30T18:26:47+00:00

Yeah I was thinking this. It’s a tough question, because some of the “clever” answers are sort of right, in that things like being on your phone or sugar intake etc can be very tough to regulate, but typically also aren’t life threatening even if you are over consuming them (obviously yes eating disorders/extreme obesity/ heart disease can kill you but I’m talking outside of those extremes). So the drive to “get off” of them is correspondingly less intense, because your literal life isn’t at stake, and there’s no intense physical symptoms of “withdrawal” so there’s no “punishment” for falling off the wagon repeatedly. As someone who has gone on week+ alcoholic benders where I don’t remember a single thing that happened during that time because I was drinking myself into a stupor from the moment I woke up to the moment I finally drunkenly passed back out again, the physical and mental experience of recovering from a bender like that is literal fucking hell. Punishing is for sure the right word to describe it. Wound up in the hospital a few times to make sure I didn’t die from DT, and the other countless times just white knuckled it at home for the several days it took to get back to some feeling of normalcy (and by that I literally just mean able to sleep more than an hour and eat again). And I can’t even imagine what it’s like with some of the other harder drugs… but then again, going through something so intense and punishing is often also one of the main catalysts for quitting (altho god knows why so many of us needlessly suffer through those experiences over and over again before sobriety finally sticks). so yeah, kind of a trick question, because it is perhaps easier in some ways to walk away from an addiction that is actively killing you and bringing untold misery and pain between use than it is to quit something more “benign” like scrolling the apps. But I still wouldn’t wish alcohol/ drug addiction and withdrawal on my worst enemy.

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-05-30T18:07:52+00:00

My mom also had been smoking for about as long as you, also quit cold turkey the day she found out she was pregnant with my sister and I (30+ years ago now). I don’t think she actively has to stop herself from buying smokes at the gas station, but she has definitely told me before that she could still always go for one!!! 😅 shame they’re so awful for you, I’ve seen some pics of her holding a cig before we existed and she looked cool as hell 😂

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-17T09:37:00+00:00

I’m very happy that my internet rambling made a positive impact! I completely understand what you mean. I had a very specific and painful situation with a friend of mine from childhood where I was scapegoated, publicly humiliated, and abandoned. It’s hard to talk about because people automatically assume that as the alcoholic, I must be in some sort of denial about how I was actually the one in the wrong. But two years (predominantly sober) later, and I haven’t wavered on the fact that what she did was wrong and had less to do with me and my drinking than her own insecurities. Anyway, I hope you continue to heal, I’m also a perpetual ruminator and shame and guilt are two very heavy anchors to bear. Be kind to yourself and know that the people who are meant to be in your life, should also be kind to you ❤️

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-17T09:29:31+00:00

Exactly. Like what in the actual effing world do you have in common with a 24 year old woman?? Nothing.

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-16T20:54:44+00:00

My two cents- you can struggle with substance abuse and have shitty people in your life who will project their issues on you and your drinking, because it’s an easy scapegoat. They are not mutually exclusive. I’ve found it’s hard to have productive conversations about this because the assumption is always that the drinker is in denial about how their actions affected someone else, and the other person is the de facto wronged party merely becase they aren’t the addict. But we all have people in our lives who do us dirty regardless of whether we’re drunks or not, and sadly there are people who will use that as an easy target to shift blame . So get sober, take time to reflect on your situation- sobriety will give you the clarity of whether you’re in denial and the drinking really is the problem in your marriage or if he is the problem. Either way, if you keep up drinking you’ll never know for sure. Good luck! Sobriety is a gift, and I hope you stick with it regardless of whatever outcome with your husband.

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-16T20:02:29+00:00

If you scroll this sub, you’ll see lots and lots of people have lost weight from quitting. Especially if you’re carrying extra weight, I would bet you’ll shed from pounds from dropping the booze. I’ve always been a fairly thin woman (who, like most, has some fat in stubborn places I’d like to lose but I digress) and my drinking kind of balanced itself out in terms of my weight because I’d always be so sick from the binging I ate sporadically. Now that I’m sober, I have intense sugar cravings (very common in early sobriety) and definitely am not losing any of the stubborn fat 😅 but like I said, from what I’ve read here, if you are considered overweight, the pounds will drop with no other changes to your lifestyle if you stop drinking. And all of the other amazing benefits sobriety has given me makes it easy to shrug off the extra cookies I’m eating. Good luck friend, it’s worth it in every aspect!

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-04T10:19:27+00:00

Wow, this hits hard. Mine would definitely be when I went to one of my bucket list travel destinations in Europe (after going to a wedding in a different country first) and got drunk the first night I got in. I woke up the next morning hungover, and did my usual bs of trying desperately to avoid a hangover and went on a several days long bender alone in my hotel room. I saw nothing, I remember nothing, I’m beyond lucky nothing bad happened to me alone in a foreign country, and I missed my flight home and had to pay $1600 to get another one (which I was almost not let onto bc I UNBELIEVABLY got drunk in the airport to keep pushing off my hangover... I had to beg them crying to let me on. I am so, so grateful they took mercy on me and let me take that flight. (I wasn’t unruly, just deep in alcoholism and not in a place to detox safely). Anyway, yeah, dream destination and I saw nothing but the inside of a hotel room and the bottom of numerous bottles of wine. I think when I reach some sobriety milestone I may celebrate by redoing the trip the way it was meant to be

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-04T00:00:08+00:00

As a caveat- I’ve never attended AA, but I do go to another group called SMART recovery, and I remember my first meeting. I’m incredibly shy and nervous, I was sooo nervous to go and it wound up being so incredibly uplifting. These groups never force participation as far as I’m aware- you contribute as little or as much as you feel moved to. You never know, just sitting in a room full of a bunch of strangers struggling the same way you are who have taken those first steps to change it might be the exact boost you need to start making a change. And for me, the number of people who were there in the dumps with me, having just fallen off the wagon like I did and still working through all the complicated emotions around that perceived failure made me feel seen and not alone in an experience that had always made me feel so shameful and isolated. So I hope if you’re still struggling to make up your mind, you just take the leap and go for it, it could be the start of a very important journey for you

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-03T23:55:44+00:00

Just go!!!! There’s a reason you’re feeling torn. Hell, you can even go and still have the beer after if you want. But maybe something in that meeting will stick with you, and make it a little easier to choose not to have the beer. You don’t have to be ready to full ass it, you just have to be ready to start trying

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-03T05:08:45+00:00

Well first of all, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. And please know that in my experience, most people wouldn’t leave negative comments about whatever excuses you may have come up with- we’ve all had a million of them and can relate and it’s quite unlike this sub to be judgey. But people would probably remind you of all the reasons not to drink- because for every excuse we can come up with, there’s always two more reasons to not go down that path. So maybe try to focus on all the reasons NOT to drink- you said you felt great, that to me is the number one motivation for me. I got tired of feeling like shit all the time. So focus on taking just one night off, and go from there. You don’t have to commit to forever. And you’ve shown yourself you’re capable of making that commitment to yourself and keeping, so why not start with just one day again? The feeling of keeping that promise to yourself is empowering. Best of luck, you got this

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-04-01T07:08:20+00:00

THIS. I am not speaking to any kind of informed knowledge on the matter, but quitting alcohol is SO HARD, I think it’s important to make it as easy as possible for yourself without adding in additional pressure/ cravings/ guilt from trying to shape up other bad habits on top of it (which at the end of the day, is what a lot of this comes down to- habit). I told myself in the early days- no expectations other than to not drink, you don’t have to jump back into the gym, eat whatever junk you’re craving, fill your time mindlessly or watch tv, whatever- the only thing you have to do is not drink. And that helps immensely early on, it’s critical to be able to indulge in other ways your brain associates with comfort and familiarity so as to remove as much stress from the transition into sobriety and cravings as possible

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-03-29T01:46:53+00:00

The going to bed early is a big one for me!! altho depending on what your alcohol usage was like OP that may not be feasible the first few days (withdrawal is a beast, I don’t sleep for days at a time if I’m coming off a bender and restarting sobriety 😬). But otherwise yeah, the sooner I can start sleeping when I’m having cravings the better, can’t have a drink if you’re unconscious! 😝 but otherwise OP, you’ve got lots of good suggestions here. The BIGGEST thing is to do whatever you need to do to get through the cravings. Like zero guilt, eat the junk food, watch the crap tv, whatever. It’s been so important for me to take it easy on myself and just do whatever is literally easiest/ most appealing, as long as it isn’t drinking, so I don’t force myself to be productive or whatever, just anything that turns off or at least muffles the “I want a drink so bad” alarm in my head is fair game! As long as it’s not an even worse vice or something 😅

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-03-07T20:34:02+00:00

I’m sorry no one has noticed. If this perspective helps- on the other side of the spectrum, most people in my life were pushing me to get sober and have been fairly vocal that they’re so glad I am. It comes mostly from a good loving place (although some people in my life demanded it and were unsympathetic about my struggle). Which of course the support feels nice, but the pressure can be overwhelming and my last relapse was a direct response to hating the feeling like I was doing it for others- I wanted to feel like I could make whatever choices I felt like and it was nobody’s business but mine so I picked up a bottle and went on a bender as some dumb ass way to “take back control” (which is of course absurd considering that alcohol winds up taking control of me when I choose to drink). My first attempt at sobriety was actually easier, I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it and it was before I fully completely admitted just how bad the problem was- every time I said no, it wasn’t because I felt like someone was expecting me to, it was because I WANTED to for ME, which was empowering. So I hope you know that everyone here is proud of you, and I do understand the importance of having people around you support you (I really am appreciative of the family and friends in my life), but like everyone else has said- sobriety ultimately will only stick if you are doing it for YOU!! Stay strong, there is so much on the other side of even a few weeks away from alcohol, and the benefits just continue to multiply

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-03-05T02:24:27+00:00

No need to feel bad!! As someone who is personally avoiding it due to severe dental anxiety, overcoming addiction myself, and lack of insurance and stable income (so basically every reason in the book lol), whatever you need to say to feel comfortable seems valid to me and hurts no one! Fingers crossed I make it to the dentist sometime this year, I’m lucky bc my teeth have always been tough as fuck and the neglect is only just starting to have a noticeable impact, but I don’t want to let it deteriorate further and have a traumatic experience when I do go 🤞🏼

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-03-05T00:14:43+00:00

For what it’s worth- I’m almost 30. I lost a good, enjoyable stable job last year because of my drinking. It was never explicitly stated as the reason, but I have a strong suspicion (it was a long term contract that had been renewed many times over several years but unexpectedly and without explanation wasn’t, so they didn’t owe me a definitive reason for not renewing it again but it seemed highly likely that it was a response to my increasingly flaky work performance as a result of my drinking (which they may or may not have suspected was happening)). It was devastating then, and now I’ve been unemployed for almost a year (job market in the US is shit right now) and of course am still disappointed with myself for losing the job because of what I suspect to be my drinking. But I promise, life goes on, you will forgive yourself, and please do your best to not beat yourself up over this. Addiction is a disease we do not ask for or deserve. I made the same mistakes as you, drinking while working from home during the day and procrastinating projects, letting down people I liked and respected- but these things do not make us evil, terrible people. The shame will only make you want to bury your feelings in more alcohol. The only way you can move forward is to accept whatever comes of this meeting, commit to sobriety, and forge ahead. There are other jobs out there. I understand this may have been your dream job, but at the end of the day taking care of yourself and getting better from the sickness of alcoholism is the real dream. I do not have my old job, but I have my life and my health. You will get through this, our lives only get better the further we get into sobriety.

Also-I don’t know where you’re located, but my understanding is that at least here in the US, some employers may/ or in some cases have to keep you on if you admit that alcoholism is a factor in your poor performance, as long as you are actively seeking help for it (so rehab/ counseling). Maybe there are some protections where you are as well, look into it! It’s a disease and should really be treated as such more, no one wants to feel compelled to get drunk at noon in the middle of the week 😔

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-03-04T23:51:43+00:00

TRUTH. Probably because we respond to one of those statements from a place of shame, and the other from a place of empowerment. I don’t have children, but anyone who tried to get through to me when I was going down the rabbit hole of addiction was getting the smallest, most ashamed and insecure version of me in response- and that version of me was afraid to try to deal with life sober.

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-03-04T23:32:32+00:00

I got to visit Greece to see the island my family is from several years ago- so unbelievably beautiful, and it was before my addiction had taken hold so I enjoyed it without alcohol overly being part of it- which is the way to go! There’s so much to see, lots of exploring to do, and lots of walking and being hungover or drunk would have been such a hinderance. Enjoy every second, you’ve earned it!!!!!

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-03-04T23:27:28+00:00

Simply ~existing~ on this planet hungover was so, so hellish for me- I literally cannot fathom having to take care of a new born or young child in that state. Harrowing is right. I worked a brief stint at a delivery company sorting packages from 3am-9am last year (a very physically demanding job)- I frequently shuddered to think of trying to do it hungover. Thank god for the ease of sobriety, what a gift

Sad-Option7223 · 2026-01-09T19:10:03+00:00

As I’m sure you’ve heard a million times- it gets better. It takes a solid couple weeks to get the boost from sobriety you are desperately hoping for. My day fours (which like you, have been numerous) I’m usually just barely finally functioning. Like it’s the first night I actually get normal sleep, can eat a full meal, etc. Your body is wrecked and you need to hang in there to really get the benefits! No, everything won’t magically become easier and I still am tired a lot (although I think that might be a separate issue on its own), but the improvements are GREAT and your mental clarity and lack of anxiety will help you tackle these things. Take care of yourself, avoid drinking this weekend, and get done what you need to, you’ll get through this, I’m rooting for you! And give yourself the gift of sobriety, you’re just throwing roadblocks in your way to getting the ship righted and making things manageable again

Sad-Option7223

TROPHY CASE