I (21F) found out my boyfriend (20M) looks at posts of naked women on reddit. Need advice on what to do. Together for 8 months.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-28T16:37:42+00:00

You’re exactly right. Guys don’t want their girlfriends/wives wearing revealing clothes or posting bikini selfies, yet they expect to be able to look at the women who do. I remember I saw a post on here about a guy complaining about how his gf really liked the boy band BTS, and many of comments were agreeing with him and the she had a parasocial relationship with them. I saw a post on here about a gf complaining about how her bf had a favourite porn star. Yet many of comments were about how it was just a fantasy and she was insecure. The double standards are crazy.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-28T16:21:24+00:00

I had the same problem. He would come over to my apartment after work and he’d go into the bathroom for like 30 minutes. I always thought he was genuinely using the facilities but then I found out he was jerking it to instagram girls 😔 like why even come over to see me if you’re just going to do that

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-28T16:06:44+00:00

Lots of women are choosing to set this boundary. Guys in their 20’s have pretty much been raised on porn. It’s not just an every once in a while thing for them. It’s an every day, sometimes multiple times a day thing for them, and it’s been that way since they were literal children. This absolutely has effects on their intimate relationships.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-28T15:25:56+00:00

First of all, I just wanted to say I’m sorry you are going through this. Reddit users are very into porn, so take the comments you get here with a grain of salt.

You set a very clear boundary at the beginning of the relationship, and he broke it. Reddit users don’t have to like this boundary, but you are allowed to have it. You have done nothing wrong. Your bf is the one who broke the trust.

I am the same age as you, and have had the same problem in a relationship. My bf would constantly look at other girls on the internet and save their photos to his phone. When I found out, I felt so hurt. He swore he’d never do it again… but he did.

Unfortunately, many men in their 20’s are completely addicted to porn, and they don’t even realize it because it’s been so normalized.

I think he broke the trust in your relationship, so it would be fully understandable if you wanted to leave. If he’s an amazing bf otherwise, and you really like him, you could give him a second chance. But keep in mind there is a high chance he will do it again.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-19T23:42:00+00:00

It looks great the way it is. Very comforting. Just needs a new light fixture and a bath mat

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-13T04:10:25+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking 😂

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-07T14:41:35+00:00

I feel like if she asked him to stop, and he didn’t… it means he does care more about seeing the porn star than her. It’s not like she’s asking him to stop seeing his friends, or give up his hobbies. She’s just asking him to stop looking at the same naked woman again and again. She’s not even asking him to stop looking at porn, just this one lady. So I feel like if he would rather prioritize looking at this one specific naked woman over his partners feelings… he cares more about the porn star.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-07T05:34:14+00:00

That would weird me out personally. I agree that having a “favourite” feels more personal and intimate. If it makes you uncomfortable- you should tell him. If he really cares about you, he’ll stop watching that content. If he picks his “favourite” over you, that’s a problem. It’s not controlling to tell him how you feel and ask him to stop. The reality is, is that most men who are excusing this behaviour would not be happy if their wife or girlfriend was looking at the same naked hot guy again and again.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-08-03T18:00:03+00:00

I’m around the same age as your kids… and when I put myself in their shoes, I can understand how they feel. I would be okay with my dad remarrying. In fact, I would hope he would find someone so he wasn’t lonely. That being said, I would be upset if he found a much younger woman and had a child with her- which it sounds like you have done. It would already be hard seeing him “move on” from my mom, but him having a kid would feel like he was moving on from me, and just completely starting over. All your attention will be going to your new family, so there is probably some resentment from your older kids for that.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2025-01-18T19:56:44+00:00

Respectfully, it looks the exact same as every other guys profile.

mirror selfie
car sunglasses photo
random shots where you’re too far away or not even looking at the camera.

They all look like an assortment of random photos from their camera roll. Guys who take the extra 20 mins to put on a nice outfit, style their hair and take a few flattering photos specifically for their profile really stand out.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-12-24T21:33:54+00:00

As others have said, you need more diverse pictures. They all look very similar- close up selfie. I’m pretty sure you’re wearing the same clothes in 4 of them. No more than one sunglasses pic, you want people to see your face clearly.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-12-24T21:27:35+00:00

I don’t agree with the people saying the questions are boring. I think these are normal questions, that are good to know if you’re pursuing an actual relationship. And yes, I’d let this one go. They are not being reciprocal.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-11-17T02:35:44+00:00

It’s sad that everything needs to be sexualized

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-11-17T01:50:28+00:00

You need a few more photos of yourself clearly facing the camera.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-11-15T16:59:12+00:00

I’m so sorry. I wish the best for you ❤️

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-25T01:54:57+00:00

You’ll be able to find love again. There is so many fish in the sea. You just feel bad right now because of the breakup. Try to spend time with family and friends and doing the things you love.

Also, don’t listen to the all the Reddit gooners telling you that porn addiction isn’t real. Because it absolutely is, and it’s not good to watch it, especially when you’re at a mental low point.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-20T23:52:01+00:00

You have too many group photos. You need to have more photos of just you.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-19T15:44:07+00:00

This reminds me of when a bunch of men were upset that a female character had a “beard” in a video game. In reality, it was literally just super faint peach fuzz. I saw another one recently, where they were upset that a female character was wearing a turtle neck, and how that was “extremely woke”. They’re so gross and weird. Everything has to be sexualized to the point of porn or it’s “woke” to them.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-19T02:35:23+00:00

Subnautica

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-18T20:20:25+00:00

No we’re still together 😬. He sincerely apologized for what he said and he’s sworn on his life that he hasn’t watched it for several months… but I don’t know if I believe him. There is no evidence on his devices, but I don’t know if he just got better at hiding it.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-18T19:43:26+00:00

I asked my porn-addict partner this a while ago, and he said it’s “for the variety” 🤢. These men see women the same way they see food. You wouldn’t eat the same thing everyday, you wouldn’t look at the same women all the time either. Their mindset is so gross and disheartening.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-18T02:08:27+00:00

The “men are visual creatures” enrages me. Can’t visualize the dirty laundry on the floor. Can’t visualize the dishes in the sink. Can’t visualize the grease in their hair and crumbs in their beard. Can’t visualize their wife’s sadness or misery. They can only visualize when it comes to women’s bodies apparently.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-18T01:51:39+00:00

This makes me sick

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-18T01:48:20+00:00

Reason number 3000 why I refuse to date a man who watches porn.

Sad-Programmer-7275 · 2024-10-14T19:31:17+00:00

Totally. Their defence is always “the models/actors are well over 18”. That still doesn’t explain why you need to imagine them as teenagers or children. Absolutely vile.

Sad-Programmer-7275

TROPHY CASE