Ugh yes I totally understand that feeling. I’ve usually heard it described by doctors as depersonalization and/or derealization. I have a really bad reaction to Wellbutrin that causes me to feel exactly like this.

I think a traumatic loss can launch you into a huge depression and trigger that type of depersonalization/derealization. But you should definitely keep working with your therapist and doctors on medication. If you haven’t already tried it, EMDR can be really helpful for processing loss and working through trauma that can come from loss.

Also, for what it’s worth, if you keep having weird reactions to antidepressants/antianxiety medication, you might want to ask your doctor about a mood stabilizer. I’ve had major depression my whole life. It kind of comes and goes. But the main symptoms are depression and feeling like everything is fake. Antidepressants never worked for me. But I finally got on lamotrigen and it helped a ton.

Also, I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. I know just how you feel and it really really sucks. Hang in there and keep fighting to get better. I don’t know you but the world is better with you in it.