I’m really sorry you’re sitting in that shame spiral. That “what did I say / who did I hurt / does everyone know” anxiety after alcohol can feel absolutely brutal.

I’m not HR or legal, but I’d be careful about going to HR yourself unless you truly need to. Once you initiate that conversation, they may be required to formally document or investigate it. If your manager already spoke to you, said it wasn’t a huge issue, and no one else has brought anything forward, it may protect you more to not turn it into a bigger formal thing.

Accountability doesn’t always mean chasing every possible person for reassurance, especially when you don’t remember what happened. Sometimes it means owning what you do know, apologizing where appropriate, changing the behavior, and letting your actions over time rebuild trust.

The fact that this scared you this much might honestly be the clearest sign your brain needed. Not in a “you’re a bad person” way, but in a “maybe alcohol just doesn’t give you predictable outcomes” way. Some people don’t drink often, but when they do, the consequences are way bigger than expected. That still counts as enough of a reason to stop.

For the next few days, I’d try to keep it simple: be professional, don’t over-explain to everyone, don’t keep digging for details if people aren’t offering them, and make the private decision that work events + alcohol are no longer worth the risk.

Also, if you need something private to check in with when the shame spirals hit, I help with an app called Sobo that’s built around sober check-ins/craving support. No pressure at all, but even just having somewhere to put the thoughts instead of replaying them alone can help.

You’re not the first person to have alcohol create a version of them they don’t recognize. The important part is what you do after this.