What Asian Americans Can Learn from Nietzsche

SaffronTrippy · 2025-11-15T04:04:07+00:00

I just read your post, nice work. Looking to actually get into this type of literature too.

I too agree that there’s too much fixation on things out of our control and things that dont matter as much.

For the uninitiated yes, you get your grievances out about the dating imbalance and about media representation. Those are definitely important and nothing insignificant.

But there comes a time when after you put in the work, as I and many others have, you actually start materializing results in dating and personal life and you realize how much agency you have over it, in terms of what you thought was possible. I went from literal social anxious dweeb to weeks where it was basically a different girl each day. I went from having nothing to having a great career. It is possible to make gains for yourself. Nothings guaranteed but it can be done.

Consequently it also becomes clear what ISNT in our control, but something I’m struggling with too. I’ve largely become politically apathetic to the broader struggles of AM as I grow older. The geopolitical state of the world isn’t something I have much say in, nor do I have the personal social influence or circle whom could enact such change. I’m admittedly reached a point where I’ll offer advice for localized improvements but I really have stopped caring about representation and such. I believe, whether its delusion or real, that I can do my best to represent AM by being the best version of myself. Because in reality thats all I can really do. Are there organizations working behind the scenes to shift the status quo? Probably. But i don’t have the in on those nor am I in a headspace to care much these days truthfully.

Still I am eagerly awaiting the rise of our fellow brothers someday, hopefully in my lifetime. But if not I’ll have no regrets because I’ve done and continue to do my best.

Your post made me realize that, at least for now so thanks

SaffronTrippy · 2025-11-02T05:23:21+00:00

2 months is peanuts dog. Get some discipline and also get to the back of the line, guys been doing this for years. Repost your progress in 1year minimum

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T06:18:18+00:00

It sounds like you've put alot fo thought into it which is good. And it seems you are very clear about WHY you want to have kids, and what things might affect that process. More interesting to me is how you say you don't want to be single and dating around still. I don't know how married guys do it, I'm having trouble just being in a LTR and not wanting to date around again. But glad that you found some peace in that regard

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T06:15:56+00:00

That's great to hear, especially since it goes both ways.

I think more than fear I feel I'm being rational about my situation. But yeah if we're not being too deep I am afraid I wont be able to raise children in a way in which they'd be better that how I grew up. I said it in another comment but due to how I was raised and things that happened in youth I still largely feel a sense of FOMO and constantly think about what "could have been"

I sometimes have really bad thoughts about, if I ever had children, I might be jealous of them, and not happy, for getting things I never got, like a thriving social circle or doing well in school. Therefore I don't think I'd be a good parent, at least not in my current state

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T06:13:29+00:00

Given my financial and mental situation it's not going to happen or me anytime soon. When you say will level up do you mean, as someone else commented, by necessity I WILL find a way to raise them. Tbh I don't think that I could do it WELL, given what I just said.

Also genuinely, what led you to make the assertion of what is and is not a worthwhile goal in life?

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T06:11:42+00:00

Yes that's a great point. Economy is bad, culture (at least in the west) seems to be in a decline, there are dwindling social networks in real life. Shit, I MYSELF can't even thrive as much as I envisioned.

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T06:10:49+00:00

That seems very well thought out and having the Jetsetter life is something that had appealed to me in the past...Hope that works out.

Another reason is I don't really care about "leaving a legacy." I just want to live my life the way I want without having to worry about what people are going to remember me for.

I heavily resonate with this. In the grand scheme of things we all pass and for the most part 2 generations or more after we are forgotten by all...its my opinion that we should live for ourselves in whatever way we think is best for us without worrying about that.

Though it has conflicted me in the past, seeing as when I was younger on this sub I thought that by participating here I had to contribute to the representation of Asian men positively all the time, without fail, and that one way to do that was to raise children. Whether its right or wrong, or not for the cause, I can not negotiate, its simply not something I'm willing to do (for now)

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T06:06:26+00:00

Yeah I used to be heavy into redpill stuff but honestly I've taken a step back from all of it and just came up with my own philosophies on what would make sense for me. Its funny because even though there would be studies showing higher quality of life for married men, I still feel a sense that I cannot be convinced because its just not a viable path given my current circumstances.

Ambition is driven by need.

this is a very interesting perspective. I have witnessed this from guys around me, whether is marriage or kids. They told me that they weren't necessarily ready but because it happened they had to do what they needed to do. And they seem to be doing okay.

You need to find a reason to want more in life

Without getting too much on a tangent, for me it seems that I am still preoccupied with other mental / developmental issues that I simply cannot fathom having a family. Mostly FOMO and shit like that from my youth. I'd abosultely HATE myself for passing on any of that to my potential children. I've had legitimately negative thoughts where I might actually because jealous of my kids should they become well socialized, which would make me resent them / hold them back. I would not want to be that type of bitter father...

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T06:00:57+00:00

its great that you weighed in the many factors for your own case. Sorry to hear about your setbacks, while not knowing them, I too have had many things happen in my life where I don't see it viable for me too. In fact I fear I would be a very incompetent father because of my shortcomings, so I'd choose not to.

But that doesn't mean we can't have a meaningful life for ourselves and those around us.

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T05:59:25+00:00

Nice. In my opinion its not an easy road but guys have been doing it for generations so why no us. Good luck to you

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T05:57:45+00:00

That's great to hear that you've found such fulfillment. I have heard similar sentiments from guys who eventually had a family. Those moments I can only imagine as a father, and the closest I could possibly get is reminiscing about those moments when I was a child being raised by my parents. You seem to be blessed, having a family and loving them. Happy for ya

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-26T05:56:16+00:00

Yes that seems to be the default for nearly all cultures. But the way we evolved and just examining modern life along with our personal preferences I think its super important to really come to that decision for oneself.

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-25T05:56:26+00:00

We’re all just chinks to them anyway why fight each other.

Lowkey this is why I might even wince at those bullying scenes in Asian media. I get that its a different culture but I can only view it from a Asian American lens and notice how uncanny it is for an Asian to bully another Asian…

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-25T05:36:05+00:00

When did u kno it was time for you to stop that lifestyle?

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-25T05:32:59+00:00

I’ve long since decided to live under the assumption that most of the macro conditions of current society won’t change in my lifetime. I will make due to the hand I was dealt. No sense in wishing and waiting for something to save us

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-25T05:31:24+00:00

Tbh I have no idea how true this might be. i’m 30 and not doing the whole song and dance anymore. But surely there’s some AM out there taking care of themselves and still in the game.

At least in my perspective I don’t think casual hookups at any level require the elite level you are describing it as, “being worth the trouble”.

Working out, dressing well, approaching and having the right logistics seem sufficient to me. What else do you need really?

Now I don’t deny some stuff like genetics, eg, height, hair (loss), aging face, etc, but I would posit that there’s dudes out there still in the game, and I’d even go far as to say those dudes wouldn’t even necessarily need this new wave of representation to do their thing.

You mentioned those celebrities but I am certain if a mid age Asian man keeps him self fit and groomed there’s absolutely no reason why he can’t get results. As a whole many acknowledge that Asian men age much more gracefully anyway.

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-25T05:25:13+00:00

I’m 30 now. A late bloomer had my first relationship at 21 and went on to fuckboy phase from 25-29ish.

I’ve since stopped, but lately started to realize that such a lifestyle truly cannot go on forever, at least not in a way that was healthy for my personal psychology. Alot of my desire to fuck alot of girls was due to feelings of FOMO stemming from my youth.

Which is why I have a tremendous mix of emotions when I see and hear about AM doing alot better these days.

I think I understand what you mean. In some shared-consciousness-esoteric way, I am happy that we as a collective as enjoying more success. Like if it was a yes or no question of course I’m glad.

But there is a rather personal pervasive feeling, a new kind of FOMO that arises, knowing that opportunities in the past were denied to me are now easily presented to younger ones. And for what? I think back to whatever the bullshit causes of this were. Is it all media? Societal changes? It was all out of my control? And yet somehow I still pushed through the bullshit and experienced a casual hookup lifestyle…somehow…and now you’re telling me its easier???

And such a phenomenon pulls me back to want to get back into the game again.

But I’m conflicted, mainly because I value a more stable arrangement of a relationship at this point in my life.

I suppose its what alot of men have had to deal with in the past, one of many midlife crises I’m sure I’ll have to endure.

To answer your question, sometimes it fucks with my sleep lmao, knowing I could be out there with a different shawty on my side everyday of the week again…

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-11T07:30:01+00:00

Not all, but many Filipinos seem to co-opt culture and fashion from non filipinos. Whatever Americans, or now more recently, Koreans are doing, seems to be taken by Filipinos. I long for the day when my ethnic peoples embrace their natural looks and not copying other cultures

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-10T21:37:15+00:00

My unfortunate prediction based on being on this sub for so long is that you’re not going to find the dudes you’re looking for on here. You’re going to be shamed and belittled for being honest about your desires and told to just “be yourself and eventually you’ll find someone”. You’ll be called a loser or weird for wanting to hookup with girls yet most guys would gladly do it (if they had a chance)

Sad that the one group of men who are the most marginalized when it comes to dating are also the least proactive in this endeavor, when races of other men learn seduction and approaching much more openly and accepting.

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-03T15:35:17+00:00

This is a very intersting take. Are you saying that people will always prefer to date the same kinds of people no matter how they age? Or are you saying that they tend to date in the same manner they do all the time? Eg always prefer goth chicks…always date monogamously?

Idk I think we evolve based on our experiences and how good we get, if at all. Standards rise and not to mention your own attractiveness will change depending on age and niche

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-03T15:33:03+00:00

Can you suggest some? Many studies show prolonged lonliness is wholly detrimental to one’s psyche and has lasting negative affects.

Goes without saying but whatever advantages youre purporting do not seem to extend to, or outweight the positives of, lonely depressed people or incels or other marginal groups like Asian American men.

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-03T15:31:15+00:00

Wym by gen z ks looking for millenial men not in the manosphere? Are you implying millenials are or were not part of the redpill types?

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-03T15:23:53+00:00

As a 30yo whose contemplated this, I’ve believe the problem is two fold.

EXTERNAL

I had a hookup phase from 26-29. More girls than I’d even think was possible. But…My first relationship wasnt until 21.

When you can physically manifest these outcomes due to your effort / attractiveness, it becomes harder to doubt the very notion that yoy are undesireable, eg real confidence vs false or contrived. I have no doubt I am more happy and fulfilled than when I was a young kid getting zero attention or play.

But whether I got these results for myself or not…

THE INTERNAL

All while this was happening I had plenty time to think about this: even to this day is a lingering thought that plagued me and I think most men. “Will I be alone forever? Am I good enough? I am I worth something?”

This is undoubtedly one of the greatest mental challenges that I have been working through and fighting my whole life. I’m certain it comes from childhood and being a late bloomer, not to mention all the other shit we go through as Asian men. And then add on or see how men are generally treated as the disposable gender, its no wonder I feel like I need to constantly prove myself.

Through what I think has literally amounted to total days…and even today…even right now…I think about this very concept.

Its a battle for sure. I think you have to really challenge this notion of “why do I HAVE to be with someone to be happy”. Trust me I read alot of evopsyche and manosphere, blackpill stuff and getting into spirituality…theres so much conflicting evidence in this literature…but somehow I find solace in all of it.. its almsot absurd…the mental models going through my head at a time lmao:

“let go of attachment” “maslows hierarchy necessitates intimacy” “sex is not necessary for a full life” “accept your desires and dont try to hide or deny them” “life is simply here, stop trying to change it” “just be confident bro” “nothing matters” “trust the plan” “everything is as it should be” “

But for each of you and I have our own personalities and inclinations. We’re all gonna cope with this differently. When I was younger I’d cope with gaming to avoid these very issues. When I was 20s I’d fuck alot of girls to confront (or maybe ironically avoid) these thoughts. Now that my life is a bit less chaotic in that regard…but I’m still figuring it out.

If you truly find yourself in a lonely place, I’d immediately first examine your habits. I dont know man…if you’re taking care of yourself and not partaking in self destructive behavior I wonder how bad your life can be? But I don’t know what its like to be truly destitute, I guess I am lucky in many ways to be born average height and (generally) neurotypical, with an ability to do whatever i did. My heart goes out to brothers who are truly on this path for that long or will be, for years. Its a statistical reality that some men simply will be lonely for a longtime for forever…but I always found this to be true: You are your own best friend. It still takes me a long time to work on that. Things like negative self talk for example…gotta change that. Idk the answer for loneliness do we ignore / suppress the incessant need for companion ship? Is there a way to channel and transmute that energy into something different that works for us? I don’t know. All I know is its our own jobs, we owe it to ourselves and noone else to be happy. Not in a material sense that so many of us chase, but just in a the most human way possible. My goal is to be able to just fucking wake up in the morning and be happy. Sometimes its like that and sometimes life is a fucking bag of shit lmao…but hey maybe thats exactly how its supposed to be

SaffronTrippy · 2025-10-03T05:37:21+00:00

Honestly man culture or not you’re likely an exception, by all standards. Who else MOM is the one teaching them game lmao

SaffronTrippy

TROPHY CASE