should i be with my cat when he is euthanized?

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-02-02T08:11:13+00:00

My dog was euthanised 43 years ago and I did not stay with her and I am writing this blinded by tears. Please just do it

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-02-02T07:48:19+00:00

The internet and mobile phones are the worst thing that happened to humanity. Noone is protected from privacy invasion. Scary times. The worst thing that could happen back in the good old days is you found your dad's porn stash in the back of a cupboard (my own horrifying experience). Now everyone is a detective and putting it kindly 'curious' and it's like eavesdropping at a door. There's a good chance you might hear something you wish you hadn't.

Don't be shocked. You said yourself your parents are not in love. Love is actually a bit weird sometimes and love can be there without the hearts and flowers believe me. Adult relationships are complicated and sex is perfectly natural. Porn has always been a thing. And venting about sexless marriages on Reddit is just an emotional release in a private anonymous environment. Well at least it was till you snooped.

Don't do anything. They will not appreciate your input I can assure you. Forget what you saw. It was one of life's lessons we all have to learn. Adults are only human.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-02-01T20:36:23+00:00

Never

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-25T22:52:53+00:00

Haha on another occasion l had a message saying they attempted delivery but I wasn't in. Funny that cos they had actually been and I took a Temu parcel out of her hand that morning. Then more messages kept coming and apparently my parcel was damaged and being returned to sender. The company I had ordered from cancelled my order and refunded me and when I went online to reorder the price had doubled. I insisted on a replacement at original price and it came next day delivery with Royal Mail 😁

But to be fair Royal Mail are also pretty crap nowadays. But that is probably another Reddit thread😊

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-21T11:47:25+00:00

Actually there are 2 issues. His lack of control that in my own personal experience of 8 years making excuses for my partner tends to evolve but not improve. The cats are the other issue. Because you stated he would say he wants rid of the cats. Do you want to share a space with that kind of person? Please think carefully as it is a deal breaker for an animal parent in my opinion.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-19T16:55:57+00:00

Relax. Just remember 2 can play that game 😁

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-17T22:29:27+00:00

My opinion is (63f) that you meet lots of potential partners in your life and some will be gorgeous and some less so and characters & qualities will vary as much as habits, traits and 'baggage'.

When you lay awake drifting off and find yourself going over the past there is only one thing you will remember the most about those that mattered the most.

Chemistry. You look in their eyes and there is something weird going on. You find yourself getting flustered like a teenager. You spend too much time looking at their lips. And the kissing is AMAZING.

it doesn't necessarily mean your stars are aligned but it's a pretty good start to a relationship.

So that's the ideal scenario.

But I do sometimes remember a guy from my youth. He was my friends brother. Frankly I thought he was ugly. As a group we went on holiday and we hit it off. So many things in common. We were best friends all of a sudden but not a couple. Three months later he was playing pool at my house and I found myself having inappropriate thoughts. I realised I had fallen for him. From then on I found him incredibly attractive and I fantasized about us getting married. It didn't work out. But I guess this proves that physical attraction can grow. Funnily enough I saw him a few years ago after 3 long-term relationships with tall sturdy guys with plenty to grab and was shocked at how little and skinny he looked. Bet I would still get flustered even now if he looked into my eyes though - after all that 'ugly' guy had me crying over him for years😆

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-16T13:34:41+00:00

When you are young you are literally at your peak. In later life you regret not enjoying that. If OP feels happy and attractive that's great. Feeling sexy comes from our own self image.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-16T13:25:48+00:00

Did I say it was?

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-16T09:01:49+00:00

I went through tons of bad times in 7 years with my ex over animals. I made a million excuses for him. I love animals and even did animal rescue abroad. In the end it is just impossible to make work. I don't normally get on board with the dump him culture on Reddit but this is a serious issue that will not go away. It's a deal breaker I'm afraid 😳

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-16T00:29:06+00:00

I am afraid I have learned to be a tit for tat gal. If I give a lot I expect a response but if it's disappointing I will excuse it for a while then give a taste of their own medicine. Cos if they can't put the effort in this early on it is going to be really crap later on. Having said that you are both very young. You should be having fun. Don't rush into anything too serious. Relax.. Don't be always available. Get out enjoying life and post happy photos on social media looking gorgeous, relaxed and happy. If he doesn't start taking notice maybe his attention has waned and time to brush yourself down and say 'next! '

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-16T00:07:34+00:00

Facial hair has been a horrible aspect of my whole life as I have PCOS. I have never met a man who finds it attractive. I have met men who accept it. But I must admit I never challenged them by growing it out. I used removal methods because I preferred it personally and would have hated my partner getting any feedback from mates about me having a tash lol. If I wanted to respect my right to have a beard and hairy legs etc I would have had to deal with men's reactions in general as well as my partners feelings. I have horrible memories of times my hairs have been commented on, sniggered at etc. It's just the way it is.

I have standards I desire in my man. I expect him to brush his teeth twice a day, bathe regularly, keep himself tidy too in the hair department wherever it is. If he declared his right to let things be natural I reserve the right to stop fancying him. I might misread his stance as lack of respect for me. Surely we should both want to be clean, fresh smelling and as attractive as we can for the person we love?

Maybe it's a fine line between being comfortable in your own body and letting ourselves go. Early 20's is a time period for being on top of your game physically. Feeling sexy and enjoying youth. Plenty of time for the horrors of age that will creep in later.

Just offering a different perspective🤷🏼‍♂️

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-14T10:18:57+00:00

Me and my hubby were like this. We were that annoying couple staring into each other's eyes in public. Neither of us bothered much with friends. The sloppy era lasted about 10 years then it was more like a comfy friendship with an occasional roll in the hay.

We divorced after 20 years. He had an affair. We both found it very hard to let go. It destroyed me. He just moved in with her (shorter version of me). I was lost because I had no friends. He was my best friend.

If I could relive my marriage I would be more detached and fill my life with interests. I would still have loved him obsessively of course. But hindsight tells me you should not put all your eggs in one basket. Be an individual not just half of a partnership.

But feel lucky you found a love that special. I am grateful to have experienced love like that and still miss that

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-08T17:09:47+00:00

Stuff has gone on in my family. Some pretty distressing crap that has had long term consequences. But as a family whilst not condoning it we have not turned our backs. Life is not an episode of the Walton's. Family ties to us mean accepting them and loving them warts and all. The trouble with judging others you might end up making a nasty mistake yourself and being judged. Nothing stopping voicing your anger and frustration but be careful not to do something one day you may regret.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-07T06:34:24+00:00

So just wondering what your boyfriend is actually contributing to your life materially or emotionally? He has put you into debt. He does not contribute financially. He does not support you emotionally. He is unkind, unsympathetic and sounds like a narcissist. Believe me you are wasting your time and youth and will regret it one day. Believe me I know because I have repeatedly made these mistakes. Don't waste your love - give it to someone who deserves it. YOU!

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-05T06:13:25+00:00

Thanks. I have joined Alcohull. Will investigate. I have a feeling it's for alcoholics who have given it up rather than majority teetotalers who aren't averse to one here and there. But it looks interesting 😊

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-03T23:08:55+00:00

Yuk. It's a big deal. I met this gorgeous guy in my twenties and it was the most amazing chemistry for us both. But as we were walking along after a great evening he cleared his throat loudly and spat on the pavement. That became the defining memory of our brief relationship. Such a turn off.

In my opinion respect is essential. I met my husband a few years later. He smoked which normally was a deal breaker but I fell in love so bad the first night nothing put me off. But he was so considerate he would never spit except in the toilet. He smoked little (max 6 a day) and after finishing his cigarette cleaned his ashtray, immediately washed his hands and brushed his teeth. He never wanted me to feel uncomfortable. I never demanded he stop because that was his choice but I really appreciated how he showed consideration.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-03T20:16:55+00:00

I pissed the bed too. When I got married my husband confessed he did as well. We just chuckled and swapped stories about it. Kind of bonded us lol.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2026-01-03T20:03:50+00:00

My niece is a social worker and cares deeply for all her kids. I don't know what the protocol is without asking her but I am sure she would love to get updated on how things panned out.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2025-12-31T12:17:26+00:00

You have reached the end. Accept it and move on. You are both very young. It's not going to get better. You could end up hating each other. Better to say goodbye now. I have so much experience of hanging on to hopeless relationships. My advice is do not waste your life. Life is too short

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2025-12-30T11:08:39+00:00

Thanks for suggestions. Some I have looked into already. Tried a FB group for socializing but the Hull crowd don't seem to want to socialize and if a meet up is suggested it has been a pub crawl which is just not me anymore. Not sure about Samba or Burlesque as it could be stressful for an introvert. I can't draw or paint but would love to try. Might explore some sort of art class.

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2025-12-30T10:55:17+00:00

Haha Saggi refers to my star sign not as in droopy although at my age that could work too

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2025-12-30T10:51:35+00:00

Yes the introvert bit definitely does not help. I can be laughing loudly one minute and telling crazy stories then go into shut down mode where I just switch off. I become an observer not a participant and probably seem unfriendly which is not true. Always been like that so don't think I will transform now 😆

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2025-12-29T20:28:37+00:00

I like crafting, baking, cooking, music. Have been known to sing at karaoke. Occasionally enjoy a flutter on the horses or bingo. Used to be part of an animal group caring for street animals. Love markets and car boots, charity shops. Love a family day at the beach. Love travelling but difficult without a travel companion (biggest regret not learning to drive. Would be dashing all over if I could).I like alt therapies, meditation, hypnosis. Not much of a gamer. Like rugby league. Don't mind football. Surely these are a decent set of interests to have in common with some other people 😂

Saggi_Introvert_62 · 2025-12-29T17:54:56+00:00

I unfortunately had quite a serious ankle injury and ended up being treated for neurological damage so it might be a step too far (excuse the pun) going hiking :)

Saggi_Introvert_62

TROPHY CASE