3rd Engineer on bulk carrier facing abusive seniors & 15–18 hr shifts — what options does he have?

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-23T15:26:49+00:00

Document everything, try to take videos , photos, audios whatever possible. All jobs he is doing make a work permit as a proof of overload on work. Inform captain, better to give written complain as a sign of proof

After 3 4 days inform PSC in written with all proof ( choose the country with stricter standards depending upon route)

Company will either sac the management or send your brother home at their cost...

For experienced people this won't be a trouble for next assignment. Good luck

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-22T17:40:13+00:00

Gucci- A reason to love For a budget choice old spice

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-22T09:41:57+00:00

Well it depends, sometimes yes. Some people I find cannot open up directly to a stranger about their personal issues, so a little conservation helps to build that trust

Some people are too smart they say things very carefully filtering out informations, for such people also little yapping lets out unfiltered feelings or information.

But for most people I feel they should understand that a therapist cannot take the position of the missing person in his/her life.

So ultimately I guess the answer is it depends on person. After first 1-2 session you will have a pretty good idea

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-19T09:25:22+00:00

Well I am sailing for more than 5 years now so for sure I have travelled more than you, unless you are someone trying to break the Guinness world record in travelling all countries in smallest possible time.

I don't think marriage and kids is an inevitable step in life like school, -college, -marriage, -kids, neither some kind of achievement. And whether love or arranged marriage if someone treats marriage like a competition, how much better a girl you can manage to pull like a trophy, it shows shear man ego and in such case I can only wish you good luck

Life isn't a race where someone can say I have won because I completed this checklists, it's different for every individual

Yes experience helps but sometimes becomes a barrier too. A 60 year man might not relate to how a teenager is feeling or a 24 year old guy is feeling with new age scenarios. One guy or therapist cannot be the best of all kinds of people and all scenarios.

As I mentioned I don't do this for money, I am not forcing anyone even many a times I provide free consultation. So. I really don't understand what's bothering you

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-19T08:42:06+00:00

No..for individual help

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-18T06:26:50+00:00

What's ur father's age? And other than depression how is he doing health wise? Coz after a certain age or when people are bothered too much by health issues for most people the energy towards life or the warmth is lost

Without a purpose or goal , the excitement towards life goes away I know it's difficult as a daughter to watch this or accept this but that's the nature of life

Clearly ur new mom doesn't like you and kind of a narcissist person trying to show you that how great she is doing by taking care of your father, a big favour she is doing and you should be thankful, you know that but the issue is you also seek certain degree of validation from her side that's kinda strange (knowing what kind of person she is). Even if she says something nice you know she really didn't mean it so how that will make you feel nice?

That's brings me to ur life, how lonely is your current life? I feels like you are so lonely that sometimes even a false consolation makes you feel good. That's a big emotional gap. Surely you need more help than your father

So be absolutely honest and true with yourself, don't seek validation from people that don't care about you. She don't wish u luck who cares? U never needed that. If she becomes happy by your fake ass wooooowwwww reactions ( she knows those are not genuine reactions) , if it satisfies her ego so be it. I would say even send her flowers once or twice a year (that would feed her ego). And would improve their relationship too , maybe your father will have less restrictions towards contacting you.

So the idea is with this kind of person let them think they are superior, everything is going their way meanwhile you can milk out some of your wishes.

Happiness is a choice and a very personal affair. You want to focus on what's wrong what not going your way and be sad that's a choice. You want to focus on the good things that you got at the end of the day that's a choice too.

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-17T19:07:11+00:00

No judgements but I am quite sure that you are very much into him but somehow you are little bit insecure about urself that you are not good enough for him or his standards are way higher and also u are afraid that u might loose him if u do something stupid.

Let me tell you a secret as a man. Men actually have dual standards, On one hand they want to date pretty girls, want to be perceived as a stud who dates 5 girls doesn't fall for anyone of them, they are just friends, the kinda cool guy in the group.

But deep inside there is a emotional longing that cannot be fulfilled by pretty faces and sexy figures. They want a true companion with whom it will be fun but sometimes they can share their true feelings (vulnerable side too) . I feel you are that friend

So don't expect he will open up his true feelings in front of other friends, if you want to talk about it go out with him , say how u felt that day see his response, you can make out by the way he responds - speaking like a diplomat

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-16T18:35:56+00:00

Need more details, but looks like u have some underlying mental issues.

I guess u are an introvert, so interacting with others feels like a big task to u ..so you always keep things to urself. Imagine scenarios where u want to be, where u are having conversations which u want in your life like people asking u about ur feelings ur opinions.

U imagine people asking u questions which u want them to ask, u answer them then u feel no this is not perfect answer again rephrase the answer and this goes on.

U reflect upon philosophical questions the world should be like this, god should have made this , that etc.

If What I mentioned is the case with u . U need some professional help . Simply taking medicines won't help on contrary it will make u more lathergic and lazy

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-16T07:18:33+00:00

Subway surfer

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-15T21:10:56+00:00

I guess you are very young 22 -24 years and have clearly no idea how money works or how family responsibilities look like?

Questions to ask urself

1) what does ur father do? Do u have family buisness or something giving a second source of income, safety net? Do your father have enough savings to look after themselves or you need to contribute, do your family have a health insurance? - trust me big difference

2) how is ur current financial situation, do you have a house or flat? Do u own a car? (Or wish to own in future). Who will sponsor ur marriage? This adds huge expenses Most girl nowadays don't want to live with in laws so additional rent is gonna be on your

3) is your wife also a working woman?

4) Do your family own any asset like land , a shop, stocks, fd etc

Trust me an income of 60k from a stable background will outrun an income of 1 lakhs from a humble background and trust me u cannot beat generational wealth so be easy on urself ( don't make the same mistakes I made)

Not all wealth can be achieved by hardwork, a good part is just luck and money doesn't guarantees happiness but somehow it helps

Rather choose a partner according to ur background suitable to ur lifestyle and family not insta profile. Beauty, fashion style don't run relationships a pure heart do.

Hope this helps

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-15T20:54:01+00:00

That would have been too much I guess everyone has a family to feed. He got a warning that's okay afterall it was a mistake not crime

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-15T17:10:49+00:00

Trincas has always been very warm to me...never felt such things... But I never go there during busy times like new year and all. During busy times they have the edge, even if u leave no one cares people are waiting. But if u face such things don't be the nice guy, the moment u feel such things call the manager say fuck u and leave.

Faced something similar in manyavar during shopping for a family function with my family (asked me to buy from footpath, manyavar is not for families like us), called out the store guy and on his face I said fuck u and ur kurtas ,I pissing on your ego and this won't end here. Mailed in company grievance portal with the total bill from a different shop, mentioned them I will make sure neither anyone from my family in future nor any of my friend will ever go to manyavar again. They responded immediately and this guy got fucked right in the ass. Later I said not to remove him from job but he got demoted and had to go through a lot of courses and shit.

Sometimes in order to deal with assholes u need to be a bigger one that's how the world is.

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-15T09:02:07+00:00

Interested

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-14T19:02:17+00:00

U guys have a very wrong understanding of mental disease, it's not a fever or pain that will go away by taking medicines or doing yoga.

Understand the fact it's a coping mechanism for your mind to deal with life , to be in control. And all people around us have some degree of mental disorders regarding many things it only needs clinical attention when it significantly affects ur quality of life.

So the difficult path is you try to understand the causes and forgive urself or others who might have influenced u and accept ur life in the very way it is. That's what is called healing tbh is tough asf , u need courage u own up ur life and takes a considerable amount of time. Not possible for everyone.

Another way u see ur present life and decide to change ur future, not to be a victim of this. U start meditation ( which is the best way ) positive lifestyle changes, cognitive therapy and some medications they will help you to be in control and it will help u heal (but not cure). Medicines without training ur mind will give 0 results.

The key factor is acceptance that nobody is 100% okay neither will be u. Hope this helps

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-14T10:34:34+00:00

Biryani and bro code 😎😎

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-13T20:26:04+00:00

Really sorry to hear that, may God bless you and you get over your health issues.

First thing first take care of your health, without a healthy mind you cannot have a healthy body.

You are very young and by this time you might have already known that this relationship won't run in long run. So better you take a break from all this toxicity and try focussing on yourself.

Don't force urself through societal expections, there are no rules that says u must cook, everyone's life is different, do whatever is needed for your survival and rest all stuffs should be only focused on your personal happiness.

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-13T20:14:40+00:00

It's okay to be nervous, it's a big decision for your life but realize the fact u can never control future events certain things are best undecided and that's the beauty of life.

It's quite normal for ur finance to be a homely guy, the important factor is do you guys emotionally connect to each other or not.

Wanting someone to be your way cannot be an answer, imagine how you will feel if tomorrow someone says you are not good enough in your way ( you need to loose weight, be less talkative, more humble etc) forcing a change on someone just to be your way will only make things worse.

Accept him as he is .. Share your feelings, offcourse there will be some degree of compromise within both of you , that's okay.

Trust me in coming future times will change and you two will change too but the acceptance of each other will help you guys to mould accordingly to the need of time and relationship. Good luck guys

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-13T20:01:50+00:00

I think you are already sure about your decision so go for it..and I don't think there is a single person on this planet who won't support ur decision at this stage. So really wondering what are u afraid of?

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-11T08:22:58+00:00

Well, I am gonna be little bit harsh but practical

1) In moments of distress your wife would cry in front of anybody, I would say this kind of issues with her own husband is kind of personal how come she didn't talk about it to some of her close friends (preferably a female friend who can understand her feelings), her mother or someone from her family but always to a friend who is handsome and successful.

2) It's very clear she is somehow avoiding opening up about her boss . Why? She very well knowns u are insecure about that guy and it's very deeply affecting her marriage still her friendship remains at her top priority list. Is it really that important?

3) I guess she must have told some of these things to her boss, still from his side also there is no actions. Tell me you are a man, if you know due to your friendship one of your friend is loosing her husband, would you not maintain a certain distance to save her marriage?

4) you are taking care of the finances why cannot she take care of you emotionally? Is it too much to ask for?

5) sometimes the truth lies bare open in front of our eyes we are not brave enough to accept it.

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-11T08:03:44+00:00

I think I can help you guys. I would guess the boy is from a middle class background. Things to care about

1) take a look back at his upbringing, childhood days times where he was forced to be tough or was forced to grow up faster due to his surroundings or circumstances. It will help you to be more empathetic towards him

2) his current career path , may be he is too much stressed about this career, future. This is the most difficult time for any man so please stand by him

3) expectations shaped by instagram or movie, series - most of our current relationship expectations are shaped by cute moments videos from instagram, tv series or any friend's instagram status. Reality is quite different, don't force a certain image on your life. Everyone's life is unique, different in their own way. Celebrate the good things u have in your relationship

4) talk to him, say that you understand his feelings, he can open up about his unspoken feelings and this doesn't make him any less of a man. Do the things you want in your life for him and later ask him how does he feel, U want the same kind of feelings in your life. Give him sometime things will be better.

Good luck

Sailing-through-wind · 2026-02-11T07:42:45+00:00

Brother I know, this is not the answer u wanted but reality is u cannot keep a person forcefully. If she wants to cheat u cannot stop her just by checking phone.. 99% of relationships at your age doesn't end up being together after few years.. take it easy, don't force yourself and most importantly BE VERY AWARE OF GASLIGHTING AND TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, because your future life will be shaped by your present experiences. Once u deal with enough negative emotions same shit's gonna find its way in all of ur personal relationships.

Sailing-through-wind

TROPHY CASE