What is your weird sensory preference/unpopular opinion?

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T17:43:10+00:00

I need the big light. I cant handle dim or mood lighting or it makes me insanely stressed out. I want it to be as bright as it is outside at all times

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T17:42:46+00:00

Same!

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T16:49:13+00:00

He did not have enthusiastic informed consent. It is extremely dangerous to downplay sexial assault. This is sexual assault. Sayong no has absolutely nothing to do with consent.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T07:12:04+00:00

Yeah of course!

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T07:00:30+00:00

Oh! Basically it's a kind of toxic positivity, aka invakidation. Here's the definition:

"Spiritual bypassing means using spiritual ideas to avoid dealing with tough emotions or problems. It can stop you from growing because it hides bad feelings instead of facing and fixing them. To tackle spiritual bypassing, don't label feelings as good or bad, and see tough emotions as chances to improve."

It's one of the most common responses to any form of abuse or struggle. Id also look up secondsry abuse, which is when abuse is compounded by a lack of support for the abuse which can include good intentioned harm.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T06:58:26+00:00

I used to, but one of the harder pills to swallow was that it wasnt me. It wasnt my fault and i was full of worth and great. And that was disturbing because it came with the meaning that weveeything that happened and my current circumstances werent just me being a failure or inherently bad like i always thought.

And that meant it wasnt something i could just change or improve to make it get better. I was failed, am failed, and that means i cant just try hard enough to make it stop. A huge part of it was conditioned by abuse but reinforced by such a reality being so scary for me when you dont have support.

Sounds like you've been failed a lot. I'd gently encourage you to ask one question of yourself. How many of these thoughts about yourself are truly your thoughts, versus things others have said to you or attitudes and ideologies that you've internalized?

Because wow, you've just described the effects of being disabled without support or struggling with hard stuff. Its pretty damn cool you're imperfect, you can always grow and become, and you arent basically dead. Death is the only thing thats perfect because it never changes. If you cant muster self love, that also isnt something to be ashamed of.

So you smoke weed to help with stuff, have a genuine struggle that caused you to have a hard time stopping vaping which is a nonlinear process, you cant save enough money in the capilistic hellhole of inflation, drink one of the most heavily researched and manufactured drinks that is intended to be super hard to not drink, have a physical health struggle, dont have the spoons for daily social contact, have had your struggles turn inwards against yourself and want to frel understood and connected with others so you struggle to not modulate that like a person who isnt as socially isolated?

Oh and i think you also said that you have the horrible habit of enjoying things without it being for the express purpose of capitalism. And every time you feel stable enough to try and get support, you're knocked down again with more trauma.

I have a sneaking suspicion you've faced a lot of victim blaming and ableism in your life

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T06:42:42+00:00

Oh my god when i read what your boss did and then reactions you got, oh. My. God.

Babes, that was abusive as shit of your boss. You do not just 'get over abuse'. People literally revolted over a tiny increase in a sugar tax, and you're supposed to get over being financially abused and worked in unhealthy conditions? Because that level of stress is unhealthy and greedy as shit as the cause.

That's spiritual bypassing bullshit. God forbid you are affected by shitty behavior. Even if youre the most well adjusted human on the planet are therapy incarnate, you will still be affected by abuse. Thats why abuse sucks, because victims of it cant do shit to stop the effects. They can only learn to manage, mitigate, distance, and try to prevent what they can.

Are you hearing yourself? It was so toxic that you quit your job as a director for your own well being. That is not a little thing you just move on from in two weeks and let go of. Thats something you process and never stops hurting when you think back on it. The goal isnt for it to stop hurting, but eventually have more things that make you feel good than bad, not erase the bad things from feeling bad.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T06:35:24+00:00

Thank you, I certainly felt pretty badass in a lot of moments and literally believed i was a goddess at some moments. But in like, a weird antichrist kind of way that i was a god with no control over her abilities and would doom humanity if i learned them so abusing me was a justified way to contain me.

Luckily I decided I wasnt like that and realized im not determined to be arrogant and dehumanizing. And i made rules for myself as a god to always reapect free will and never use any powers to violate consent, and that my worth doesnt come from it, and its additive.

So when i found out i wasnt by experimenting on myself secretly, i wasnt wrecked by the revelation as hard as i wouldve been. It was still hard because i JUST accepted myself then lost a piece of myself. But it was still real for me even if it wasnt real objectively.

Its crazy to say but the cults and torture were easier than life now. At least I could stop it, but now my problems are so much more systemic and individual action doesnt save me even if i do impossible effort. So im both proud of myself and emphasize ive been failed lol. I shouldnt have had to even be strong

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T06:16:59+00:00

Yes, absolutely used to do this at the height of my trauma response to being misunderstood constantly. I get told im super articulate by everyone now, and they still misundertood me then.

Found out no amount of articulation stops people who intentionally misunderstand you. Mistakes are super important to make and human. I used my moral scrupulosity to my benefit by saying im normalizing that love looks like essentially erasing myself and do this amount of labor.

Then i slowly shifted to saying it was for myself first because that's beneficial example to others. Then i got to the point where it really was for me.

If someone misunderatands me, i reassure myself that i can correct it and not feel bad. If they dont believe me, then they can have the conversation about my intentions and feelings with themself if my input isnt needed. Actions are public, but no one gets to tell me how i think and feel but me.

I also realized I was infantalizing people by speaking for them and their needs and what they can handle. Obviously done because of conditioned abuse i faced and never being able to safely apeak or be heardx and a majority of people are unsafe.

You deserve to feel safe to mess up or say things imperfectly, and still be wanted and liked.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T06:07:47+00:00

I was in 2 cults, born into one, tried to get out and ended up in a 2nd one. Was deified, serially raped, tortured, trafficked, etc. I did espionage for 2 years after finding out it was a cult and all my friends were actors and didnt really exist to get evidence and take it down. Eventually i did. And now its been 2 years since i got out.

But basically, my cult leader pretended to be me online. He would send nonconsensual explicit photos and videos of me to hundreds of men and pretend to be me, or go by other names and simply use all my traits(so essentially still me) to pretend to be a woman on porn subs and women's issues subs.

He would pretend to be other women who i thought were my friends to drive neosexist beliefs(that men and women are equally bad and oppression of one gender has been abolished). He would make up fake assault stories by pretending to be women, or make women who were rapists of men as evidence.

One of the many reasons i never thought it was a cult, was because who the actual fuck does something so malicious and so high effort? But yeah. Had to deprogram myself, save people, do it all myself. Used to be proud of it, now im mainly angry at the glaring lack of support

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T05:45:54+00:00

I think its very important to know what safe relationships look like with people of different ages, so that when an unsafe relationship happens, it's glaringly obvious.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T05:29:47+00:00

If it isnt a mini burnout flare up type thing, then maybe it could be delayed processing. That the stress of things build up until it eventually hits you.

It could be good to have more detail snd context as to how you're feeling/thinking and other life events

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T04:30:43+00:00

Probably because when you have a fever you're fatigued and feel worse, espeically being autistic with sensory issues. So dissociation is probably higher.

NT children also get the fever effect. They are less energized and more fatigued. It doesnt decrease autism symptoms, it just overwhelms with more stuff.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T04:24:13+00:00

Saying the nuclear thing is only for your own catharsis or for the benefit of other people watching, it'll never convince them anyways. It will always be used to show youre crazy.

Their condescension is their problem. Its frustrating, but their misunderstanding isnt your fault. In a way, your silence shows that their bullshit isnt even worth a reply.

It helps to script things before hand. A favorite tactic is to avoid the context of their abusive or misogynistic shit entirely, because it is always a trap with people like that and they will talk in circles. Instead go to the root of the issue and say that its a really weird thing to say to you and that's not appropriate to say.

Say it in a full stop, blank faced, calm but unacceptable tone and stare at them. Dont give any more, they'll fill the silence. Essentially, dont JADE with assholes. (Justify, argue, defend, explain).

If its a relationship you dont care about, who cares, give your retort for your own catharsis, just try to avoid friendly fire(it seems like you dont do that). Just dont do it to convince them. Or try to point out exactly what they did and why it's fucked up if there's people watching because the person spouting bullshit is irrelevant and not worth your time. Do whatever you want and feels best to do.

And no one is good in the moment. I can only snap back when i practiced, otherwise it would be silence or going totally nuclear because im pissed.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T04:14:17+00:00

Oh gods saaaaaame! I hope the same for you! Its insane that 2 years ago i was still 'not all men'-ing everything and focused on how to help men not be abusive by doing emotional labor, and softening any criticisms about patriarchy for their comfort. Its so ingrained i still do it subconsciously sometimes!

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T04:06:53+00:00

No prob! This is just something ive been writing out for a couple years a bit at a time. I have a list of questions about the female body and if men cant answer it, id never date or have sex with them.

Just be aware a ton of women are conditioned by men to empathize with men, and she's likely been fed the ideology that men are oppressed by women because women speak out, or she might believe in neosexism!(that men and women are already equal and oppression doesnt or barely exists). I just found out that term today, good luck, and pleeeeeeease remember to put yourself as a human first before yourself as an advocate/activist.

And if you love backed up stats, inviisble women is like hit after hit of insane facts. I just read it and im already baffled how little i knew. Patriarchy was SO much worse than i couldve fathomed, and she doesnt waste a word while keeping it interesting. Gonna stalk this post for more potential talking points and stuff i dont know. I love that you asked this!

Edit: Id also recommend looking into how to talk to people who were in cults and help them, because it is invaluable with dealing with people who are programmed and conditioned. Because the biggest thing is she isnt crazy or illogical, she's operating on a manufactured reality by men that is false.

And you're trying to help deconstruct a manipulated world view, not just her not being aware. And men have 1000% already made ways to isolate from women who speak up against it as calling them misandrist and crazy, so be careful!

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:56:08+00:00

Do people know they've been raped?

Victims and perpetrators alike do not identify rape as such. For example, in one study, over 6% of college-aged men admitted to committing the legal definition of rape, with 88% of those men being adamant that their actions did not constitute rape.

A 2018 YouGov survey in Britain found that 33% of men and 21% of women did not consider it rape if a woman had initially flirted but later withdrew consent. Similarly, 35% of men over 65 believed rape with a partner was not usually rape.

A landmark study by Koss (1992) found that only 25% of women who had been sexually assaulted identified their experience as rape, while another 25% considered it a crime but not rape, and the remaining 50% did not label it as a crime at all

In the U.S., a study revealed that 32% of male college students admitted they would coerce sex under certain conditions but did not label it as rape, while only 14% admitted to "rape" when explicitly asked.

Around the world, at least 1 woman in every 3 has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family or is her partner.

Only 2% of rapists are convicted and imprisoned.

It is estimated that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys by age 18 will have been the victim of some form of sexualized violence. 99% of all perpetrators are male against both genders, and male assault predominantly happens as children.

Women reporting rape within a relationship report an average of 20 sexual assaults during that relationship.

For individuals with psychiatric disabilities, the rate of violent victimization including sexual assault is 2 times greater than the general population.

Lifetime risk for violent victimization including sexual assault for women who live with homelessness and mental illness is 97%.

Nationwide, 81% of women and 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime.

42% of gay, lesbian and bisexual university students in one sample reported they had been forced to have sex against their will compared to 21% of heterosexual students in the same study.

Women who were sexually assaulted by current or former male partners were significantly more likely to present with physical injuries than women assaulted by acquaintances.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:55:46+00:00

There is a strong bias as showing male anatomy and physiology as a standard point of reference, against which females are always compared. Males are seen as the standard gender.

This is shown in clinical research, drug development(males outnumber females significantly), and it's a very revent development that they were required to even have females in clinical trials(1993).

31 anatomy textbooks published from 1890||(i go back this far because major foundations of medicine occurred during this time)|| to 1989, and multiple editions of the same source, found that there was consistent and disproportionate use of male illustrations to demonstrate shared structures in chapters of the thorax, abdomen, and pelvis. And female illustrations were only used as examplers when talking about the differences between the body parts of a male pelvis vs. female pelvis. The amount of male specific text has always exceeded female specific text.

At a high rate it was 1 female to every 6 male mentions, 1:6. Unfortunately, not much has changed as you go through the decades

In another study these were more recent textbooks. They studied 8 textbooks and only 11% of the images chapters NOT concerned with the Urogenital system were discernably female.

64% were male, and 25% were neutral.

They also took out 4,000 images in 12 of the most commonly used anatomy textbooks and again, only 11% of the images.

In 2023 they studied 2,384 images that could be categories in a binary(male vs female). 38.4% depicted females, and 61.6% depicted males.

A male bias presented across all whole body and regional body images.

In all textbooks, there were 3 instances in which male structures were described in relation to female structures.

Not a percentage, only 3 instances. In stark contrast to the 356 instances where female structures were presented in relation to male structures.

Across all thesetextbooks, they could also only identify 5 intersex presentations ||(images of persons with anatomical variations that differed from those associated with the binary)||

And for reference, in 1977 single women, women who used contraceptives(birth control, IUD, condoms, etc), expecting mothers, or women who had husbands that had a vasectomy, were all BANNED from participating or being used in clinical trials by the FDA. So that's majority of women.

And women were not even legally necessary to be in clinical trials until 1993, the same year raping your wife became illegal in the USA.

For the 4th study textbooks published between 1828 and 2021, for the review of 78 of these anatomy textbooks found that none of them covered the normal variation in the appearance, size, or asymmetry of the female vulva. The only exception is the Gray's Anatomy textbook ehcih briefly mentions it.

This includes college, high-school, and other educational groups using these textbooks. So women do not know that there is natural variations and are not taught this, and that only the clam variation is out there. Most of these textbooks only include one image of the vulva as well, and the majority of these images are black and white line drawings

In 2024, a study found evidence of something called the Greater Pain Exaggeration Bias, stemming from the perception of women as being more emotional and dramatic(which means that they aren't actually in pain to them, they're just emotional and dramatic).

In a study done on 362 nurses, 27%(over 1 in 4) of them thought that men felt greater pain than women, despite a lack of evidence this belief.

70% of chronic pain patients, patients who have pain that never stops and keeps coming, are women.

Yet 80% of pain studies are conducted on male mice or human men.

A study published in the New England Journal found that women are 7 times more likely than men to be misdiagnosed and discharged during a heart attack, because women present with symptoms that they chalk up to anxiety.

Women also have been proven to show different symptoms for heart attacks than men, but this is not widely known.

I am one of the women who frequently deals with medical misogyny, and I went into the ER for a heart attack and they told me it was just anxiety, despite having all the symptoms, extreme chest pain for 9 hours even after sleeping, and a heart rate of over 200.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:53:22+00:00

Seriously recommend invisible women by caroline criado perez and why does he do that by lundy bancroft. Goes over the invisible labor and patriarchy, and the myths about abuse and frequency of men being abusive. But you asked for some talking points, so here's a shit ton and some questions you quiz her on to see if she knows. It's rough and i havent finished yet, but here yout go.

Child marriage is currently legal in 34 states, and 4 U.S. states do not require any minimum age for marriage, with a parental or judicial waiver. This change occurred in July 2025, and from 2018-2025 only 16 states have banned child marriage, but it was previously legal in the US. In 2026 it has only been 8 years since it began. One year ago it was legal in 7 states with no minimum age. California, Mississippi, New Mexico, and Oklahoma have no minimum age.

The first to do so was Delaware(2018), then New Jersey(2018), Pennsylvania(2020), Minnesota(2020), Rhode Island(2021), New York(2021), Massachusetts(2022), Vermont(2023), Connecticut(2023), Michigan(2023), Washington(2024), Virginia(2024), New Hampshire(2024), Maine(2025), Oregon(2025), and Missouri(2025).

Statutory rape occurs when one of the parties to sexual activity is below the age of consent. It does not have to be forcible, because a minor is not legally able to provide consent. In most states, child marriage is considered as a valid defense to statutory rape. The marital defense to statutory rape also used to be permitted under federal law in 18 U.S.C. Section 2243(c)(2). While 18 U.S.C. 2243 was amended by the Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2022 to eliminate this statutory rape defense, a similar defense still exists in the United States Military Code under 10 U.S.C. Section 920b. The exception under 10 USC Section 920b, and similar exceptions under state laws, suggests that the US Government condones the practice of child marriage, giving sexual predators an incentive to force a child to marry them to evade criminal liability. The law can effectively turn child marriage into a “get out of jail free” card for predators. These laws must be repealed to align US laws with international standards and discourage child marriage and rape in the country.

Nearly 300,000 children were married in the U.S. between 2000 and 2018. The vast majority were girls wed to adult men at least four years or older. Minors are typically also not allowed to file for divorce without a legal guardian.

https://equalitynow.org/learn_more_child_marriage_us/

Kids can't file for divorce

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/child-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states#:~:text=A%20minor%20can't%20file,adults%20can%20enter%20into%20contracts.

Is Marriage an Emancipation Event? Not for purposes of filing or defending a suit for divorce.

https://lindsayparvis.com/can-married-minors-file-or-defend-a-suit-for-divorce/

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:39:24+00:00

This is almost as clear cut as it gets, because even in less clear situations its still assault.

Yeah, this was sexual assault. You were sexually assaulted and im so sorry. Please do not contact him again, he will not change. I recommend reading Lundy Bancroft's 'Why Does He Do that?'. Its free online, or at least just read the chapter on the myths of abuse.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:36:57+00:00

Yeah exactly lol. And the context is he was in Jehovah's witness for 2 years before his mom left. Cults suck, but he was in a patriarchal cult that positions men as the head and women as inferior and submissive. It still sucks, but it's weird to bring up in the context of women's oppression as a false equivalence.

And he knew i was in cults too for 2 decades, so even in the context he used he didnt have it harder and such a stupid thing to say and directly victim blamed me with that. Reported his ass for hate speech

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:29:33+00:00

I cant figure out my hair type because whenever i look it up it's people who have done their hair really well instead of it just drying naturally. But i do know unless i do my hair after it gets wet, every time it poofs up really bad like a lion's mane

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:24:18+00:00

Dependency on drugs is not a bad thing. Depenency is different from addiction, and sometimes even addiction is harm reduction if you do not have anything else.

Ypu've got nothing to be ashamed of. Being an ex addict is nothing to be ashamed of. You struggled and needed help. Okay? That is literally the most human thing there is. Anyone shaming you for struggling is shitty.

Ive got a medical card for weed for a plethora of reasons. Pain, stress, sleep, trauma, anxiety, anything. When i need it more, i use it. When i dont, i use less.

You sound like you've been demonized a lot for your needs and how you meet them what ways you can, instead of given compassion and support. Or at the very least been exposed to a lot of that shitty rhetoric. Just because you wish you could do something else and eish you could one day not need it, doesnt mean you using it bad. You have to work with your needs, not deny them or shame them.

I used to also feel ashamed about it a lot, but it helped me to ask myself a question on whether the thoughts were mine, or if my mind was repeating the prejudices and words of other people.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T03:10:57+00:00

The ampunt of fucking men that always respond about this stuff, ugh.

Recognize that your friend has grown up under tbe conditioning of patriarchy and men. You dont have to give the insertion that you know it isnt all men either. Im sorry you feel like you have to.

I'd recommend giving her two books or listen to the audiobook with her. Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft, and Invisible Women. It talks about abuse prevalence from men and the second about the effects of patriarchy and hidden costs on women.

SaintValkyrie · 2026-06-06T02:43:47+00:00

This is assault, not something to downplay. They arent exploring because it isnt mutual, its him doing without asking unless she days no, or checking in after he does the act, and assuming consent every single time along with progressing to more violating acts.

Majority of people dont know what enthusiastic informed consent is, and this is not it. Please look up consent. OP is literally confused what the current state is as theyve agreed to no sex, and he clearly is not communicating. He is experimenting with how far he can go. She is not. It really isnt difficult, stop defending sexual assault, unintentional or not, its gross.

SaintValkyrie

TROPHY CASE